Chapter OneNathan Flynn stared at the square, blue jewelry box in his palm. He had never held one before. Never could afford one. The bustle of the lunch crowd in the deli, the clatter of dishes in the back, the rumble of New York City traffic outside — all of it silenced in Nathan’s ears. He only heard the blood pumping through his body. He only saw that small, square box.
A single drop of sweat rolled down the side of his face and dripped on his cheap suit. Despite the late-Spring heat, he knew the real reason for his perspiration — the suit was the most expensive thing he owned other than the ring inside that box. He was crazy to think that Jennie would agree to marry him. Why would she want a lowly intern serving one court summons after another for a husband?
A manicured hand swiped the box. “Is this it?” Charlie thumped down in the seat across from Nathan, the tiny table barely able to hold two plates and glasses, and he flipped open the box. “Not bad. A bit small, but I doubt Jennie will care. Probably.”
Nathan snatched back the ring box and stuffed it in his pocket. “Nobody’s asking you.”
“Hey, relax. I’m on your side. Jennie’s a great catch. Far better than you deserve.”
“Don’t I know it.”
Charlie grinned. “Am I sensing some doubt?” He had a face that put people at ease and a voice that gained their confidence. He was going to be a great lawyer.
“Not from me. I’m doing this. But I don’t know what she’s going to say. I mean usually you know, right? Usually, you’ve been a couple so long that the asking is just a formality.”
“You guys have been together for over a year. You’ve got to know. How could you not?”
Nathan only offered a shrug in response. A gruff voice called out Charlie and Nathan’s co-worker dashed off to grab his food. He returned with a corned-beef sandwich, the meat piled high like a pink mountain between two pieces of rye bread.
“You’re not thinking this through,” Charlie said while he squirted mustard on his food. “Look, in a few months, this crappy job will be done, and you and I are going to be delving deeper into law school. Another year and we’ll be lawyers. Our ability to read people is essential to our success — especially if you want to be a defense attorney. And I know you’re good at reading people. I’ve seen you do it before. I mean, take a look around here. What do you see?”
Happy for the distraction, even if only momentary, Nathan nodded toward a woman in a suit, juggling a cell phone, briefcase, and tablet. “She’s a lawyer. Probably not very good.”
“Why do you say that?”
“The mess of papers sticking out of her briefcase, the haggard look on her face, and the stain on her blouse. She has a dazed way of moving like she isn’t quite sure how she got to this deli and should she order first or make that call on her cell or grab a table.”
“Okay. What about Ramrod in the corner?”
A lone man sat straight and stiff with a laptop opened and a half-eaten sandwich behind it. He wore gray slacks and a simple, white shirt with a gray tie. No jacket.
Nathan said, “Ramrod’s waiting for something important. An email, perhaps. Maybe he’s watching the stock market and has a lot riding on it. See the way his hands are resting on the keyboard? There’s a slight tremor in his fingers. He’s nervous and ready to pounce whenever the information arrives.”
“I’m with you on that one. How about them?”
An old couple sat in the back near the narrow restroom door. “They’re in love,” Nathan said. “Look at how they watch each other, the way they share their fries, and the way they haven’t stopped holding hands across the table. Their wedding rings look like they’ve been on those fingers a long time.”
Charlie spread his hands apart. “I rest my case. You know exactly how to read people. So, you think about Jennie. Think about all she has said and done since you’ve known her. You picture that woman’s smiling face as you bend down on one knee and pop the question. What’s she say?”
Nathan closed his eyes. He imagined the exact scene. Then he shook his head. “I want to believe she’ll say yes, but —”
“You’re killing me. Of course, she’s going to say yes, so stop all your whining. Jeez, I don’t even know why you’d want to get married. The whole idea is ridiculous.”
“Not everybody wants to be an eternal bachelor.”
“I’m not saying you can’t be committed to one person for the rest of your life, but what’s the real use of an actual marriage? You make it legal and all it does is turn loving people into enemies.”
Nathan had heard this before. Railing against the marriage institution had become a favorite pastime for Charlie. The closer Nathan came to actually proposing, the more Charlie lectured. Usually, Nathan debated the topic — not because he expected to change Charlie’s mind, but they both considered such debates as practice for their legal professions. Plus, he enjoyed stumping Charlie now and then.
But as Charlie started building steam, Nathan’s attention pulled toward the front door. A striking man had entered the deli. He had a battle-scarred but handsome face, close-cropped dark hair, and though he wasn’t a large man, he moved with the confidence of a capable fighter. His clothing looked casual, but something about him struck Nathan as far from casual. He stood at the counter staring at the menu. He kept his hands loose at his side as if ready to move at any moment. Whatever his purpose in being at the deli, he wasn’t going to order food. Confirming his gut intuition, Nathan caught the lone man sitting by the computer watching this confident newcomer with intense interest.
Charlie snapped his fingers in front of Nathan’s face. “C’mon, man, I can’t have an argument alone. Tell me what good marriage is. Anything to dispute my assertion.”
“Sorry,” Nathan said.
“Don’t be sorry. Just explain why marriage is so important? Heck, not even as a worldwide institution, but why are you bothering with it?”
“I want kids.”
“What? Since when?”
“Since always.”
The man at the counter stepped aside to let a young woman and her daughter order. He looked like nothing more than another customer. He blended in well and nobody else but Nathan had noticed him. Except Ramrod with his laptop. He continued to observe the man just as Nathan did.
“Hey,” the gruff-voiced man behind the counter said. “You gonna order anything or you gonna keep standin’ in the way?”
The man leveled a cold look. “You got a restroom?”
Gruff Voice jutted a chin at the back. The man nodded and walked straight past Nathan to enter the restroom.
Charlie took a big bite of his sandwich. Speaking around his food, he said, “Okay, fine, you want kids, but you don’t have to be married to have them.”
“I want to be able to continue my name.” Nathan glanced over his shoulder at the restroom door. “If I’m not married, that could become a fight. Also, a married mother and father create security for a child. It knows the parents are here to stay.”
Charlie’s eyebrows screwed downward. “This got anything to do with your brothers having kids? You trying to win Daddy’s favor or something?”
“I think being a lawyer will do more for me than throwing grandkids at my dad. No, this is for me. I mean keeping the family name alive is important, but both of my brothers have that covered. If I have a kid though, I can give him my name.”
“Because the world needs more Nathans around?”
“What’s wrong with the name Nathan?”
The lone man with the laptop stood, his chair scraping the tiled floor. He lacked all the skill of blending in that the other man had displayed as he rigidly walked toward the restroom. He even left his laptop sitting on the table — practically a guarantee that it would be stolen.
“Oh, I get it,” Charlie said. “Kind of immortality. What if it’s a girl?”
“Then I’ll give her my mother’s name.”
That stopped Charlie for a moment. Nathan’s mother had died when he was eight. His father had to raise three boys and never dated again. The Flynn boys revered their mother, and Charlie showed his respect by not pushing further on the subject of names.
But that didn’t put the overall topic to rest. “Let me say this,” Charlie went on. “If your purpose in getting married is so that you can have a child or two or ten and have them know stability and have them carry on your name, then why get married now? Are you really going to try to start a family while you’re in law school? That’s insane.”
“Plenty of people do it.”
“Yeah, but not all of them do it by choice. You are actively planning to burden yourself with immense debt, lack of sleep, constant demands, and an overload of work — and that’s just law school. You want to add a baby to that?”
Two dull snaps cut through the din of lunching noise. Every person in the deli froze. Conversations halted. Eyes widened as diners searched each other for answers. Nobody dared say what they all thought made those sounds. Only the gurgle of the deep fryer could be heard.
Nathan’s heart thrummed in his chest. From the side, he saw the little girl peek upward at her stunned mother. Before he could comprehend his actions, Nathan bolted over to the counter, scooped up the startled girl, and handed her to the mother.
“Get out of here,” he said.
Her eyes darted between him and the restroom door. She nodded.
Nathan’s mouth went dry as he turned his head toward the restroom. The door slammed open and all in the deli gasped. The confident man stumbled out, blood splattered on his face and more blood dribbling from two holes in his chest.
Chaos erupted.
Gruff Voice manically shouted for calm while people screamed. The mother carrying her daughter managed to get out the front door before the mass exodus clogged the way. Tables and chairs fell to the floor.
The bleeding man crawled toward Nathan, locking eyes with him, reaching out toward him. Nathan wanted to help, but he couldn’t move — he saw Ramrod standing in the restroom, watching the madness, a handgun with a silencer dangling in his hand.
Charlie sat still. He held his overblown sandwich in one hand, bits of meat dropping into his lap.
Nathan heard the frightened crowd break through its bottleneck behind him. As the last of the screaming people ran off, the lone man stepped out of the restroom. He pointed his weapon at the bleeding man and shot once more. Then he walked past Nathan and out the front door, his gait more rigid than before.
An unearthly quiet descended upon the deli. Though Nathan knew a crowd had formed outside, no sounds from them penetrated inside. He felt as if a thick towel had been wrapped around his head, covering his ears, muting the world.
Gruff Voice stepped from behind the counter. He glanced down at the dead man and shook his head. “This is gonna ruin my business.”
Before Nathan could express shock at the comment, the dead man coughed and lifted a hand. Gruff Voice shrieked, jumped back, and fell over a chair. Charlie startled and his sandwich hit the floor.
Nathan snapped his fingers at Charlie. “Call 9-1-1. This guy is still alive.” To Gruff Voice, he said, “You go outside, see if you can find a cop.”
He dropped to his knees, ignoring the blood soaking into his only good pair of slacks, and turned the not-so-dead man over. The man’s eyes rolled up but a smack on the cheek brought him back.
“Help is on the way,” Nathan said. “Hang in there.”
The man’s hand shot out, latching onto Nathan’s shoulder with surprising strength. He pulled Nathan close in. Part of Nathan resisted — whatever this guy wanted to say, it couldn’t be any good. But part of Nathan thought nobody deserved to die without being able to utter some final words.
He turned his head to the side in order to hear well. But the man locked his fingers on Nathan’s jaw and turned his head back. He stared at Nathan with his dark, vibrant hazel eyes. Nathan thought it strange that a dying man should look so alive in the eyes.
The man opened his mouth, blood strung between his lips, and said, “Sorry.”
Nathan felt pressure on the side of his neck. He glanced to the side and saw blood spraying out. The dying man held a knife covered in the dark crimson that continued to shower across the deli floor.
“Is that my blood?” Nathan asked.
The man wrenched Nathan close, pressing their foreheads together, and stared into his eyes. Nathan stared back. His mind raced to comprehend what was happening, but no answers arrived.
And those eyes.
They filled and swirled and dazzled with flecks of green and gold and brown like a kaleidoscope. More than that, Nathan thought the colors widened, grew around him, enveloped him in their wonder. He could fall into them. It would be easy. And a good thing. His brain told him how wonderful the world would be inside those eyes.
He dived inward. He had no clue how he had done it; he simply slipped forward and felt his body drift down into the eyes. Until the colors left him.
And nothing remained but darkness.