Whispers

Chapter two

The next day at school isn't any better than the first. 

There is a continuous buzz from the different packs. Apparently they all had meetings last night. As I walk down the halls, I hear excited voices congratulating others. I sigh and do my best not to think about last night. If I would have gone, it would have just further remind my dad of how much of a disappointment I am.  

I make it to my first period class without a struggle. Everyone is caught up in their gossip about last nights meetings that they are not paying attention to me--which is nice. I still get a couple of stares here and there, but nothing like yesterday. Eventually, I know, they will stop talking about the meetings and do one of two things: go back to noticing me, or leave me alone. 

I hope it is the second option.

I plop down in my seat for history and pull out my notebook. My earbuds are still in my ears as the classroom fills with other students. Before I know it, I am surrounded by other bodies. I look down at my notebook blankly. 

I feel weird. My heart is pounding, and I can feel my lungs start to seize; the lack of oxygen makes me dizzy. I swallow and rub my face. What is going on? I do my best to take in a deep breath, but it is nearly impossible. 

Griffin comes in the room and starts with the days lesson, not missing a beat. Something is wrong, but I can't put my finger on it. Maybe it's just me? Everyone around me seems to be fine. I yank my earbuds out of my ears and try to focus on the lesson, taking notes as we went along. My eyes went in and out of focus--one second I was hyper focused on the paper and what I was writing, next I can't see the words I was trying to write on the paper. 

Somehow, I make it through the lesson. When the bell rings above me, I throw my notebook in my bag and high tail it out of the room towards Chemistry. I get to the room and sit down in my seat--I am the first on here, so I take that moment to put my head down and breathe.

"You okay?" I jump at the sound of another voice in the room with me. My head came up so quickly that my eyes had no time to adjust to the sudden light in the room. After blinking a couple of times I looked around. 

There was no one in the room with me. I was still alone. Who just talked to me? 

I swallow and take a couple of deep breaths. The class starts filling up with other students, but I'm too busy trying to figure out where the random voice came from. Before I know it, the teacher comes in the room and is diving into the lesson without hesitation. 

I get through the period, and the subsequent periods after that until I make it to lunch. I feel like I am a zombie; walking the halls barely conscious of what is happening around me, yet overly aware of how I am feeling. I force myself to eat something--which turned out to be an apple and some salad--because my stomach begged for it, yet did not want it at the same time. I finish quickly and lay my head on the desk, tired and shaky. Today is a weird day.

Then, I feel someone tap me on the shoulder. I raise my head gingerly, a headache coming on, and look behind me to see the guy from my chemistry class starting to sit down beside me. Suddenly, I was aware of all the eyes on us. 

"What are you doing?" I whispered, looking around us. He just sat down with a smile, his white t-shirt hugged his body in all the right places, and his sweatpants made him look simultaneously lazy and good looking. I didn't even know that was a possible aesthetic, let alone achievable. 

"What, am I not allowed to sit here?" He asks, balancing his chin on his fist. He smiles at me, further confusing and astonishing me. His smile was just as beautiful as he is, and his eyes are soft and welcoming. I swallow, my chest constricting again, but for a different reason.

Nope, not okay. I took a deep breath, and gathered my thoughts. This is not happening. I turned away from him so he wouldn't notice me staring at him. His soft chuckle enveloped me in a warm cloud. I couldn't speak. I didn't want to speak. I am afraid of the words that would potentially come out of my mouth if I even dare to open it an inch. And yet...

"I don't care. Do what you want," I sigh, thankful that I was able to get something out of my mouth that didn't make me sound like a lunatic.

"Great, because I wanted to talk to you," I look at him, meeting his gaze as he looked lazily down at me. 

Me? Why does he want to talk to me? Out of all people, me. I rub my face, thinking that I could rub some of the embarrassment off, as I looked around the lunch room. Everyone is stealing looks at us, whispering about what was happening between us. 

"What would you want to talk to me about?" I asked, turning my eyes back to him. He smirks at me, causing my heart to do a little flutter.

"Just about you, and why you weren't at the pack meeting yesterday," I roll my eyes. Why does he care?

"Wouldn't you like to know," I reach for my bag's strap, ready to flee from him, when he grabs my arm and pulls me back. 

A spark flew up my arm. I look at him, stunned. The whole room goes quiet, and I suddenly don't care about what other people are saying or their stares. It's just us two, in this moment. 

That's when it hits me. This guy, the guy I found sleeping with someone else in my second period classroom, is my mate. 

"Gill, I was just wondering---," I yank my arm away from him and shoot up to my feet, breathless. His eyes tells me that he knows too, and his body language shows how shocked he is. This can't be, no. I don't like this. 

"Don't touch me," I whisper, grabbing my bag and running to the door. 

"Hey! Wait! Gill!" I heard someone behind me, and I didn't have to turn around to know who it was. I run out the door, not paying attention to where I was going, when I full on collided with someone. I fell to the floor, clipping a table on my way down. I scramble back to my feet, readjusting my bag on my shoulder. 

A pair of dark brown eyes looks at me, angrily. It's the same girl from yesterday, the one that slapped me. I freeze, my body flipping to fight or flight. 

"Well," I swallow as the girl crosses her arms and gets in my personal space, "Isn't it the new girl, bumping into me, again. I thought you learned to stay out of the way," She pushes me back into a table. My bag fell to the floor with a thump that echoed off the walls of the cafeteria. Everyone was waiting for one of us to make the first move. 

I swallow and center myself. My wolf was ready to fight, ready to show this girl that I should be the one she should be afraid of, but I can't fight anymore. Goddess only knows what my dad would do if I got into another fight, especially one on my second day at this new school. I'm already in trouble for yesterday, and I didn't even start it. I don't want to know what he would do to me if I did throw the first punch.

I sigh, pick up my bag and try to go around her. She follows my every step, blocking my escape from this situation. The laughing around me grows and continues. 

"Oh, look at the little baby. New girl can't fight," I look up at the girl, who is now laughing at me along with all the other people in the room, when something snaps. I drop my bag, and just as the bag makes a soft thud on the ground, I give her the best right hook I can muster straight in her jaw. 

There is a moment of silence as everyone takes in what just happened. The girl is pushed back, holding her jaw, stunned. My knuckles are throbbing, but it feels good. Fight mode is chosen and activated. I stood my ground as the girl recovered.

What happened next is a blur. A flurry of fists, hair pulling and kicks. All I remember is, near the end, I am straddled on top of her, about to lay another punch to her face when I am pulled off of her. The yell that came from my mouth wasn't human; The sound is unhinged, and when I hear it I snap back to reality and realize what I have done.

Ten minutes later, I am sitting in the nurse's office with an ice pack applied to my eyes. Its swelling and sure to bruise. Thankfully my nose had stopped bleeding soon after getting into office. I groan in frustration at myself--how could I be so stupid.

"The principal will see you now, Ms. Matthews," I sigh and get up, ready to face my fate. It is a short walk to his office, which I am thankful for. My head is spinning from the short distance, and I am sure I was given a small concussion from the fight. I blink a couple of times when I get into the room, and sit down on the other side of the desk. 

I take a second of silence to take in my appearance. I have blood on my light green shirt, my jeans has two new hole on the knees, and my braid was so torn apart after the fight that I took it down the second I could. My hair is now in a ponytail, which is barely holding on because my head hurts too bad to have it any tighter.

"Gillian Matthews..." The principal sighs at me and meets my eyes. I hold his gaze with both eyes so I can see what was happening. "I was wondering when you were going to end up in my office,"

"Honestly thought it wouldn't be so soon," I slump in my seat. 

"I was just reading your record. You have quite the reputation. Do you feel as though you need to keep up that reputation here? At my school?" He looks at me sternly. 

"No sir," I whispered, knowing he isn't going to believe me. I did start the fight, just like all the other fights that happened at my other schools. Something else takes over and I snap. I don't have any excuse for it other than that, and it's not a good one.

"I called your dad," my eyes widen with shock. 

"You did what?" I ask, my voice shaking. I am done for. 

"He's on his way as we speak. You will finish out your day, and then you will be suspended for the rest of the week. Understood?" I  groan. 

My dad walks in two minutes later, anger coming off of him in waves. I put my face in my hands, ready for the onslaught of insults that I am sure he is going to throw my way, but he is silent. Him and the principal discuss what happened, and then discuss my punishment. My dad looks at me with a sigh, "That is fair, sir. I promise this won't happen again."

The principal chuckles, "I hope not, but I don't have high hopes," He looks at me, leans back into his chair and clasps his hands together. 

I am dismissed to go back to class. At this point, it is nearing the end of sixth period. There was no point in going into the classroom when I had ten minutes left, so I decide to take my time going to my last class of the day. When I get there, I sit down in the hallway and close my eyes. 

My face is throbbing, and my head feels like an unsupervised three year old with a drum set is having the time of his life. I groan as the bell rings, the sound making me wince. Students filed out of the classroom, shifting their eyes to me and then laughing. I roll my eyes to myself--I won the fight. Why were they laughing?

Somehow, with much luck, I make it through my last period. I don't know how I managed to take coherent notes. When the final bell rang, I was both thankful and annoyed. I pack my things as slowly as possible and waited for everyone else to leave the room. By the time I get into the hall, everyone is gone. I sigh with relief and make my way to the school entrance, ready for the walk home. 

I wasn't expecting to be pushed into a wall of lockers. I wince, my back screaming at me. There is a hand around my throat and a subtle growl of a voice coming from the girl I fought today, "Don't cross me again, you little mutt. If you do, I will tell the whole school your little secret," I swallow and look at her, confused. 

"What could you possibly know about me?" I pushed her off of me, disconnecting her hand from my neck. 

"Oh you know what. Better watch your back," She walks away from me, as I stare after her, stunned. 

Shaken, I start my walk home. When I get there, I take a deep breath and sink into the sofa. I close my eyes, not wanting to think about the day I just had. Not only am I grounded for an unspecified amount of time, but I am also suspended from school; which is going to come with another grounding. At this rate, I am going to be grounded until I die. I rub my face, annoyed and stressed at myself. 

The kitchen door opened ten minutes later, and in walked my dad. I get to my feet in an instant, ready to outrun the possible beating I might get. He, largely, ignores me. Doesn't even look in my direction until I pick up my bag to go to my room. 

"Don't you go anywhere, Gillian," I stop dead in my tracks and turn to face my dad, who is now standing in front of me in the living room. I don't feel the slap ring against my cheek until my body hit the floor.

"How dare you. You've made a fool out of me, out of Grace. You embarrassed the entire pack today with your actions. You deserve a beating, Gillian, and I could probably get away with it too. You're already bruised up, they won't notice a couple more," His voice was even and dark. I start to crawl backwards, keeping both eyes on my dad, until I feel my back brush the wall. I squeeze my eyes shut, bracing myself for what is about to happen. 

"You're lucky that the Alpha is on his way," I open my eyes and let go of the breath I was holding, "Go change," is the last thing he said to me before he turned and left me where I sat. My body is shaking as I get to my feet and walk to my room. I change, quickly, into a different shirt and a different pair of pants. As I finish, I hear more voices come into the house. 

"Gillian!" I squeeze my eyes and wince again at my dad's voice. It has a layer of fake worry and concern.  It was the voice he used whenever company was over, and he saves it just for me. I am in no space to ignore him, so I walk out of my bedroom and into the living room.

There, before me, was the boy from my Chemistry class, and the Alpha. I look at them questioning why they are both here to myself. I panic; my mate, the Alpha, and my dad are all in the same room. I square my shoulders and take a deep breath. I didn't have time for nervousness. 

"Is there a reason you wanted to talk to me, Alpha?" I hear myself ask, trying not to look at my mate. Why is he here?

"Yes, actually I want to discuss a couple of things," He motions for me to take a seat. I look at my dad, who stares me down. I do as I'm told and take a seat on the sofa. I try to think positive; maybe he is here for another reason, other than the obvious. I know I am lying to myself right away; there is no denying why he is in my house. This might not end well for me.

"So, I hear you got into a fight today with another pack member," I nod and then lower my head to look at the floor. "I need you to know that fighting is not tolerated between the pack members in my pack, Gillian," I sigh and nod, "Look at me,"

I raise my gaze to the Alpha, and I can't help but notice the similarities between him and the boy. They have the same jaw line, the same body build, and even the same eye color. 

"Yes, Alpha," I say softly.

"If another fight like this happens, Gillian, I will be forced to send you to a reformatory pack," He says nice and stern. I swallow, sensing the firmness in his statement; This is for real. 

"I understand, Alpha. It won't happen again," I steal a look at the boy--what was his name?--to find him staring down at me. What was his problem? 

"Good. I am happy to hear that. I also want to discuss your position in the pack," He folds his hands in his lap, "You haven't taken very much initiative. You don't come to meetings, you barely interact with any of the pack members. We need to fix that," I, internally, roll my eyes. I don't want to be involved. 

"Gillian," I meet his gaze again. It's softer than before, but it is still stern, "I expect you to make an effort. Start coming to pack meetings at least. We have a get together tonight at the pack house, and I expect you to be there. Understood?" I break eye contact and groan, and when I do I feel my dad give me a thump on the back of my head. 

"Apologize. Now," He says as I rub the back of my head. I look back up at the Alpha, tears of pain and annoyance forming around the brim of my eyes. I was on the brink of crying. 

"You're coming too, right Gill?" I sigh. I can't escape this.

"Yes sir, sorry sir," I whisper, still rubbing the back of my head. My brain feels rattled from the day, and the thump didn't help that. The headache I already have starts to grow bigger. How was I going to make it through this get together with a black eye and a headache from hell?

"Sorry, Gillian. I didn't hear that. Could you speak up and look at me?" I lower my hand from my head, still staring down at the floor, and gather myself. 

I lowered my eyes and sighed. "Yes, Alpha. I'll be there." 

"Good. See you all tonight." The Alpha got to his feet, along with the boy. They shake hands with my father and leave the house. It takes me a moment to realize that we are completely alone in the house. Grace is, probably, at the pack house and she probably won't be home until after the get together. I tense at the thought, not making a move. Hopefully my dad just let me go to my room.

"Get out of my sight," He grumbles at me, freeing me from my position on the sofa. I run to my room and lock the door behind me. The second I am alone, in the comfort of my own space, I start crying. I can't help but be angry. Angry at my dad, at the girl who I fought, at the boy, at the Alpha... At myself. I know better, I've been threatened with a reformatory pack in the past, but my dad has never followed through. 

This threat, this time, isn't coming from my dad. This is for real. One more slip up and I'm gone. 

I stop, mid tirade, mid sob even, and think. Gone? Away from my dad? Away from this pack? Away from all the disappointment? Away from the constant feeling of fight or flight?

I shook my head--Even if I was sent to a reformatory pack, they are notorious for being horrible places to be. I've heard rumors before and know that they don't care about abusing you until you submit. I rub my face, a new wave of tears flowing down my cheeks. The bruise on my face stung at the slight pressure, making me wince. 

I flopped down on my bed, tired and fed up with everything. This could not get any worse. I close my eyes, wishing with all of my being that this isn't real. Maybe if I wish hard enough, I could get myself away from all of this--back to my mom, and a place where I am actually loved. I open my eyes with a sigh, knowing that it isn't even slightly possible. I haven't heard from my mom in years. 

A knock on my door makes me sit up. My hair falls out of its ponytail and fans itself across my shoulder as I turn my head. My dad, who still looks angry, peeps his head into my room. 

"The meeting is in two hours. I suggest you take a shower and put on something decent. It's a special event tonight," He goes to close the door, but I stop him. 

"What is so special about tonight?" I ask, curious. He sighs and opens the door wider. 

"Apparently the Alpha's son has found his mate. He is announcing her today," He crosses his arms, his face not showing any surprise when he says this to me. He's probably known about this since the meeting last night. 

"Oh. I didn't know the Alpha had a son."

"That's because you're a disgrace and don't come to meetings. How could you not have known; He was here today with the Alpha," He closed the door behind him with a soft slam as his words sunk into my chest. 

He was here today? That means... Oh no. 

I jump up from my bed and start pacing, my heart pounds against my chest like its trying to break through and escape. My lungs are barely able to hold any kind of oxygen. This cannot be happening right now. I do this for a while, and don't realize that I did this for the entire time before the meeting. 

"Gillian!" My dad screams from the living room, rooting me to the floor. Shitshitshit. I run around my room, looking for something other than jeans and a t-shirt to wear, but I can't find anything. I groan at myself, knowing my dad's reaction already, and throw on a hoodie. It's too late now. 

I walk out of my room and into the living room. My dad stood there, towering over me, in a button down shirt and a pair of slacks. He sighed and shook his head at the sight of me, but didn't say anything because he knew I didn't have time to change. 

"Get in the truck, we're late as it is," I march myself to the truck, a lump of panic stuck in my throat. 

This is not going to be fun.