Vicious Circle

4. The Past

Sometimes in life, our loved ones inflicted our wounds. In such situations, people often turn against themselves. Because if someone close to us did that, we assume they must know something. But that's not true. The only thing they know is how to choose someone to blame in order to absolve themselves. That someone is us.

That someone is me...

I was always the one who was sacrificed. In my family relationships, in my friendships, and most importantly, in my relationship with Wayne... When something bad happened to us, Wayne blamed me. I wasn't surprised. I thought he would leave my life without giving me a chance to explain myself, but he came back for revenge. From the moment he blamed me, I could never look him in the eyes again.

Because I was afraid to see the feelings he no longer had for me in his eyes.

Of course, I didn't want to be a girl who was in love but stupid. But that was the truth I couldn't accept about myself.

From the moment the contract was signed, our department head was very happy. Because Wayne had made a large donation to the academy. With this donation, many projects could be carried out.

One of the clauses I specifically added to the contract was that I would only see Wayne during working hours. Trying not to see him outside of work was my priority at the moment. We also knew that we would not see a complete recovery in people in Wayne's condition. Our priority was to increase his sleep days. For this reason, I would accompany Wayne on his business trips. I also needed to observe his anxiety and depression issues. When all the additional clauses were finalised, Wayne shook hands with our department head in a professional manner and then came to me, extending his hand. I thought he would take my hand and let go, but instead he kissed it.

‘I can't wait to work with you.’

When I pulled my hand away from his lips, instead of answering, I turned my head away. As he left the room, the department head gave me instructions on what to do about my insomnia. I listened carefully and took notes.

When I made my way to my room, Scott seemed to be waiting for me. He adjusted his glasses and said, ‘The contract is signed. Congratulations.’

‘Thank you, Scott,’ I said, and he folded his hands across his chest. Scott was what you would call a classic male type. He wore glasses. He was rather thin. He always wore checked shirts and baggy trousers. However, with a little polish, men like him could be like pearls.

‘Wayne Holmes,’ he said, taking a deep breath. “He's a dangerous man.’

When I frowned, he didn't break eye contact. ”Brie, you can sense it even from a distance. He's manipulative. He's also threatening. I'd have to be an i***t not to notice that you feel insecure around him.’

I went over to my desk and picked up a box from the edge. I didn't want to answer him as I put my things away, but he did the opposite. He closed the door and sat down in the chair in front of my desk.

‘Brie, we've been friends since we started at the academy. I know you've got problems. We all do. I also know that my feelings for this man are not wrong. ’

He took off his glasses and said, ‘You need help. But you know what they say if you don't know where to start. It's a betrayal of yourself. Because it means putting off your hopes and goals for the future. ’Brie, don't put off your future. Let the future come. ’

When I continued with my work without looking at him, the lump in my throat made my nose sting. Scott must have understood, because he left the room. I collapsed into the chair behind me and started crying. I hadn't cried like that in a long time. I sobbed uncontrollably...

I was very angry with myself. I knew Scott was right. I shouldn't have postponed my future. I had to move on with my life. To do that, I needed to start from the right or wrong place. I had to pull myself together.

Pulling myself out of my thoughts, I gathered my things. Before leaving the room, I left a note on Scott's desk thanking him for his advice. I would miss his friendship.

Before going home, I stopped by Eloise's place to say goodbye. She wished me luck and didn't forget to curse Wayne. She said she would take care of my cat, Lucky. I got into my car, which I hadn't taken out of the garage in a long time, and drove to visit the person I needed to see.

I parked my car and entered the hospital. Then I headed to his room. My brother's. The person who is currently valuable to me in my life. He was asleep. He was in a coma. He had also left on that damn night. When I sat down next to him and squeezed his hand, I glanced at the machine that was beating normally as always. I felt my eyes well up.

‘I've been crying a lot lately,’ I said, trying to keep my voice steady.

‘He's back, brother. He's trying to come back into my life. I don't know what his purpose is, what his goal is. Brother, I need someone. I wish you were here right now. I wish you were with me. I wish you could reveal the truth.’

When I kissed his hand and let go, I forced myself to smile. ‘Just wake up. I'll take care of the rest.’

I said goodbye to him and left the room. When I got into my car, I took a deep breath and promised myself that I would be the one to end this. I would uncover the truth.

I woke up to Wayne's rising voice. It wasn't moonlight coming through the window anymore. It was sunlight. I got up with the jacket wrapped around me and tried to see him. But the sound was coming from the end of the corridor on the right. I put on the clothes I had thrown to the right and left. When I stood up, I felt a slight pain between my legs, but it wasn't important. As I walked towards the end of the corridor, Wayne's voice became clearer.

‘Damn it! What do you mean?’

When I entered the room, the first thing that caught my eye was the mess. Wayne's hand was bleeding, and he was only wearing his trousers. He had nothing else on.

‘Wayne,’ I said as quietly as I could.

When his eyes met mine, I took a step back. Why was Wayne looking at me like that? What was going on?

He turned off his phone. When he walked towards me, I involuntarily took a step back.

‘Wayne, what's going on?’

‘Did you plan this?’

‘Wayne, I don't understand,’ I said, trying to push him away with both hands. But it was impossible.

‘Let's go.’

He grabbed my arm and pulled us both out of the house. I was trying to figure out what was going on. He didn't answer my questions and was driving very recklessly.

‘Wayne,’ I began, “You and your family ruined my family, Brie. Do you hear me?” I didn't understand anything.

‘What do you mean? My family?’

‘Your brother killed my sister, Brie,’ he said, hitting the steering wheel. “I was sleeping peacefully with you.’

He was holding the steering wheel with one hand and hitting his head with the other. ”How did I sleep? Why did I sleep?’

‘Stop it. Stop!’

Wayne stopped the car. When I turned my head, we were in front of my house. ‘This isn't over, Brie. Tell your family.’

When I got out of the car, curious neighbours were waiting at the door, whispering to each other. When I entered the house, a big fight was waiting for me.

When I got home, I started by unpacking my suitcase. My cat was constantly purring and rubbing against me.

“Lucky, you were good in that man's lap yesterday. Ungrateful!” I said, and he apologized and rubbed against me again. I couldn't resist picking him up and cuddling him. It didn't take long to finish unpacking my things.

While I was finishing up, Mateo called to give me a quick update about Wayne's race week. According to the update, we had three months ahead of us. It was a short time. On the other hand, I would be with him throughout the race. I had the chance to observe his entire life from an outsider's perspective.

When my phone rang, I looked at the caller ID. It was an unknown number.

“Hello?“ I said, and at first there was static.

“Brie?” I recognized the voice. It was Wayne's father, Alex Holmes.

“Mr. Holmes?”

“Turn down this job,” he said threateningly. ”If you don't want your life to be ruined, stay away from my son!”