Unwanted Marriage - English Version

Chapter X - Return from the Dead

Payton’s Pov

Dusk turn to dawns, it has been three days since Mirah left. I somehow felt so empty. Heading home just to let my body rest and nothing else. Tonight, I decided to spend some time at my favorite café in Kemang, and I’m also going to see Santoz, this pathetic creature has to get his lesson. His failure brought me this problem.

"Good evening, sir..." Greeted from behind my back as I quietly drank my beer.

Santoz slowly took a seat next to me. He’s probably too afraid to look at in eyes directly.

"About what happened the other days, I really tried, sir. I did- I'm really sorry," Santoz tried to explain again. His voice sounds like he’s begging.

"Listen to me carefully, Santoz Dwi Purba. First, your apologies or regrets will never bring Dirman back to life. Keep that in mind! Second, don’t you ever dare try to explain to me things that have passed like I’m some dumbass, you make me furious. If you asked me to come here, just to explain this s**t and find my sympathy, well, I guess you don’t really know me, Toz. " I explained while gritting my teeth.

"No sir, absolutely not. I got something to say, here" Santoz handed him a piece of paper, with his handwriting on it.

"What is this?" I asked

"A week before Dirman's passed, he left this to the prison guard," Santoz explained with a serious tone.

"A letter for Mirah?" I asked again

"No, for you, I didn’t open it, sir. I swear." Santoz answered

"OK, I’m gonna read this s**t when I got home. Now you go away from my sight. And find someone, a private detective to look for Mirah, this time don't you dare to make any mistake again. I can only tolerate two mistakes from people who work for me, you understand?" I explained without even trying to see his face.

"Yes sir, I'm leaving now… again forgive me for what happened. Good evening." Sandoz ended as he left the room.

I'm got a little drunk, God only knows how many bottles of booze I gulped down tonight. It's almost 3am. I drove my own car, Faith told Mr. Iman to go home. when I got really upset like this, I prefer to drive myself. I can gas up my Bugatti Chiron on the highway, helping get away from my frustration with adrenaline.

Now it’s 9.50 in the morning, it seems like I immediately fell asleep after I reached home. I sure got a little hangover. I left a message to Aunt Ana that I won’t come to the office today. I asked her to postpone all meetings and appointments. I put my head back on the pillow, but I remember something I hadn’t done. The letter, letter from Dirman to me. I reached into my pants pocket; in case the letter was scattered somewhere. Ah, thank God there it is.

Dear, Peyton. This is a letter I wrote just in case I didn't get a chance to see you and Mirah again. I really hope you take good care of Mirah, being able to love her more than I do.

Peyton, I don't know what you heard out there and why you hate us so much. I admit I was wrong. I was wrong for letting Lina tempt your dad. I was wrong for letting my heart ache gnawed at me after seeing my best friend make love to my new wife.

I should have warned Richard about Lina at that time rather than being controlled by pain and anger. I had been friends with your dad since we were kids. I should’ve been able to choose the virtue of Richard, you. and your mother over Lina, whom I had only known for a few months.

I deliberately let Richard to destroy his own family and career. I distanced myself from everyone, from three of you and even Mirah, my only child, as I sent her to Europe to pursue education so I could bury myself to build Zander all alone.

I apologize for letting you and your mother down, again because of my heartache, because of the betrayal from Lina and my good friend, Richard.

Your mother who was like a sister to me, she had asked for help but I turned a blind eye. Until now I could not forgive myself.

You know, when your mother and Richard started dating, I always helped your Dad to meet your mother in the park.

I apologize, for being away when you and your mother needed my help.

I'm sorry for bringing Linda into your life. It took me a long time to heal myself to mend what’s broken, to close the wound from what Linda and Richard had done, and until that time, I realized I myself had made plenty of mistakes.

I AM REALLY SORRY, PEYTON MY DEAR. MIRAH IS NOW WITH YOU, PLEASE TAKE CARE OF HER. SHE IS MY ONLY CHILD. PLEASE DON'T REPEAT THE SAME MISTAKE I’VE MADE, TO LET MYSELF CONSUMED BY ANGER AND HEARTACHE.

Sudirman Kusuma

Instantly, the hangover was gone. There was like a big blow to my head. This letter really got me. I rushed to wash my face and ask for Teh Siti to get me some black coffee in the office room. I’ve read Dirman's letter over and over. I checked his handwriting and his signature to make sure this letter was really from him. Why didn’t he tell me this before? Why did he even wait? I couldn’t get this out of my head now.

If the what he said in the letter is true, I’ve made the biggest mistake of my life. Huge mistake! If this letter is true, then the two generations of Cann really destroyed Kusuma's family. Mirah may be right, I’m a mistake, I really should not have been born into this world. Too many severe wounds have I made. If I looked down through the window of my office room. I would see Mirah hanging laundry at this time, just like usual if she were here. Silhouette of her small face between white clothes that makes me as sad somehow as remember what I’ve done to her.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I took time off from work for the next 5 days, I decided to meet Bella, I guess seeing her would help me get rid of the emptiness and heartache that I’m feeling. People say the best way to move on is to distract yourself and focus your feelings to someone else. I did love Bella, but that was before I got to know Mirah.

What I didn't realize was that the more I had feelings for Mirah, the greater my effort to let those feelings slip away. I kept on and my bad attitude would become worse in me. Now I realize that what happened, I was just trying to cover up my feelings for Mirah.

I no longer know where I’m going. For years, I have drawn up a plan of revenge, only to end it with heartbreak to the victims of my hatred. Especially, if all the vengeance and oaths that I kept turned out to be just ignorance and misconceptions past. How ridiculous was everything I dedicated to all this.

At 7 pm, I intend to surprise Bella, I will come to her in apartment with no notice. If she isn’t there yet, I’d be waiting inside to surprise her. I hope she hasn’t changed the entry code.

I arrived at Bella’s apartment and entered the code. I took off my jacket and my shoes. I could hear someone giggling from inside the bedroom, I smiled. Bella usually isn’t at the apartment at this hour. I slowly tip-toed to her room. Wait, sounds like she isn’t alone, maybe with a friend, I guess. As I was just out of the bedroom door, I looked into the gap of it that opened slightly. I couldn’t move, I was really shocked. A woman who had been with me for almost 5 years is now on her bed with another man making out, flirting with no clothes attached. I looked away, taking a deep breath. I know this is what they call karma, but I never thought it would be like this.

I point my feet out of the apartment, find myself in the humid Singapore air. Spending the night in a city corner sipping a cup of black coffee, I just want to stay sober right now, contemplating what I've gone through. A woman with my baby left me with no notice. My fiancé whom I’ve been engaged with for years, slept naked with other men.

I looked deeply into myself while sipping coffee. I wonder why there is no heartache, anger, hatred, let alone jealousy after seeing Bella getting along with another man. There is a sense of disappointment for sure, the feeling of disappointment from such betrayal, but certainly not the jealousy that I'm feeling right now. I walk slowly down the pavement to the hotel. I find a little smile on my face. Without this whole incident, I surely wouldn’t have realized the explanations and feelings that Mirah had brought in my life.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Hey Pey, aren’t you supposed to come back next week instead?" Auntie Ana asked as she saw me entering the office this morning.

"Yeah, but better be back to work soon" I answered simply while giving a tiny smile.

I entered my room, to distract myself again with a pile of work. Four hours have passed, my eyes felt sore seeing the computer screen non-stop. I went to take a short break and grab some coffee. Right when I stepped out of the room Aunt Ana said that someone left an important note and wanted to see me at the Androgini Café on the 2nd floor of the building now.

"Yeah sure, what time?" I asked

"Now." aunt Ana Answered briefly

"Who is this person making an appointment? Asking to meet me with no prior notice. Cancel it. He can wait at the café until tomorrow."

"Wait, Pey." aunt Ana grabbed my hand.

"He said this is about Dirman. He needs to meet you now." explained Aunt Ana as she lowered her voice. My gaze changed; I immediately went to grab my phone in the room and ran to the second floor.

Damn it, I don't even know the person's name. I contacted Aunt Ana to ask for the person's name, until someone called my name from behind.

"Pey" he greeted from behind, a very familiar voice, but who is that? I turned my body around and what I saw was Richard Cann, with a thin body, a lot of physical changes, and wearing a white shirt.

"Dad??"

"Pey ..." his smile widened to greet me. I didn’t know how to react. I didn’t know how I felt. Anger, homesickness, annoyance, sadness, hate. Argh, too many things that surprised me lately. He pulled my hand and asked me to sit at the table he had ordered. "Coffee?" he offered.

"Cappuccino" I replied simply while staring at him, as he walked away to the cashier and then sat down to bring me a cup of coffee.

"How are you?" he asked, with a huge smile. I wonder how he’s feeling right now.

"Fine," I replied back, flatly. "What brings you to suddenly come around again? I thought you had been swallowed up by the earth." I asked while staring at his face deeply.

"Dirman" he replied while looking down.

"Dirman was buried… like a month ago." I replied. Hearing this, my Dad immediately rubbed his eyes as he touched his forehead for a few seconds and wiped the tears that almost fell to his cheeks.

"I should have come to you sooner. Dirman came to me asking for help to explain you what actually happened back then. He thought you got some revenge plan for him and his daughter. But I ignored it, I was too ashamed to meet you. And now, I’ve lost him, my best friend. Is it true, what he said? Did, did you kill him, Pey?” He asked me in tears, I can tell he’s trying not to accuse me.

"I got a thousand plans to hurt them, Dad. I have done to them unforgivable things. I trapped Dirman so he got into the prison." I can hear my own loud voice somehow softened by my own regrets.

"Don't you know that I have committed a huge sin to their family?" dad raised his voice to me.

"His family has stolen our family business." I explained.

"Dirman and I built Zander together, it can't be said that he stole it from me. In fact, it was him who actually built Zander, not me. I was too drunk by my love for Lina, I spent so much company money just for her. So, Dirman had to forcibly withdraw all the office access from me, trying to save me from selling the company assets for nothing.”

His words hit me harshly. Everything was beyond difficult for me to process. how could everything I have planned for years turned out to be nothing but mere nonsense? I'm the villain, I’m the f****d up one. Cann family is the loser. My gaze went wild, I tried to catch my own breath. I dedicated myself for years to a revenge which turned out to be nothing.

"Why did you just come around now, Richard?" I asked in a voice that I pressed deep, restraining myself from screaming out loud here in this café.

"Forgive me, Pey" he begged.

"You know what? I think there's nothing more to discuss, I have to go back to work. Good day" I left my dad alone at the table, letting him to lament all his mistakes and the disaster he caused.