Matched With Professor

14. 3 words 8 letters

Kate’s pov

(At Kate’s studio)

‘Why is your phone dead? I worried about you!’ Nathan shows up at my front door, gasping with beads of sweat on his forehead.

My heart twists when seeing him being so anxious because of me. But I can’t ignore what google told me.

‘You shouldn’t be here. Most residents here are students. Someone will see you. ’  I put on my icy face, pushing him hard to get him away from my door. I need him to get out of my sight. Then I am pulling close the door.

He didn’t move，with one hand grabbing the doorframe. ‘I don’t care! I just want to make sure you are alright.’

‘You don’t? why? Coz you are so used to get caught dating a new girl?’ I speak to him sarcastically

‘Kate. What happened?’

‘You tell me.’ I turn back and he follows me into my studio.

I point at the screen of my laptop to him, with ‘Nathan Elwick’ in Google search bar. ‘How about you start with one of your ex-girlfriends? Maybe the one you paid 200grand pounds?’ I look in his eyes, waiting for but also being afraid of what he will say.

‘Sorry hon. There is nothing I can say about this.’

Boom! It means true. My brain stops functioning at the moment his words going into my ears. I mean Google would not lie to me. Still, I was expecting another story behind this. An untold but reasonable story that could prove Nathan isn’t what I thought. However, what he said has kind of proved that it’s only my illusion of being an exception to his affairs.  

‘It’s time for you to leave!’ I have to make so much effort to control my emotions and force my tears down. I will collapse next second as long as he’s in my sight.  

‘Kate, Please don’t push me away. You know how much you mean to me! I don’t believe you don’t get it.’

‘How much I mean to you? Just like your tons of exes? Wow! I’m surprised at how much love you have.’ I barely breath to say those words.

‘I said get out! Now!’ The lump in my throat just keeps growing and growing. I can’t cry, at least not now, not in front of him. He needs to leave immediately.

The guy I felt for with the whole heart.

The guy I thought he had the same feeling for me.

The guy made me feel so special and lucky.

But it turns out that the guy had done and said the same things to many girls too.

How can I endure all these?

‘I can’t deny my past. I’m not proud of it either. You know, I hate to lie to you. It would be better if you know everything about me. The good and the bad parts. But I was so afraid that you may leave me when you fully know about my past.’ He grabs my shoulders firmly, ‘The day did come. I’m sorry.’

 Maybe 2 minutes of silence pass away. And I heard,

‘I love you!’

He said the three magic words and continued. ‘ I never cared for any other girls as I did for you. I never said love to any other girls except you. I don’t ask you to forgive me right now. But I will prove it.’

‘Just Go! Leave me alone.’ It’s hard to not be moved by his words. But what if it’s another lie? How can I believe a playboy?

‘Ok. I’m leaving.’

I’m ready to close the door. He stops me and says, ‘Just so you know. There was a big meeting in London awaiting for me. I canceled the schedule. Coz I can’t get focused on business when knowing you are mad at me. I just mean, you mean much more than anything to me. ’

‘Finished?’ Is it his trick to win girls’ love back? Then I’m slamming the door.

‘Call me anytime if you’d like.’ He shouts outside. And His steps fade away.

‘I confronted him. ’ I text Emily.

‘And?’

‘So f*****g hard to force my heart not to feel for or not to believe  him.’

‘Then follow it. U r a grown-up. U know what’s right to do.J’

‘Did I let you down? Being so weak with the guy?’

‘You did not! I just worried about you. But if you think he is the one, go get him.’

‘Kudos. Em. big hug!’

‘xoxo. I’m always here’

It would be hard to fall asleep tonight. I can’t calm my brain down. Will it be also difficult for Nathan too?

I already miss him. My eager to see him and touch him keeps expanding.

God! Where's my drink? Definitely needed now.

Wine always helps.

Goodnight. Troubles.