Whispers

Chapter four

When my alarm went off Monday morning, reminding me that I actually had to go to school, I weighed my options. How much trouble would I, realistically, be in if I didn't go? 

"Gill! Get up!" I groan and rub my face. I would be dead. And yes, that's realistic.

I got dressed quickly, opting for a clean pair of sweats, my running shoes, and a plain T. Even if I had a choice, it didn't matter. My dad would just drag me there anyway. He would stay the whole day to make sure I attended every class if he could, not because he actually cared about my education but because he didn't want me embarrassing him any more than I already have. 

I gather up the rest of my strength, determined to get through the day without another black eye, and went to school. 

It took everything I had not to confront Luke, and it took everything in me to breathe and look away. I was hoping that the rumor about my birth situation and the nonexistent possibility of me having a mate were true, but it was wrong, and it made everything ten times harder. Like one, Chemistry would be harder to get through. The boy sits right behind me, and no doubt knows what is going on. Two, leaving after I graduate would be even harder.  

I open my locker and grab my books, which I then sling into my bag. I distract my thought with how much homework and class work I have missed, because it is the only thing keeping me from screaming. The music blaring through my headphones did nothing to stop people from staring at me. I walked to my first period, and took my seat, hoping the other people would just catch a hint and leave me be. If I can just get through the day without punching anyone and getting in trouble, I will count it as a success.

I get to Chemistry, and plop down at my desk with a sigh. I ignored the feeling of warmth as Luke passed me to sit behind me, and did my best to focus on the work that was given to me. Three days of suspension meant catching up to the class, and I was already behind to begin with. I remind myself that I just need to pass, that way I can graduate and leave this horrible place. I tense as I feel an overwhelming presence come over me.

You're not going anywhere. I swallow hard and stare heavily at my desk, my heart in my stomach. 

Who the f**k are you? Little tidbit about me---my mind link is broken. Has been since I was a child, and no one knows why. This special thing that keeps the werewolves in the same pack connected is just another reminder that I am alone and do not belong anywhere. 

I swallow at the thought of my dad having access to my mind. If that were the case, then I am screwed. I feel my lungs constrict as it became harder and harder to breathe.

Why are you scared of your dad? I turn enough in my seat to lock eyes with Luke, who looked at me like he was ready to kill. I swallow and turn back to my work, which I pretended to do until the bell rang. Once that happened, I throw all my stuff into my bag and race out the door.

"Gill!" I ignore Luke as I run to my next class. I get there, and before I can cross the threshold into the room, a hand wraps around my upper arm and pulls me backward. The sparks and warmth extending to my hand were intoxicating. I looked back, locking eyes with Luke again, and yanked my arm out of his hand. 

"Don't touch me!" I yell. The entire hall, which is full to the brim with students changing classes, goes silent. I can do nothing but stare at Luke and listen to the other start to whisper around me. 

"I just want to--,"

"I don't care. Please, Alpha. Leave me alone," I whisper, and turn to go into the classroom.

You're rejecting me? I stopped in my tracks, my panic transforming into rage. I felt my stomach boil as I gathered the only thought possible.

You rejected me first. 

I get through the class, and decide that I was done for the day. I had reached the point of not caring if I got in more trouble with my dad; Staying here, with Luke, in the same building, is torture. My mind is still reeling from the fact that he has access to my mind. It makes sense, he is my mate after all, but it still terrified me. How long was he able to do that for? How many thoughts has he had access to? What does he know?

After the bell rings, releasing us to our next class, I quickly stop by my locker to get all my books. I don't know how I am going to make up all the work I have missed, but I don't care. I'll just have to figure it out on my own. 

Before I am able to close my locker and make my way to the double doors that lead to freedom, my head is pulled back by my hair.

"Listen here, you little cunt," My blood ran cold with the shock of hearing Sarah's voice in my ear. I guess I was so focused on getting my stuff and getting out that I didn't feel her walking up on me. 

She closes my locker with her other hand and shoves me, head first, into it, "You go anywhere near Luke, for any reason, and I will come for you. I don't care what the reason is. Stay. Away. From. Him. Got it?" The absolute malice in her voice made me shiver. 

"Luke sits behind me in Chem, and I didn't ask for him to follow me to my next period. Maybe you shou--," I moan as my cheek becomes one with the metal of my locker. 

"I don't care. Stay away from him," With one last shove, Sarah let me go. I pushed my forehead up against the locker. The hall emptied quickly with the ringing of the bell, but I stayed cemented in place, with my eyes closed. I push myself off of the lockers and go to my freedom, only losing my composure when I was off of the schools campus. 

I made it home, to an empty house, and collapsed in front of the sofa. I press the heel of my hands into my eyes, hoping that it would stop the endless stream of tears from coming out of my eyes, but it was pointless. All of this was pointless. I wasn't even safe at home--my teachers will notice me missing from class, and will call my dad, and I will be punished--again. I'm not allowed to stand up for myself, because it often turns physical, and talking to a teacher or any administration is out.

"Gill?" I jerk my head up, and feel my stomach relax when I see Grace. "Gill, what are you doing home?" I let out a sob and put my head between my knees. I couldn't do this anymore. 

"Gill," Grace kneels in front of me, "What happened?" I raise my head and chuckle softly. 

"It doesn't matter. You wouldn't believe me anyway," I wipe my tears away, avoiding Grace's look of pity. 

"Your dad will have a fit if he finds out you left school," She sighs.

"Yeah, I know." Grace sighs again and tells me to get up and go to my room. I do as I'm told, collapsing on my bed. I don't even stop the tears that were silently falling down my face as I stared at the ceiling, contemplating the idea of running away. 

I am not sure how long I stayed like that, but the next thing I know, my dad was opening the door to my room. I jerk up and stand, sending a wave of dizziness through my body. I waited for him to scream at me, but he just looked at me sternly. 

"You're grounded to your room for a month. Your food will be brought to you, and you can only leave for the bathroom. Understood?" I swallow and nod. It could be so much worse. I go to open my mouth, maybe to defend myself or say thank you for allowing me to use a bathroom instead of a bucket, but I am stopped before  can speak. 

"I don't care what happened," I closed my mouth and looked down at the ground. Of course he didn't.

"The Alpha is here, and he wants to talk to you." I stare at my dad, my heart falling into my stomach and right out my ass. I shake it off, and follow my dad out of my room and down the hall. With a sniff of the air, I could tell that Alpha Collins wasn't the only one here. 

Luke was here too, as was Sarah. 

I felt my blood boil as I held my head higher. I needed to look like I was fine, even though I just spent the last, Goddess only knows how long, crying and staring up at my ceiling. 

"Here she is Alpha," My dad said, doing his best to make his voice sound cheerful. I could tell his voice was still layered in anger, even though I was sure no one else noticed but me. I swallowed and stepped out from behind my dad with a smile. I didn't get to look at myself before stepping into the living room, but I can only guess that I looked like a wreck.

"Hello, Gill. Are you okay?" 

No, I'm not. But I can't say that.

"Yes, Alpha. I'm okay. How can I help you?" I asked, doing my best to ignore Luke's gaze as Sarah stared me down from beside him. 

"Ah, well. I want to talk to you about a couple of things actually, starting with your leaving school early without permission." He said, folding his hands.

I needed permission to skip? I swallow and nod, "Okay, Alpha." 

"Why did you leave school early?" My heart pounded inside of my stomach. Do I tell the truth? Sarah would just deny it, and they would believe her. 

"I didn't want to be there. So I decided to get my stuff and leave." I said, rocking back on my heels.

"That's a lie, dad." I whip my head towards Luke, confused, and earned a snarl from Sarah. 

"Luke--," 

"Dad, I know what I saw, and I know what happened. She's lying." He argued, his voice bordering on angry and upset.

"Alpha--," 

"My son is under the impression that he chose incorrectly yesterday at his mate choosing ceremony. He poses that the reason you left school today is because you two found out you were mates today, and that you rejected him," The world stops turning as I felt my head spin, "Is that true Gill?"

Against my lungs, I take a deep breath in, "No, Alpha. It's not." I look down at the dingy carpet that covered the living room floor.

"How could you--,"

"LUKE!" I jumped at the sound of Alpha Collins' voice yelling at his son. Luke diverted his attention from me to his dad, shocked and confused, "If you speak out of turn one more time, you will regret it. Do you understand me?" I sneak a look at Luke and watched as the color drained from his face. He turned away from his dad, and looked at the ground. 

"Gill, are you saying that Luke is not your mate?" I look Alpha Collins in the eyes and swallow the lump that had formed in my throat. 

"That's exactly what I am saying Alpha," I say as confident as possible. 

Gill, please.

I ignore Luke's pleas inside my head. 

"So then it is safe to assume that you didn't leave because of you being upset over my son not being with you." Alpha Collins looked down at his son, who was still staring intently at the carpet.

"Yes sir. I left because I didn't want to be there." He bought it, I sighed with relief. 

"Then why were you crying when you came home?" I looked up at my dad, realizing that he would obviously know about that; Grace would have told him the second he came home. I took a deep breath, feeling my lungs relax. 

"I was having a panic attack." I say, looking at him. "I felt it coming on at school, decided that school wasn't the best place to have a panic attack and left." I only hoped he believed it. 

Luke looked up from his spot on the carpet, "Why did you have a panic attack?" I look him in the eye and shrug. 

"I get those sometimes." I say with the most deadpan expression possible.

"Gill--," 

"Well it's settled then. Sarah will still be the Luna of the Crescent Moon Pack. Sorry to bother you all." Alpha Collins clapped his hands and smiled, fully intending on interrupting Luke. I look at Sarah, who is smiling like she won first place, and rolled my eyes. She could have him; I didn't want him anyway.

"No bother at all, Alpha. We are happy to have you." My dad shakes hands with the Alpha, but doesn't force me to do the same. I step forward, without thinking, and take the Alpha's hand and shake it. 

"Will we see you at the next meeting, Gill?" I smile slightly at him and let go of his hand. 

"Yes, Alpha. I'll be there." Not like I even had a choice. My dad will drag me, kicking and screaming, if I don't go.

"Alright then. Come along you two, we have training to do, and we do not have anymore time to waste." The Alpha waved once more at my dad and me, and left. Luke lingered behind slightly, only snapping out of his trance when he was pulled along by Sarah.

I hope you're happy. I swallowed and then sighed as I watched the Alpha's leave the house, finally relieved that they were gone. I could finally relax. 

"Go back to your room now, Gill." I nod and make my way to my room, closing the door behind me. 

I lay back down on my bed, satisfied that I have successfully rejected the mate that had rejected me first. I checked in my wolf, who was silent through the entire thing, but I was just met with more silence. She would have to get over it. We weren't going to die without Luke in our lives; if anything things would be better. Noting would be holding us back from leaving the pack now. I just needed to finalize a plan of escape.

I closed my eyes, my energy depleted and my body exhausted from being tense most of the day, and found sleep. I'm not sure how long I was asleep for, but at some point my dreams shifted from comfortable blackness to me being in the middle of the woods. 

Looking around, I quickly realized that I was unfamiliar with my surroundings. This wasn't the woods that I was used to, the rushing river behind me is too wide and too wild. Where was I? 

I go to the edge of the river and look into it. My strawberry blonde hair is down, and I'm in a white dress that kind of resembled a nightgown that a grandmother would wear. I wasn't wearing shoes either, which allowed me to feel the mud on the bank of the river between my toes.

"Gill?" I look up at the sound of my name, and see the last person I wanted to see. I stood up quickly, and backed away from the water. 

Luke, from the other side, was wearing nothing but white pants, as he reached for me to take his hand. 

"Luke, what's going on?" I breathe out, backing away further. I felt my wolf take over a little, wanting nothing but to feel the touch of her mate, but I resisted. 

"We are mates, Gill. We can hear each other's thoughts, and we can share each other's dreams."

"Funny, I was dreaming just fine before this," I cross my arms and watched as he retracted his hand. 

"Gill, please--,"

"No. There is nothing here for us. I'm not even supposed to have a mate. My mind link is broken, and has been for as long as I can remember," I felt the wind pick up from behind me. It was so strong I should have been pushed towards the river, but I was rooted in place. Luke faltered slightly, but regained his balance quickly. 

"Obviously the Goddess had different plans, Gill. We are meant to be together," He said when the wind died down. 

I laughed and felt the earth shake underneath me. I was so angry that this didn't phase me; I was too focused on Luke being an absolute i***t.

"No," My voice came out in a yell and all movement around us stopped for a second before continuing, "We are not." 

"Gill--," 

"I'm not talking about this anymore. I don't want to be with you. You have Sarah, and she has made it clear that she wants nothing to do with me. So much so that she doesn't even want you to sit near me in class,"

Luke's face went white, "What did she do to you?" I rolled my eyes. 

"It hardly matters now." 

"Well it matter's to me, so tell me!" 

The earth quaked underneath my feet as my anger rose. I took in a deep breath, doing my best to control the only thing I could--Me. 

"Get lost, Luke." 

And just like that, I woke up from the dream, my chest heavy and my breathing hard inside my lungs. I closed my eyes to gather my thoughts, but it became clear that the air in the room was too saturated in my own anger. I needed to go on a walk to get rid of this feeling inside of me. 

I get out of bed, realizing I've been asleep this entire time, fully clothed, and shrugged at myself. Oh well, makes my life easier I guess. My wolf was still giving me the silent treatment, so when I opened my window to sneak off into the woods, I didn't bother to strip and instead opted to just walk off into the trees. The leaves under me crunched as I breathed in the night air. I could spend all my time, and more, in the woods if I were allowed. It is the only place I really feel calm and not on edge. 

I walked to the creek, and bent down to get a drink. I drank water out of my cupped hands a couple of times before sitting down on the ground to really take in the scent of the woods and relax. Even in the pitch dark of the night, I could see where the trees were, and knew exactly where I was, which made it all the more startling when I heard footsteps coming towards me from the other side of the creek. 

I stood up and focused on the footsteps as they started to get louder. They definitely weren't animal foot falls; I know what those sound like. These steps were intently walking my way, one foot in front of the other, one step at a time. 

I feel my heart pound and my body freeze. Did my dad wake up and check on me in the night to make sure I was still in my bed? Was Luke out here looking for me? 

Well, it couldn't be my dad, otherwise the footsteps would be coming from behind me. He's also not one for sneaking; He wants me to know exactly how angry he is at all times. His heavy footsteps would have been right behind me the entire time; In fact, I wouldn't have made it all the way to the creek. He would have snatched me up the second he saw me, and I would be powerless to stop him. The man out weighs me and is taller than I could ever hope to be. 

I also don't think it's Luke, because, again, the footsteps are coming from in front of me--The pack house was five miles away in the opposite direction. I also would have felt him coming, maybe? 

I started backing up, away from the creek, as slowly and quietly as possible, when I step on a branch, snapping it in two. 

Everything stops--the footsteps, the natural sounds of the woods, me. I held my breath and strained my eyes to see something in front of me, something that could be heading my way. 

My heart hammered against my chest as the footsteps started again, faster this time. My wolf urged me to run, finally coming out of her silence, but I was like a deer trapped in headlights--moving was out of the question. 

My eyes caught movement in front of me. The barely distinguishable shape of a person stopped on the other side of the creek. I couldn't make out their features, or tell if it was a man or woman, but then again my wolf didn't give me enough time to tell. 

I sprinted home, hoping that the person did not follow me to my house. I looked back a couple of times and could have sworn I saw someone running after me, which just further fueled the adrenaline coursing through my veins. I got into my room and shut my window as quietly as my panicked hands would let me and backed away from the window. 

I stared into the darkness outside, but, suddenly, everything beyond the window was completely black as the light to my room turned on unexpectedly. 

"Where. Were. You." I turned and saw the blackness in my father's eyes. 

"I-I went for a w-walk," I stammered, panic rising into my throat. 

He didn't say another word as he came towards me and violently shoved me against the window. I didn't dare move, even though I heard movement on the other side of the glass.

"What did I say about leaving this room?" He growled, balling his hands into fists. 

"I'm--," He took a hold of my throat, tightly, and pinned me against the window. The movement outside stopped suddenly as I kicked against my dad's hold. He was too tall, and his arms too long. Even if I were able to land a hit on him, it wouldn't do anything to him. 

"I swear, you are the bane of my existence. I should have killed you when I had the chance," He squeezed my throat tighter as I coughed and reached for breath. I continued to kick at him, and tried pulling his hand off of my throat, but nothing I did worked; I couldn't even reach the ground. 

My vision was fading when I was thrown onto the ground, finally able to breathe. I coughed as I lay my head on the ground, thankful for the oxygen filling my lungs. 

"All you do is defy me and embarrass me," He picked me up by my hair and whipped me around to face the window. 

Outside, just barely, I could see the form of a person, staying still as possible. They watched what was happening, their body language giving off a shocked expression. I felt the tears well up in my eyes. Even if they were to help me, what were they going to do. Even from a bit away, I could tell they weren't as big as my dad. He would kill them.

"You get a good look out that window, girl. Because it is the last time you will be seeing it," My dad pushed me to the ground, face first, and stomped out of the room. 

I lay on my bedroom floor, shaking, for a long time. I wasn't sure if I fell asleep or not, but the next thing I know it is morning, and my alarm is going off for me to get ready for school. With my legs shaking, and my head screaming at me to stay down on the ground, I get up to my knees and look out the window. 

I don't know what I was expecting. I guess part of me hoped that someone was really outside my window. Maybe part of me hoped that all of that was just a dream, that I didn't just barely scrape by with my life, and that the person I know I saw wasn't real. 

But I knew it was real. The tightness and soreness in my throat and head confirmed it. I know, for sure, that when I get home from school there will be a board up on my window, blocking me from the outside world completely. 

"Gill!" I shrank at the sound of my dad's voice. His footsteps came down the hall, and my body shook harder as I tore off my shirt to throw on a clean one. I had just yanked on a pair of jeans, and was buttoning them, when he opened the door. Without looking at him, I yanked on my shoes and grabbed my bag. 

I stood in front of my dad, my bag on one shoulder, and my hair a wild mess. 

"Do you have anything to say?" I gathered up what little courage I had to look my father in the eyes, only to receive a smack across the face in return, causing my head to whip to the side so fast it made the room spin. I felt the swelling on my cheek start as I raised my hand to it, and kept my gaze down on the ground. 

"Get out of my sight," He spat. I ran passed him and out the door. 

When I looked back at the house, from the safety of the road, and behind a tree, I watched as my dad came out of the house with a board, hammer, and nails. He walked behind the house, most likely to my window, to board it up. The woods were silent as I heard the deafening slams of a hammer against nail.

But my attention was diverted for half a second before I started my walk to school--for a second I saw something--or someone?--move in the woods. It was brief, and it could be the sleep deprivation playing tricks on my eye sight, but I wasn't sure. Maybe it was the same person from last night. 

The anger of last night simmered inside of me. There was nothing I could do but raise my middle finger to the sky, hoping the person saw it.