...But God said So

Chapter 6: I Know Her

Joshua stared at the ceiling.

The darkness in his room seemed heavier than usual.

He turned to his side.

Then to the other.

Then onto his back again.

Sleep refused to come.

With a frustrated sigh, he reached for his phone.

2:47 a.m.

"Again?" he muttered.

For weeks now, this had become his reality.

The moment his head touched the pillow, a face appeared in his mind.

A face he barely knew.

A face he had seen only once.

That Sunday.

He could still remember it clearly.

He had been preaching, moving passionately through his sermon, when his eyes landed on a young woman seated quietly among the congregation.

For a brief moment, everything around him faded.

Not because she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

There was just something about her.

Something he couldn't explain.

Something that lingered.

That same night, he had dreamt about her.

And ever since then, he had not been able to get her out of his mind.

Joshua sat upright.

"This is nonsense."

He rubbed his face.

"What kind of grown man loses sleep over a woman he doesn't even know?"

He laughed, but there was no humour in it.

He had never spoken to her.

Never learned her name.

Never seen her again.

Yet somehow, she remained.

Every prayer.

Every quiet moment.

Every sleepless night.

He got out of bed and walked slowly across the room.

The moonlight spilled across the floor.

His Bible sat on the small table beside his bed.

He picked it up and held it against his chest.

"Lord," he whispered, "I need Your help."

A few moments later, he was on his knees.

The room became a sanctuary.

No congregation.

No microphone.

No audience.

Just a man and his God.

Joshua bowed his head.

"Father, You know me."

His voice trembled.

"You know I don't chase feelings."

"You know I don't build my life on dreams."

"You know I don't want to mistake my desires for Your voice."

Silence.

He continued.

"But I can't explain this."

His eyes filled with tears.

"I saw her once."

"Just once."

"And I can't get her out of my mind."

He swallowed hard.

"If this is my flesh, take it away."

"If it's distraction, remove it."

"If it's not from You, let it die."

His voice became softer.

"But if You're in this..."

The words caught in his throat.

Because he wasn't sure he wanted the answer.

Joshua lowered his forehead to the floor.

"Speak, Lord."

The prayer left his lips like surrender.

Not a request.

Not a demand.

A surrender.

The room grew quiet.

Minutes passed.

Perhaps an hour.

Joshua didn't know.

Somewhere between prayer and exhaustion, sleep overtook him.

Then came the vision.

Joshua found himself standing in a place unlike anything he had ever seen.

There was no earth beneath him.

No horizon.

No stars.

Only light.

Pure, endless light.

It surrounded him.

Not blinding.

Not burning.

Holy.

Joshua immediately fell to his knees.

Every fibre of his being recognized the presence before him.

This was no ordinary dream.

His heart trembled.

His spirit bowed.

Then a voice spoke.

A voice carrying such authority that it seemed to shake eternity itself.

"Joshua."

Tears streamed down his face.

"Lord."

The voice continued.

"You have asked Me about her."

Joshua's chest tightened.

The woman.

The stranger.

The one face he could not forget.

"Yes, Lord."

A silence followed.

Then came words that seemed to stop time.

"Marry her."

Joshua's head jerked upward.

His heart nearly burst from his chest.

"What?"

The voice remained steady.

"Marry her."

Joshua stared into the light.

Confusion flooded his mind.

Questions collided within him.

"Lord..."

His voice cracked.

"Who?"

The light shifted.

Suddenly, before him appeared the image of a church auditorium.

Rows of chairs.

The altar.

The pulpit.

Then her.

The woman from that Sunday service.

Seated exactly where he had first seen her.

Joshua's breath caught.

His eyes widened.

"It can't be..."

The voice spoke again.

"Marry her."

Joshua rose to his feet.

"Lord, who is she?"

No answer.

"I don't know her name."

Silence.

"I've never spoken to her."

Silence.

"I don't know where she comes from."

Still silence.

His voice grew desperate.

"Lord, how can I marry someone I don't even know?"

Then the voice answered.

Not with a name.

Not with a location.

Not with an explanation.

Just one sentence.

"I know her."

Joshua froze.

The words echoed through the light.

"I know her."

And suddenly he understood.

God wasn't asking him to trust a woman.

God was asking him to trust Him.

The vision shattered.

Joshua woke with a gasp.

His heart hammered against his ribs.

The room was dark.

The first hint of dawn crept through the curtains.

For several moments he simply sat there, breathing.

Unable to move.

Unable to think.

Unable to convince himself it had only been a dream.

Then slowly, he looked toward the Bible lying open beside his bed.

His voice barely rose above a whisper.

"Lord..."

A tear rolled down his cheek.

"What do I do now?"