Avenging You

Chapter 14

Parker

Ryan stares at me the majority of the drive home. I expected him to get into my head so we could talk privately, but he never did. At this point I’m just ready to get back to the bunker and back to my son.

We park the car away from the bunker and hide it and we have to walk a few miles back to the bunker. I’m speed walking and Ryan is the only one that tries to keep up with me. I glance over at him and feel myself getting annoyed that he is acting so weird around me. I wish things could just get back to normal.

I don’t know what makes me ask this I guess just from sheer desperation of trying to have a normal conversation with him. But I ask, “Have you dated anyone?”

His eyebrows raise high and he shakes his head, “No, no, no, the last girl I tried to date was Jade and that was just… enough. I didn’t want to try anymore after her. In a way I felt like I wasn’t honoring Bella, on top of that I realized any girl that didn’t grow up like we did would never understand the relationship I had with you.”

I nod in understanding and he asks, “What about you?”

I laugh humorlessly, “No, I can’t picture being with anyone other than Ashton and on top of that trying to date with a baby when you don’t trust anyone to watch it? Yeah, that doesn’t really work.”

Ryan chuckles, “Well, if you had been here you would’ve had people to watch the kid.”

I nod, “True, but I don’t think I would’ve dated even if I was here.”

“Why is that?”

I shrug, “The thought of moving on from him hurts.”

“I think after you try to once it makes it easier. After trying with Jade… I realized Bella would want me to be happy and the thought of moving forward was easier. I still haven’t done it, but it’s kind of hard to make happen with this s**t show we call a life.”

I chuckle at his comment and I say, “I don’t think I have much of an option. At least not until AJ is older. He already asks me about having a daddy if I ever went on a date with anyone, he would instantly think dad!”

Ryan cringes at the thought and asks softly making sure he was quiet enough that no one else would hear him, “How have you handled it without him?”

I stop walking and look towards him. I’m grateful for the normalcy of the questions, but no one has really asked me anything about how I’ve handled things without Ashton. They’ve just complimented on how well I’ve done with AJ.

Tom, Emma, Jasper, and Ava walk past us and towards the bunker which is now only a few yards away from us. I wait until they are out of ear shot and I sigh, “I’m not going to lie. It’s been really tough, and I don’t think I have handled it as well as I should have.”

“I’m sure you’ve done better than you think.” He tries to reassure me.

I chuckle and shake my head, “Ryan, if you knew everything I did you would think I was insane.”

He shrugs, “Too late for that. Why don’t you tell me about it?”

A part of me really wants to. I want to open up and trust him and be around him like we used to be, but with all our arguments lately I didn’t want him to have more ammunition against me. I shake my head no and say softly, “I’d rather not.”

I begin to walk away and I hear him say in frustration, “Damn it, Parker, I’m trying!”

I turn towards him surprised by his outburst and he says, “Open up! Please, let’s get back to the way we were. You were my best friend, Parker. Losing you killed me, and I’ve been keeping my walls up because I’ve been scared you would leave again. But you said you’re not so come on, let’s break down the walls and be close again.”

I look him up and down and his body language shows his desperation and I swear I can see a tear going down his face. I look up towards the sky and look back at him and say, “It takes time for us to get close again. It doesn’t happen instantaneously.”

“Let’s take that time, Parker, please. I want my best friend back.”

I bite my lower lip feeling nervous and say, “Tonight, once everyone’s asleep let’s come back out here and talk for a while. Right now, I just want to be with my son.”

He nods in agreement and I walk past him getting into the bunker. I’m surprised that he doesn’t follow me immediately.

Ryan

I watch as Parker leaves me and goes inside the bunker. She is driving me bonkers. I am trying. I am genuinely trying to be close with her but she’s keeping me at arm’s length, and it makes me want to scream.

I hear the sound of the hatch opening up and I turn towards the sound to see Skye coming out. She sits on the grass beside me and asks, “How did the trip go?”

“It was fine.” I grumble back to her.

“You were nice to Parker?”

I sigh, “Yes, I was nice to Parker.”

“Then why are you frustrated?”

I shake my head and change topics, “How was your time with AJ?”

She smiles softly, “I see what you’re doing so we’ll get back to you in a moment. It was really nice. He’s a fun kid.”

I nod, and she says, “You know… he really likes you.”

I chuckle, “He seems to really like everyone.”

“I think he’s enjoying the attention, but he especially likes you. He thinks you and Parker would be a good couple.”

If I had a drink, I would’ve just spit it out. I see Skye is watching my reaction intensely and I ask, “How did that even come up?”

She shrugs, “It doesn’t matter. What matters is what do you think about that?”

“I think the two of us can’t even stay in the same room for an extended period of time.”

Skye nods and I watch her face as she looks up at the clouds and tries to process what else she should say. She speaks without even looking at me, “You know, I think in a weird way you guys might be perfect for each other.”

I scoff and roll my eyes, “And how did you get to that conclusion?”

“If Bella was still here you would be with her. If Ashton was here Parker would be with him. You both have loved and lost and are now scared about being close to one another in case something happens. You both know that you aren’t each other’s number one choice, but you also know that there is no other person that is living that will make you as happy as you make one another.”

My face scrunches up in concentration as I try to figure out how I feel about what she said. I say, “You know for a teenager you sure seem to know a lot.”

She laughs, “Ryan, I know you. You’re like my brother, but you and Parker have always had a natural chemistry. Used to it was in a brother-sister/best friend relationship and right now it’s in an awkward stage, but I think it’s because you’re scared to get close again. You don’t want to mourn someone else again. And I see the way you look at her… you don’t look at her like a sister.”

With that Skye walks back to the bunker and leaves me to process everything on my own.

Could Parker and I actually be a couple? Do I even like her like that?

I’ve never allowed myself to view her in that light and I don’t know how I feel about it.