My Sweet

JAMES

What the f**k!!

Liv, my brave sweet Liv..

We didn’t get very far when she slowed down. The coppers are there in minutes.

I jump out to tell them what happened.

I need to get to Liv..

Shit.. She is not in the car..

Fuck, f**k did she run?

“Liv!” I panic..

“Sweet!” I run behind the car.

I find her sitting on the pavement, hugging her legs.

She’s shivering, I put my jacket over her shoulders.

“He’s dead…. He’s dead…. ”

She chants to herself..

Fuck I’m losing her…

“Liv, baby. I’m here..”

I sit in front of her, take her face in my hands. Wiping the tears as they roll down her face.

I look into her eyes…

There’s nothing…

Void…

Fuck no…

“LIV! Baby please, come back.. Please, please please..”

I start to kiss her, wherever. Her eyes, cheeks, mouth, nose, everywhere.. While my own tears starts to rolling.

I cradle her head against my chest.

“Sweet, my Sweet, please.. I’m here. I’m fine.. You saved me, again.”

I kiss her on the spot I love so much..

Like a switch was flipped she starts to sob and hold onto me..

I know she’s back.

I cry with relief and love….

I look into her eyes to make sure she is back.

“I thought…. I thought I lost you too.. I heard the gunshot and I thought you… you..” she say between sobs.

“I'm fine.. You brave, strong woman.. You OK, Sweet… You did good..”

“Let me take you home..” I coax her to stand

“I need Em..” she says shaky

“I’ll call them now. First you need to get checked out. The ambulance is here..”

I ask the EMT to make sure she didn’t get hurt anywhere. While she is busy there I’m talking to the coppers giving them a more detailed statement on what happened.

~

Before Katie can say anything...

“Katie, where is Em?”

“Hey asshole! A hello would be nice.” Katie says, pissed.

“Katie I don't have the time. Where is Em!”

She hears I'm serious.

“James, what's wrong. Where's Liv?” Em asks panicked..

“We almost got hijacked. Pack your stuff you staying at my place.”

“f**k no. Is she OK? s**t… James, she's not…?”

“No, she's getting checked by the EMT now. We'll see you at my place.”

It was a heavy discussion on whether she should go to the hospital and Liv refuses to go.

I call doctor Roach in front of the EMT’s, he’ll come and check her out at my place. They were happy, Liv was relieved.

I just want this night over for Liv. I just want to make it better, somehow..

We drive to my place. I look at her every five seconds, my heart breaking every time.

She looks so small in my jacket.

She is pale, look like she aged twenty years in the last hour.

She is an empty shell..

It kills me to see her like this..

In front of my building I crouch to pick her up.

“I can walk, you know..”

She looks me in the eye..

Nothing… f**k… Just sadness..

“I know, but I’m carrying you. Let me look after you..”

I pick her up without waiting for an answer.

She nuzzles her head in my neck.

“Thanks.” She whispers.. More nuzzling..

“Mint..” She mumbles..

“Sometimes coconut..”

I have no idea what she is talking about. Must be the shock..

“You taste like Menta, sometimes Cocco..”

She’s talking about gelato flavors.

Doctor Roach gave her the all clear, he also gave her something to help her to fall asleep.

I just got Liv in my bed when a small tornado with the name of Em came crashing in..

“Where is she?” She looks… Drunk.

“She’s in my bed.. Door at the end..” She’s already there, before I finish the sentence.

“s**t James, what happened? Are you OK?” Katie asks worried.

“Are you two drunk?”

“Tipsy, we didn’t know this would happen.. We weren’t planning on leaving. As you can see..” she points to her outfit. Yoga pant and an ugly ass t-shirt.

I tell Katie what happened while I’m making some tea.

Five minutes later Em emerge from my room. Tears brimming her eyes.

“She’s sleeping.. f**k I can’t believe this happened to her again..”

Em says. She looks a bit more than tipsy..

“That’s exactly what I thought. I was scared shitless. When I looked in her eyes, she was determined not to let it happen again.. She just tramped on the gas and flew out of there. The gun on my side went off.. That gun fell into the car. When she stopped, the coppers were there in a second, I jumped out to tell them what happened, before they arrest her. When I got back to the car she was gone. I found her on the pavement hugging her legs. Mumbling to herself.. I just knew I’m losing her.. I looked into her eyes.. f**k… I’ll never forget it.. There was nothing.. I was petrified that I won’t be able to get her back..”

By then Em and Katie were crying.

“Did you bring your stuff?”

“No, we just got in a taxi as soon as I finished talking to you..”

“OK, you two go back and start packing. Liv will be out for the night. If anything happens I’ll call you, I promise.”

“I can’t leave her. She needs me..”

“I know Em, rather go now when she is sleeping. When she wakes you’ll be settled here.. ”

She nods her head as I’m speaking.

“ It will be good for you to deal with these feelings, she’s going to need us to be strong. Especially you.”

I give her a hug.

At the door she turns “James, Thank you for being here. Thanks for being strong for us.. For her.. It means so much to me.”

They left.

~

I go check on Liv. She looks restless but asleep.

I step into the scorching hot shower. I try to relax.

All I see in my mind is Liv’s scared face, then her determination, then the nothingness in her eyes, then the sadness..

Seeing her like that, nearly killed me. I felt this darkness inside me, when I saw the gun against her head..

I've never experienced this type of feelings.

I want to protect her with everything I am.

I love her with everything I am..

I'm so f*****g angry.

I’m so f*****g pissed.

Not just of what happened but because I have no idea what to do.

How do I fix this?

How do I make this better?

I feel so incompetent.

I start hitting the wall with all my strength.. The water have the pink tinge of my blood dripping from my knuckles..

Fuck, it felt good..

I get out. Get dressed. Patch up my hand.

All I can do is be here, for her.

Comfort her..

~

I hear my phone ring in the distance. I couldn't care less.. I'm still standing in my bathroom. Praying for the strength, praying to be what she needs me to be..

As quiet as I can, I walk in my room. I tense.

Shit, she's gone..

Where the fuck..

With panic I throw my door open just to find her in the corridor. I feel the blood drain from my face because I'm shocked to the very core, seeing her like this..

She's sitting on her knees, looks like she's searching for something..

She mumbles something I can't make out..

I go to her, sitting on my knees as well. I realize she's not awake..

"I'm sorry... so so sorry... where... are... you.."

She's still mumbles. I can only make out bits and pieces..

I don't want to scare her. So I take her hand in mine. Slowly rubbing it, maybe she'll wake..

"Hey, there you are"

I'm not sure if she's talking to me or still dreaming..

"Hey Sweet, what you doing here in the cold?"

She takes my face in her hands and kiss me with passion, she pours all her feelings into it, I respond exactly the same. My c**k start to stir. f**k not now..

She breaks the kiss and press her forehead against mine.

"I'm so happy you are OK. I don't know what I've done if I lost you too.. " she whispers between her tears.

"Sweet, how can I ever thank you. How many times have you saved me? You're my angel. Send for me from above." I kiss her under her ear. Thanking God for her. I've talked to God a lot since I met her.

" You say that a lot. I saved you. I think it's you that saved me. I was still living in the past. You made me see light again."

She pulls me down in a hug. She nuzzles in my neck.

Fuck, how can I love her so much in such a short time I've known her.

We sit there basking in the reality of what we are, our feelings raw and true..

She starts to cry softly.

" Shh Sweet.. My brave Liv.. You are my heart.."

I feel her shiver. s**t, she's ice cold..

I pick her up and take her back to bed.. Her head on my shoulder, she lifts her head just a little and kiss me in my neck. My c**k has a mind of his own..

Shit, if the night didn't went to s**t, I would've been balls deep inside her.

Stop it! Stop it f*****g now! I can't think about that!

"You'll stay with me?" She asks sweetly.

Not in the state I'm now..

"Of cause I will. Let me make some tea and make a call then I'll come back, promise." I bend down and kiss her pout. f**k, what I wouldn't do with that pout. Need to get out of here and throw ice down my pants..

~

It was Katie that called. I hope they OK. These two had enough s**t for tonight. f**k, for life..

"Hey bro." Katie sounds tired.

"Umm, I think we are going to stay here tonight."

"Are you two OK?"

"Yea, we’re fine. Em had a bit of a breakdown, she drank herself in a stupor. I'll stay here with her tonight, she has to work through this before she sees Liv."

"It's fine. Just look after her. Liv is sleeping now. Tell her I'll call as soon as something happens.."

Katie is quiet, to quiet.

"Katie are you OK?" I ask, realizing that this hit her hard too. She adores these two sisters.

"f**k James, when I see what Liv been through and how it affects Em. I'll never moan about my life ever again. We are so blessed with our trivial problems.."

I was thinking the same. I wanted to end my life over a blonde stuck up b***h and a couple of millions dollars. Here is this sweet, caring loving woman. Look what she's been through. You can't even compare the situations! I’m a f*****g brat!

“ Yes, I know.. I love you Katie." I don't say that enough..

"Love you too. Night."

~

I sit next to the bed. Watching her..

Creepy, I know..

Every time she moves I jump up to see if she is OK. She is still mumbling in her sleep. She talks to a Bee, sometimes I hear my name.

Now I understand why my mom was in such a state after Dad suddenly died. Now I know what love is, the real all consuming love..

Liv suddenly sits up and scream. My blood runs cold,

"s**t Liv, you OK.. I'm here.."

I sit beside her, hugging her.

She is still a bit confused.

When she looks up in my eyes, I see the realization in her eyes.

"I'm sorry, you don't have to sit here the whole time. I'll be fine.."

Fuck, she's still thinking of others while she's going through this..

"I want to be here.. I want to look after you.. I'll do anything to make you feel better.. what can I do?" I'm desperate to make her feel better.

" Lie down with me, hold me.. you make me feel safe.."

"That I can do.."

I lie next to her. Her head on my shoulders she nuzzles into me.

"Did I talk in my sleep?"

"Yes, you are quite talkative."

She tensed a bit.

"I couldn't hear much, you were mumbling most of the time."

She relaxes a bit.

"My name came up and you were talking about a bee? Or with Bee."

"Bee.. That's my husband.. We called each other Bee.."

I can hear the sadness in her voice. Everything that happened tonight opened up a lot of wounds. I hold her just a little bit tighter.

"When Chris and I started dating he called me baby. David said Bee instead of baby, so that was it. We called each other Bee.." I hear the smile..

"Tell me about him.. Chris."

She looks at me with surprise.

"You want to know about him?"

"Yes. He is part of you. He made you happy. I want to know every part of you. Why does that surprise you?"

"Most men are intimidated by my dead husband."

She lies with her on my shoulder again. We fit together perfectly. We were specially crafted to fit.

"Chris. He was a pain in the arse." She says with a laugh. I can see and hear the love she has for him.

"But in a good way. He was annoyingly funny. He had a very sarcastic sense of humor, not a lot of people got him, but I got him and him me. I was full of s**t, always in fighting mode. Always so serious. He changed that. He had a heart of gold. Never judged anybody. He was ambitious and a hard worker. The people he loved, he loved 110%.."

"He sounds like quite a guy. He must've been special for you to love him.. He was a lucky guy." I really mean it..

"No.. I was the lucky one.."

I hold her tighter, kiss her on her head.

"Sweet dreams, my Sweet."

God woman, I love you..

We both fall asleep.

My Sweet, safely in my arms.