Office Matters

The Interview: Part One

Leon huffed and puffed and looked at his watch for the second time in a minute. He let out a loud groan.

“If you look at that watch one more time, I promise you, you’re going to go insane,” JJ said coolly not even looking up from his phone.  Leon stood up and started pacing.

JJ looked up from his phone, “Now you want to give me anxiety.”

“I just knew it was a bad idea letting him in on this. He’s compromising our success before we even begin. JJ remind me again why we’re even doing this with him?”

“Because he speaks money. Because he’s probably the best person to handle finances without having gone to school for it. Because h-..”

“Stop! I get it. But look at this, he’s not even here yet and his phone is switched off. This kind of behaviour…”

“…is unacceptable is the corporate world blah blah blah,” Nash finished Leon’s statement for him. “Calm your male t**s Leon. I said I’d be here and I’m here.”

“One hour late!” Leon said through gritted teeth. “Did you see that long line of people waiting to be interviewed on your way in? We’re going to be here an extra hour because you can’t seem to take this seriously enough to arrive on time,” Leon was yelling now.

“Shh shh shh,” Nash shushed Leon walking to him and rubbing him on the shoulders. “We don’t wanna scare the ladies by making them hear this little lovers’ quarrel.” He was smiling slyly now. “Don’t worry ‘bout that fam. If she ain’t pretty, then we don’t even waste our time interviewing her. And from the way I saw it when I was walking in, there aren’t a lot of prett-

“Alright that’s it,” Leon cut him off pushed him away from and lunged at him with balled fists, ready to knock him out.

JJ finally intervened and stood between the two. “Now now lovers, we don’t have time to be acting like this. Lets just get this interview going so we can be out of each other’s hair sooner than later. Go sit and I’ll go call the first interviewee.”

The two gave each other death stares and finally went to sit, leaving JJ the middle chair because they didn’t want to be next to each other. JJ walked in with a tall and slim girl behind him, dressed in a white mini skirt, bright yellow blouse and bright yellow stilettoes. You could tell that even underneath her makeup she was still pretty. The sexy type. Nash was looking at her approvingly. Leon saw this and shrugged.

JJ took his seat in the middle of the two and motioned for the girl to take a seat. The interview began.

“Please state your name, age and current occupation.”

“My name’s Amanda,” came her squeaky voice. “I just finished high school,” now she was playing with her hair and chewing gum they had not noticed she was chewing earlier. “And by age, do you mean how old I am now orrr what because I’m eighteen now but turning nineteen in like a month. So, yea.” Leon touched the bridge of his nose beneath his spectacles and looked down, letting out a sigh.

Nash cleared his throat, deciding to forgo the age question, “Please tell us a little about yourself,” he said.

“Well,” she began, her face lighting up as she did not even try to hide her excitement, “I love shopping. Both online and going to the mall. I also love travelling the world and fashion is like my natural talent. And in my spare time, which is most of the ti-,”

“Ummm,” Nash interrupted, “thank you, Miss..Amanda.”

“What are your professional strengths?” Leon asked.

She looked confused. “Oh. Sorry I don’t have those yet. I’ve never had to work my whole life,” she finished off with a smile.

JJ let out a low chuckle. “Thank you for your time Miss Amanda. Please fill in this contact form before you leave. And call in the next person on your way out,”

“Oh, pleasure darling. Don’t mention it,” she said cheerfully, reaching for the contact form.

“Sweetness,” she said, referring to Leon, “could I borrow your pen real quick?”

Leon just looked at her then passed her the pen.

When she was done, she sassily walked out.

“Darlings,” Nash started, mimicking Amanda’s voice, “is it going to be like this all day?”

“For the sake of our sanity, it better not,” JJ responded, letting out a sigh.

The next person walked in. She looked good as well but not as nice as Amanda.

The first part of the interview seemed to be going well until Leon asked, “How much do you know about Harrison and Partners?”

She hesitated before saying, “Quite a lot actually. Weren’t you guys in the top 5 most successful businesses in the country last year?”

The three guys looked at each other. Last year their company was not even registered, worse off functional.

“Please fill on the contact form before you leave and call the next person on your way out,” JJ said, sounding exhausted already

The rest of the interviews went almost similarly. They ranged from liars, to people who weren’t sure of what they were saying and not forgetting the shallow ones who just wouldn’t survive in the business world.

“If I have to go through something like this one more time, I vow I’m going to die,” Nash said, after an interviewee left. JJ exhaled and closed his eyes to check if he was still in sync with his sanity. “Looks like we still have one more,” Leon said, sounding exhausted.

Nash and JJ looked up.

The guys saw someone with two fluffy pig tails peek through the door before walking in. Nash was taken aback. The hell was this girl wearing? “JJ, please tell me those aren’t trainers she’s wearing,” Nash whispered to JJ, sounding like he was about to cry. “It’s not just trainers, Nash. It’s trainers and rolled up boyfriend jeans with an oversized t-shirt,” JJ whispered to back.

“This one tryna kill us before she even opens her mouth.”