CHAPTER 2:
The door swung open suddenly.
The sound was loud. It echoed inside me.
For a moment everything seemed to slow down.
The lock on the door was hanging from the doorframe. There were splinters of wood over the floor. The cold air from the hallway came in. It felt like a warning against my skin.
Kieran was standing there.
He was breathing hard.
His eyes looked dark and dangerous.
He was staring at me like I had done something
My heart was beating fast against my ribs.
I wanted to run.
The thought was screaming in my head.
Run.
I could not move my feet.
I was scared. My body was frozen in fear.
Kieran said "you locked me out" in a voice.
His voice was too quiet. It sounded scary.
I swallowed hard. My throat felt dry. I said "I just needed some space".
He walked into the room slowly. Closed the broken door behind him.
He said "space" again like he was not sure what it meant.
I took a step back.
Then I took another step back.
It felt like I was walking on ice.
Kieran asked me if I thought I could decide when I needed space from him.
His tone was calm. It was also a little scary.
My back hit the wall. I could not move back anymore.
I said "I was not trying to upset you" and my voice was shaking.
He said "you do not need space, you need to learn your place".
His words hurt me a lot.
Not because they were new. Because he said them like they were true.
Like I was nothing more than something he owned.
Something inside me felt painful.
I used to love Kieran.
I used to believe in him.
Now I was scared of him.
My nails were digging into my palms.
I was trying to calm myself down.
I looked at the nightstand. I saw the phone.
It was a few steps away but it felt too far.
Kieran saw me looking at the phone. He smiled a little.
He asked me who I was going to call.
I said "no one". It felt true.
Because Kieran had made sure that I had no one to call.
He had cut me off from all my friends and family.
Until all that was left was him.
I said "I am not calling anyone, I just want to sleep".
Kieran stared at me for a time.
He was studying me like he was trying to figure out what I was thinking.
My heart was beating fast. I was waiting for him to do something.
Then his shoulders relaxed a little.
He said "you are overreacting I lost my temper it happens".
I felt a surge of anger. I said "it happens".
Kieran's eyes snapped back to mine. They looked sharp and cold.
He warned me to be careful.
I felt a chill down my spine. I looked down immediately.
I said "I am sorry" but it felt wrong.
Because I was not really sorry I was just trying to survive.
Kieran walked closer to me. I tensed up.
My body was frozen in fear.
He cupped my cheek. His touch felt gentle.
It also felt wrong.
He said "I do not like it when you push me, you make me do things I do not want to do".
I felt a roll down my cheek. It was not because of his touch.
It was because of his lie.
He was not being pushed; he was choosing to do these things.
I said "I am not trying to push you".
He said "then stop acting like you do not belong to me".
I felt something harden inside me.
I said "I understand". I did not really understand.
Kieran studied my face for a moment. Then he stepped back.
The distance between us felt like oxygen.
Like I could finally breathe.
He said "get some rest we will talk in the morning".
I knew that there would not be a morning.
Not for me
Because if I stayed I might not survive another night.
Kieran walked towards the door. My heart was pounding.
I wanted him to leave.
Please just leave.
He touched the door handle. Then he paused.
My breath caught in my throat.
He turned his head slightly. Reminded me that he was still watching me.
He said "do not do anything.
Then he left.
The door closed behind him. It stayed closed.
The silence in the room felt real.
I did not move at first.
I just stood there listening.
Waiting for him to come back.
He did not come back.
He was really gone.
My knees gave out. I sank to the floor.
My body was trembling and I was crying.
Even as I cried I knew that I had to run.
Now.
Not later.
Not tomorrow.
Now.
Because there might not be another chance.
I wiped my face quickly. I stood up.
My body ached. I ignored the pain.
Pain did not matter, survival did.
I looked around the room. I tried to think.
What do I take?
What do I leave?
I did not have time to think much.
I moved to the closet. I grabbed a bag.
I stuffed some clothes into it.
Not many, enough.
I did not need much, I just needed to get out.
Fast.
I grabbed the phone. I saw that the battery was low.
But it was still something, it was still a chance.
My heart was pounding as I moved towards the door.
Every step felt heavier and more dangerous.
What if Kieran was still outside?
What if he was waiting?
What if this was a trap?
I reached for the handle. I paused.
My hand was trembling.
This was the point of no return.
If I opened this door everything would change.
There would be no going back
No second chances.
No pretending things could be fixed.
Just survival.
Destruction.
I closed my eyes for a second.
Then I opened the door.
The hallway was empty, dimly lit and silent.
My heart was racing as I stepped out moving quickly but carefully.
Every sound felt amplified.
Every creak of the floor every breath I took.
I reached the staircase. I stopped.
I listened.
Nothing.
Good.
I moved down quietly gripping the railing as my legs threatened to give out beneath me.
The front door was close a few more steps.
Freedom.
At least I thought I was close to getting out of there.
Something close to freedom was what I was really looking for.
I reached the door and my fingers wrapped around the handle.
I turned the door handle, the door creaked open just slightly and then headlights flashed through the glass. They were bright, blinding.
My heart stopped beating. I saw a car pulling into the driveway.
No this cannot be happening, no no no.
Panic surged through my body as the engine cut off the sound echoed like a gunshot in the night.
Someone was here. Deep down I already knew who the car was here for me.
My grip tightened on the door as I heard footsteps echoing outside. They were slow, deliberate, coming closer.
My breathing became shallow and frantic . I did not have time to think.
Should I run out the back, should I hide, should I stay still? I had to think.
The shadow appeared through the glass. It was tall, familiar, terrifying. It was the person
I was afraid of.
Then the handle on the outside moved and I realized, late that I was not the only one trying to leave tonight the person outside was also trying to leave.
The door was my way out and now it was also the way in, for the person I was afraid of the person who was trying to leave with me.