Lost and Found

Fifteen

After Bre had returned to them, she gave both patients a thorough check. Enough time had passed that the tests she’d run on Zane’s condition had come back totally clear. The doctor couldn’t explain the unexpected turnaround. In fact, Bre was downright baffled by everything.

Neither Bre nor Leo nor the other two ladies who had fallen unconscious could recall what happened. They were doing their job one moment and then waking up the next. There were too many unexplained circumstances to simply be coincidences. Tessa felt the unanswered questions swirling around her, and it made her uncomfortable. She briefly wondered how much longer Zane would tolerate her before kicking her out in the hopes of having things return to a semblance of normalcy.

Bad luck seemed to follow her since her eighteenth birthday, and Tessa couldn’t shake off the feeling that someone in her new circle would end up hurt because of her. People around her were constantly in danger, and she took it personally. If she hadn’t been involved, they never would have been targeted.

Tessa now found herself in the room she had been assigned by Zane the previous day that she hadn’t been able to use due to her stays in the hospital. It was simple, but cozy. There was a queen-sized bed in the middle of the back wall. Two doors to the right of the door led her to the bathroom and small, walk-in closet. To the left, a small desk and chair sat next to a dresser and floor lamp. There was a window above the bed and a window over the dresser, which let in a good amount of light. She could see the tree line that she had run to from the window on the right and the tips of the mountains from the window in front of her.

She sighed and sank into the mattress. Her mind was reeling but felt blank all at once. Tessa couldn’t focus on any one thought and it would slip just out of reach. How could she continue forward? What path was she on? Why did it feel as though her life was spinning out of control with each passing second?

A soft knock snapped her out of her reverie.

“Yes?” she called out.

Leo poked his head around the door and grinned at her. “Oh good, I caught you.”

She frowned. “Caught me?”

“Yeah, I assumed you’d be showering or something. I don’t know what women do in their spare time, but I just kind of thought you’d be feeling gross and would want to wash the hospital smell off. I mean, I would want to, but maybe you like it? Even though that seems kind of weird to me…” he trailed off and rubbed the back of his head with his hand nervously.

Tessa couldn’t help but let out a small giggle. “Do you talk a lot when you’re apprehensive about something?”

He shrugged. “Maybe. May I come in?”

She nodded and watched him walk in and approach her gently.

“You clearly have something to say, so you might as well just get it over with. You know that saying about the band-aid, right?”

“You’re mighty perceptive, you know that?” Leo said with a smile.

Without thinking, Tessa replied, “Well, when you’re trapped in a cell for long periods of time, you start to notice things, anything really, that could be helpful or new or to alleviate boredom. You get creative when you have nothing but time to study your surroundings.”

He balked. “I’m so sorry. That was so insensitive of me. I didn’t even think. I’m such a dunce.”

She offered him a soft smile. “It’s alright. It isn’t normal to suspect someone else of having such a background. I know you didn’t have any malice in your words. You can just tell me what it is you need to say.”

“You’re right. So, here goes,” Leo said, scratching his chin to buy himself time. “Alpha doesn't think it’s wise to bring you along for the expedition anymore.”

Tessa nodded once. “Yeah, I figured this was coming. I’m a liability; a walking time-bomb of mystery, and anything can happen around me. He probably feels like he can’t trust me or that I’ll try something. I get it. I’m used to it. Trust is a hard commodity to come by when you’ve lived my life.”

Leo was at a loss for words. She had accepted it so easily, not even putting up a fight. She had accepted her fate, as if she had expected it. It was as though she knew her time was running out and that Alpha Zane’s tolerance for her would end soon. He had thought she would argue or fight against the decision. Instead, she sat there, looking at her hands, her face completely void of emotion. Though, the longer he stared, the more he thought he saw sadness rather than nothing at all.

Had she been hoping for a different outcome? Had she–

“Leo?” she asked, cutting off his thoughts.

“Yes?”

“Was that all?”

He nodded.

“Then you can go. No need to stay here and try to justify the decision or make me feel better or pity me. I’m fine. And, I’m sure you have things to do anyway.”

He opened his mouth to refute her, but the look in her eyes told him that nothing he could say would matter. Instead, he patted her on the shoulder, stood, and walked out of the room, closing the door behind him.

Tessa felt the tears threatening to escape and pressed her nails into the palms of her hands. There would be no tears shed over something inevitable. Nowhere wanted her. No one wanted her. How could she think this place would be any different? Sure, all of two people had been kind to her, but that didn’t mean that she would be trusted, especially after what took place. In fact, she was surprised she had lasted as long as she had.

Zane cared about his sister. He did not care about some stranger that happened to show up. He got the information he wanted from her, and now, he’d throw her away. People were the same; it was just the location that changed. She didn’t even have any anger towards him for making such a decision. He was being smart. She was a serious threat, and everyone knew it.

Hopping off the bed, Tessa decided that before she got kicked out, she might as well shower and use the amenities at her disposal while she had them.

She quickly got undressed and stepped into the large shower area, and after fiddling with more knobs than she thought were necessary, she let out a moan of appreciation as the hot water hit her body. She couldn’t remember the last time she had had a hot shower. Or a shower at all. It was glorious. Time passed in a vortex, and as soon as she shut off the water after using the fancy soaps available to her, she already missed it. With all the thoughts running amuck in her head, Tessa wasn’t sure when she would get the next hot shower, and so she savored every moment.

Toweling herself dry, she found clothes in the dresser and drawers with the tags still on. She had an internal fight in her head about whether she should rip the tags off and wear the clothes or just hang around in Leo’s shirt she’d been wearing. She felt awkward with both decisions, so she chose to feign ignorance about the tags and ripped them off.

Once dressed, she couldn’t lie that she felt better. Even her mind seemed to calm down, but one thought continued to circulate: run. Since she wasn’t trusted, it made sense that she should flee. She didn’t belong there. She didn’t belong anywhere. Not even her own–

Closing her eyes, she forced herself to not even finish the thought. She swallowed once, and then twice before reopening her eyes. If she went down that path, she truly would spiral totally out of control, and she could not afford to cause any more damage than she already had.

The best thing for her to do would be to leave before she was kicked out. Perhaps when Zane and the others left for their trip to find Lara.

Her heart ached when she thought of her friend. They had been there for one another in a way she’d never experienced before. Lara had put her life on the line for her more than once, and she hoped that her friend was safe and sound. She wanted to find Lara and for Zane to take her with him so that she could see the other with her own eyes, but a part of her knew that the world wouldn’t give her such a luxury.

Her life was a joke. Tessa pressed her nails into her palms again.

No tears.

Not here. Not now.

She couldn’t afford to give into her weak emotions. She needed to be strong. If she was going to continue living, which is what she promised Lara, then she needed to keep her resolve. Tessa had to focus on finding her. She would make that woman pay for what she did to her, and she would spend the rest of her life attaining her revenge if necessary. She needed to live if she was going to get a taste of the vengeance that was owed to her.

Walking back into the bathroom, Tessa looked at herself in the mirror. The woman who stared back deserved more. Deserved better. She would no longer accept this downtrodden life. She saw the little girl she used to be, who was carefree and happy-go-lucky. She wanted so desperately to give that little girl happiness. If anyone deserved it, it would be that optimistic, naive child.

Blood smudged her fingertips as she pressed her nails deeper into her palms.