Phoenix rising

Cold feet

*****Kayla*****

This would be the last time I would have my chambers all to myself... 

The thought hit me like a freight train in the middle of all these nuns buzzing around me. They were trying to make me look appropriate for the occasion. A once in... well... the last time a Night King married was about 350 years ago when Wrath married Victoria. They've spent half a century together...

However, Victoria wasn't his first wife and apparently, not the last either. To think I was to marry the man of the woman which pretty much raised my father into the man he turned out to be was... Well, something to chew on. Something I didn't particularly enjoyed mulling over. Still, it was better than facing the reality of all these people knowing my inner most darkest secrets.

I may had been covered from head to toe on that stone altar, but I've never felt more naked or violated in my entire life. I knew what to expect, naturally, I've warned before, but I didn't imagine it would feel this way. I honestly believed I'll just have to see it all over again, just as I do every night in my nightmares, or every time I lay my guard down and let the memories flush all over me. I haven't for a single second thought I'll have to relive every second of it as if it happened then and there!

Feeling raw, completely exposed and humiliated beyond belief was an understatement. So, I did what I always do. I just shut it all out. Numb, and out of place, is what I felt. Part of me growing to hate my father once more for not going through with his plan of stripping me of my magic. The other part loathing myself for considering the alternative. 

Indeed, having your magic... me... stripped from you would be much easier, the Phoenix got tired of keeping quiet, of allowing me to deal with my own bleeding wounds.

You sound as if you want me to take that road, I answered my magic while looking in the mirror. I saw the Phoenix, just as I saw my reflection in the Goddess's Garden. Only this time, the Phoenix looked like a halo around my real reflection. How funny it was to see the ghost of a warrior under the guise of a human shell dressed as a Moon bride.

Love, if anyone earned the right to a peaceful life, its you, the Phoenix answered making no pretence of a subterfuge. I will not protest your choice, Kay. I will ask for it myself to the Moon Goddess if that's your wish, but you should be aware of something...

I'm aware of it, Phoenix. I cannot take the path of a Human any longer. I haven't been able to take it for a long while now. We're too bonded for that to happen. If I renounce you or if you renounce me, I will die and the magic of the Phoenix, your magic would be forever lost to the nightdweller race. If I make this choice, Phoenix, I would strip our race from the greatest weapon in our arsenal... You.

The Phoenix went silent, but I could feel my magic hugging me, giving me courage, making me stronger.  I didn't want to be strong now. For once in my life, I didn't want the strength... I wanted my mother's gentle words of encouragement. I wanted my brothers' mischievous ways of cheering me up and damn it all to hell, I wanted father's protection!  

"Leader Kayla! You shouldn't cry! You're ruining your makeup!" one of the nuns cried out, but I couldn't care less of it.

"Don't!" I snapped when she hurried to wipe it off. "Get off me!" I raged at them "All of you!" I didn't want any of them around me anymore!

My magic flared up at a blink's notice. The windows blowing open, hot air rushed in and the lights in the room got brighter and brighter! Good thing no one had an open flame anywhere around, or this would've turned into a bloody inferno. One I couldn't be exactly held accountable for!

"Leave her be!" Mage Goa boomed at her nuns "Get out, all of you. Let's give our new Queen some space and time to breathe." she added in a rather commanding tone. One I didn't expect her to have... not at my expense, at least. Goa never actually liked me... Not really. This woman acted stranger and stranger as of late.

"I can probably delay the ceremony for an hour, your highness." Mage Goa apologized to me with that guilty tone of hers as the room was cleared by her possy.

"I'm not crowned yet." I had to point that out. I still had some time left as the Warrior Coven Leader. People better not take that away from me. I still had a month of being me!

"You may not be crowned, Kayla, but you are the Queen which I want for our people." Goa managed to baffle me to my very core. The hell did she meant by that?!

"You don't like me Goa. You always called me too wild, too unlady like! I still don't have any manners and I'm still just as outspoken as I've always been. Just because I'm about to marry the King, doesn't mean I'll change my character altogether!" I had to point that out. Granted, I didn't had to shout at her while at it, but then again, I was stressed out and not that willing to go through with it after all.

"It is true..." the woman didn't seem to want to hide anything from me. Her eyes looked at me directly, bereft of any walls or defences she always had against me. "...I did believe you to be too wild, too rebellious and not really worthy of carrying your father's mantle.  I will never pretend otherwise, I had done so and if you wish to punish me for it, I shall accept my punishment as it will be justified.

"However, as I've told you previously. I've misjudged you, Kayla. I'm afraid I've never considered all that you had to face and the world in which you've been casted to face all on your own. And yet, despite everything going against you, Kayla, you've managed to become the Leader of a rebellious Coven which you've raised to be the strongest, richest and most populated of them all.

"You've proved yourself as the protector of our race, as the Phoenix's sacred duty truly is. You've defended us all fairly, despite the discrimination you've faced from all. You had to work harder than all of us to get where you are.

"I've doubted the Goddess's Will to have you marry the King, Her son, but then I realized how wrong I've been. These are times in which we need a strong King and Queen defending us all! 

"Considering this and the appalling in which I've treated you before, your highness, I will not insist on us having a peaceful coexistence. I will not stay at Court, as my duty as the Mage dictates, I will depart out of my own free will and resign from my position. Violet would make a good Mage under your tutelage." she added giving me the shock of my life. Now this was not something I expected.

"Goa, don't get me wrong, your attitude was shitty and f****d up, but you're the best Mage we've had. You've kept those women safe. Hell, Goa, you've kept all women of our race safe! They come to you or they come to me. I will never accept your resignation, not when it's my expense.

"As for you staying at Court, by my side, as if your duty, to be honest, I'll much rather have your wisdom and knowledge of the people in my ears than Jane's vain attempts at manipulating me into doing her bidding. So, please, stay. The Court needs someone like you around." I wasn't f*****g around. 

She may be an insufferable pain in the ass, but at least she thought of the people first. Also, while she may have some antiquated ways of thinking and doing things, she was progressive enough to advocate women's rights. We needed her influence. We... Wrath needed Goa by his side. She had the popular vote. She held the faith. I had the army and the finances. Well, Blackfire would soon have them, but the Warrior Coven was loyal to me, always. Not having her by our side, as our ally, while making these drastic changes would lead to too much bloodshed.

"Thank you, your highness." Goa had tears in her eyes as she bowed her head in respect "Now I shall take my leave if you'll permit it." she added and I just couldn't believe how... obedient she was or earnest in her actions. This... safe to say, this didn't happen to me too often, so I nodded and she left...

"Goa, wait..." I called out before she closed the door behind her "Do you still think I'm shaming my father's memory?" I hated being so vulnerable, but she was bound to the truth, that was her faith. She looked at me surprised.

"No, your highness, if anything I believe your father, mother and brothers are very proud to see you here today and all you've achieved. I strongly believe that like me, they are growing restless to see how much would you and the King achieve for us from now on." she looked as if she was encouraging.

"You know the King better than me, Goa..." I said turning to face her "Tell me, what should I expect?"

"A man which honor his vows. Worry not, child, his majesty would never dishonor the woman he chooses as his wife. If anything, he would spoil you rotten." she had a very kind smile on her face.

I turned not sure if I should believe her words. I mean, the Mage would stay by the Queen's side, acting as a Lady of the Court, the Queen's Advisor. That was the Mage's role. Goa already served 6 Queens and she knew the King better than anyone. The Faith and the Crown would dance together in the nightdweller race. At least it has always been that way, except when the King vanished for three centuries. It didn't mean Goa lost the people's faith or loyalty for that matter.

Then again, she could be misjudging the situation. After all, she wasn't exactly sleeping in the Royal Chambers or being around the Royal Couple at all times. She was there, yes, all the damn time, but the Royal Couple had moments of the day in which they were just a family like any other. Living and being together, alone, away from the Court and the royal duties.

What if the previous Queens played a role? Or maybe they didn't, maybe they really loved the King and the King truly cared or loved them, as my father told me in his stories. Let's assume they weren't lying or putting up a front. Even then, neither of those women were like me. They were obedient. It was their dream to serve under the King, to bed him and bear his children. Granted, he hadn't much been lucky in that aspect... Weirdly enough, all his wives died of old age or some tragic event. He had some children long, long ago, but they've died of old age, taking after their mothers.

How could I ask for a real marriage, like my parents had? This was a political marriage. An alliance. An insurance policy. It was a trade for f**k's sake! One I proposed myself... 

I walked to the open windows and looked at the courtyard now prepared for the wedding ceremony about to take place. The people were already gathering there, buzzing around. Happy sounds, festive... But, all I could think about was a way to escape this damned thing I've gotten myself into. How the hell could've I ever thought I would be able to make it? I was no Queen! Me baring a child?! The hell do I know about keeping a family together?! Or making a man love me for that matter?! I can kill Demons! I can go to war! I can hunt! I can strike a good deal! Family... love...

Love... do I even dare to ask for it? Would it even be possible? Dare I hope for at least half of what my parents had? Hell, I'll happy if I manage to get to some honorable arraignment with Wrath. One which won't bother me or him to live with for the rest of our lives. I needed to think about this. How could possibly convince the King he doesn't need an heir now? How can I buy myself more time? 

And... do I really want to spend eternity next to man in a loveless marriage?

*****Wrath*****

There he was, at the altar once again, facing Goa for the 7th time... How many times would he have to do this? After Victoria, he vowed he never would. Before Victoria, he knew he didn't much want to live his life without a partner. Life had no flavour, no meaning to it without someone to share it with. He had always trusted the Goddess, his Mother with bringing him a proper Mate for him and for his people.

Why was he doubting the Moon Goddess now?

Victoria... that's why. And Seether... Truth be told, both of them weighted heavily on his heart, more heavily than the race, than the faith or their fate in front of the Demon scourge once more. Victoria took a part of him with her passing, her sacrifice. Seether's death, only accentuated the need to protect his only child.

Torn apart between honoring his vows in never taking another wife, much less a Mate, and the debt he had for the one man which managed to become as much his own family, his own child and his own brother as he was Victoria's. He knew marrying Kayla was the best way to protect her. He had known it from the very beginning. However, her being his second chance Mate... now this complicated things a bit too much.

He couldn't fight or oppose the bond much longer. The Race couldn't take the instability much longer, or their Goddess;s dismay on his actions. After seeing Kayla's life and motivations, her drives... he would have to become the lowest scum in denying her a good future.

Damn it all to Hell! Why did he had to be her Mate?! Why couldn't any other man fill that role?! 

Probably because she was a Queen of her own making... deserving only a King to Mate with her. Gritting his teeth, he realized now that his mother wasn't honoring him with the bond, but her. He should do well and honor his mother's trade if he ever hoped to gain her favor. They needed her favor... now more than ever. Without his mother, he doubted they could defeat the Demons once more.

"I, Wrath, son of the Moon Goddess and Night King of the nightdweller race, vow to take you, Kayla Phoenix, daughter of Archduke Seether Phoenix, Demon Hunter and Leader of the Warrior Coven, as my wife, to love and to hold through sickness and health, from this day forth until the night I breathe my last." he vowed his oath to his new wife and Mate...

He looked at her, for the first time tonight as he spoke his oath. He couldn't much see her from under that deep red veil of hers. How many women had wore this red before her? How many would follow? Why couldn't he just enjoy this moment? Hadn't he learnt by now to enjoy the present moment for it was the only time he would have it?

"I, Kayla Phoenix, daughter of Archduke Seether, and Leader of the Warrior Coven, vow to take you, Wrath, son of the Moon Goddess, mother of us all and Night King of the nightdweller race as my husband, to..." her voice cracked a bit as she drew a steadying breath before she raised her head up in his direction. He could see her violet eyes shining a bit under that veil, just a bit, a glint... What was she thinking? He was so tempted to hear her thoughts... Why shouldn't he? They'll soon be bonded either way.

Can I really love him? Can I actually make that vow? I don't want any kids! These questions he heard first, along with that frightened tone of her nearing desperation f**k me... I should've just taken off while I had that chance. What the hell am I doing getting married?! I can hunt Demons! I can wage wars! I'm a warlock for the love of the Goddess, I'm no wife! How the hell can I love anyone I have to obey above all else?! If I pretend to faint now would anyone believe it? Crap... I'm so out of my league here... Where's a Demon attack when you need it?! They never f*****g attack when you want them to, do they?!

Wrath had to contain his laughter. At least they were on the same page. He would explain it to her later, why this marriage was vital for their race, but for now... He squeezed that cold hand of hers in his just a little as he smiled at her confidently, hoping she'll draw some strength from him.

What is he doing?! Her mind just stopped at that question.

"Kayla..." Mage Goa whispered as the crowd got restless not knowing what prevented Kayla's Oath from being made. Kayla heard her, but she panicked even more and Wrath could already feel the Phoenix close to blowing up its magic just to protect her from it all.

"Not now, Goa." Wrath whispered as he didn't break eye contact with his Mate "Kayla, if you don't wish to make that vow, you can change it or we can do this later. However, the people need this marriage. If you don't want it, if you changed your mind, it's alright. We would figure out another way." he went on whispering having a feeling she should hear his thoughts from him. He meant every word of it. If time is what she needed, she would have it. If she refused him, he would probably through a party and mourn at the same time. Their race would be in deep s**t, but at least she wouldn't be forced to do something she didn't exactly chose for herself, but for the safety of her Coven.

No! He heard her thoughts louder than ever covering the doubts and panic. I made this choice. I made it for my people and I made it for my race! The Goddess loves her Mate Bonds. If I'm to refuse the Bond, Her wrath would be upon what I love most. My Coven would crumble and the Race would be left with no protection against those bastards. One way or the other I'm winning this war. This the Oath I've made long ago. If it means having to... marry an utter and complete stranger for it, then so be it. f**k it! If this marriage goes south, I at least retain a sway over my Coven. Either way, I win tonight...

She wasn't much convinced of that last part, but he had to admit, he liked the way she thought. He admired the warrior in her. This strength of hers, this determination was exactly what the race needed in the war to come.

"... have and to hold, to honor, in sickness and health until the last breath leaves my lungs." she finished her Oath. "I vow to serve the best interests of our race, your majesty." she added on a hushed tone as Goa sighed deeply, while the crowd didn't much notice her lack of love in the vow. 

Well, no matter, Wrath thought! They had an eternity to find each other. She was smart, he'll give her that.

"You may kiss the bride and seal the Oath of Marriage!" Goa announced and the crowds were much too excited to see this part. It's what they came here for.

Wrath took off her veil and he knew that instant, as the itching, clawing and gnawing of the magic within him begun with a bang that they would find each other much faster than any of them would be comfortable or prepared for. She was impossibly beautiful tonight! The nuns did a good job, too good a job, as always. 

A king serves his people, he reminded himself keeping his darkest impulses under wraps as he leaned in towards his new beautiful bride.

"You better, Kayla, you are their Queen now." he answered her challenging second Oath if only to stirr the fire in her more than it already was. However when he noticed her stricken wide eyes filled with surprise he regretted the challenge.

"I'm not crowned yet." she insisted as if that was her last lifeline, so he wondered, which of them was more inclined to fight for their freedom tooth and nail.

Goa cleared her throat as a sign for them to actually kiss and well, Wrath didn't deny himself any longer. He took her lips for the first time, his magic acting up as her scent filled his lungs. The bond between them was so strong that in that instant the center of his universe became her! Such intensity the feeling had, it had taken a hold of all of him! 

He had always doubted the strength of the Mate Bond. He had Victoria, but he had never felt like this... How could this be?! His brain, these thoughts, were all but dissolved as they were replaced with thoughts of desire for her, for Kayla. Mine! MINE!

His hand brought her closer as he felt her body tense at first, but then relax in his hold. Her thoughts merging with his and much like him, as much as she was surprised by the sheer force of the bond, nature took over and there they were... just man and woman facing each other baffled. The rest of the world no longer around them.

"The Oath is made! Behold Nightdweller Race, our new Royal Couple!" Goa's voice boomed in every corner as it brought them back to their reality.

What the f**k was that, Kayla's thoughts came as his and well... the page didn't change. He was wondering the same. This couldn't be normal...