"How are you, my poor unfortunate friends?" Suman asked cheerfully.
Ixartxist simply glared at him and rested his head on one hand.
"Since when did I invite either of you to be here? Especially you, Suman."
Suman looked at Calaguas, then back at Ixartxist, and shrugged.
"What the hell brings you here?" Ixartxist asked again.
Suman removed his favorite velvet coat and happily began talking about his latest adventure and the brilliant farce he had pulled on everyone.
Neither of his friends looked impressed.
Ixartxist continued staring blankly at the wall with his head resting on his palm.
Meanwhile, Calaguas rolled his eyes.
"You've never done a nice deed in your life," he said. "And the farce you're talking about is probably just another mess you've created."
Suman ignored him.
Instead, he focused on Ixartxist.
He followed Ixartxist's gaze and stared at the wall himself, trying to figure out what was so fascinating about it.
Ten seconds later, he got bored.
Suman leaned over and politely tapped Ixartxist's arm.
"Hey, listen to my story."
Ixartxist glowered at him.
"No. Go away."
But Suman ignored him.
He stood up and sat directly on top of Ixartxist's desk. Then he placed a hand on his head. His hair slowly turned golden yellow. He ran a hand across his face, and his appearance suddenly changed until he looked exactly like Tassa. He fluttered his eyelashes dramatically and looked at Ixartxist with an innocent smile. "Will you listen to me when I talk to you, Ixart-xist?" Suman asked using Tassa's sweet voice.
Instead of getting his attention, it only annoyed Ixartxist even more.
He grabbed Suman by the collar.
Before either of them could start fighting, Calaguas stepped in.
"Suman! I told you not to do that!" Ixartxist shouted. "And don't ever copy her again!"
Suman immediately returned to his normal appearance.
He brushed imaginary dust from his clothes.
"Come on. No harm done."
He grinned.
"Besides, are you still upset about what almost happened yesterday?"
"Upset? No. Angry? Yes."
Ixartxist pointed a finger directly at him.
"And don't ever bring that up again. I hate you. No, I loathe you. Now get out!"
Calaguas tried to calm him down, but Ixartxist shrugged him off and sank deeper into his chair.
Calaguas shot him an annoyed look before sitting back down across from Suman.
"So," Calaguas said, "what is this all about?"
Suman's face immediately lit up.
"Finally! Someone asked."
He sat up straight.
"I made people go crazy over me—"
Calaguas didn't even let him finish.
He rolled his eyes once again.
"One of the many reasons we're all in Hell, Suman."
Suman shook his head from side to side while smiling.
"No, no, no, my friend. That's just you."
He held up a finger.
"And another no, no, no for the shenanigans, because what I did this time is actually going to make you laugh."
Suman leaned forward with a mischievous grin.
"Trust me. This story is worth hearing."
Xart and Calaguas continued to stare at Suman with complete boredom. Neither of them wanted to hear another one of his stories. Suman quickly noticed how uninterested they looked. Their eyes seemed empty, as if their spirits had already left the room.
He glanced between them.
"Do you two even want me to continue my story?"
Neither replied.
The room fell silent.
For nearly twenty minutes, the three of them sat there doing absolutely nothing, each staring off into the distance.
Eventually, Ixartxist looked up. Then down.
Then at Calaguas, who was staring at his own shoes. Then at Suman, who was absentmindedly tapping his finger on the desk.
Ixartxist had been hoping they would leave.
Unfortunately, they didn't.
Finally, he grabbed Suman's hand to stop the tapping and glared at him.
"You two can leave now. Especially you, Sum—"
"Okay, I'll tell the story anyway." Suman ignored him completely.
"I was walking downtown, observing some foolish people."
Ixartxist turned his chair around and rested his head on his hand.
"You mean tempting those ignorant humans again," Calaguas said.
Suman laughed.
"Maybe. Maybe not."
He leaned back comfortably.
"Then I saw a carved image of a saint, and I made it cry."
Calaguas raised an eyebrow.
"Cry?"
"Not normal tears. Bloody tears."
Suman grinned proudly.
"At first nobody noticed. Then a girl came along and saw it. She witnessed the saint crying blood."
He spread his arms dramatically.
"And do you know what she did?"
"We don't care," Ixartxist replied immediately.
"Ornery." Suman waved him off.
"Anyway, she called other people over to look at it. Before long, everyone was gathering around, praying and praising it."
That finally got Calaguas' attention.
He rested his hand on his chin.
"They believed it that easily?"
"Exactly."
"Why would they praise a carved image?" Calaguas asked. "Wasn't it clearly written in the Commandments not to worship such things? I could have sworn Heaven carved that onto stone."
Ixartxist turned his chair back toward them.
"He did."
He folded his arms.
"The first commandment says, 'You shall have no other gods before Me.' The second forbids worshiping carved images."
Calaguas nodded.
"So by doing that, they're breaking two commandments at once."
"They know it," Ixartxist said. "They've read it. They've heard it countless times. They just don't believe it."
Suman laughed.
"Humans are so eager for miracles."
He pointed at himself.
"They see one strange thing happen and immediately assume it must be holy."
He shrugged.
"Don't they realize Heaven isn't the only source of miracles? Demons can create wonders too."
He leaned forward.
"If I made a mug float across a room, wouldn't that look miraculous? Why wouldn't they worship that?"
"Because people are desperate for signs," Ixartxist said. "And sometimes they're foolish enough to believe whatever they see."
Calaguas sighed.
"In this age, people don't need miracles to believe."
He crossed his arms.
"They already have everything they need."
"The Scriptures. History. Teachings. Prayer."
He looked at both of them.
"What else are they looking for?"
"The path has already been shown to them. They don't need to find a new one. They only need to follow it."
Suman smiled.
"But humans don't like old paths."
Ixartxist nodded.
"They would rather explore their own roads."
"Even if those roads lead them somewhere dangerous."
The room grew quiet again.
"They believe whatever they hear," Ixartxist continued. "They chase whatever miracle they can see."
He shook his head.
"Even when it's a fraud."
"And the worst part is the people who praise Satan."
Suman shook his head.
"I mean, I admit I was one of them before. But they all know that's the reason we became fallen angels, right, Ixar-txist?"
He batted his eyes dramatically at him.
Ixartxist immediately looked away and rolled his eyes.
Before either of them could start arguing again, Calaguas stepped forward and pushed Suman away from him.
"Don't they know that?" Suman asked.
Calaguas placed a finger over his lips, telling him to be quiet.
However, he was surprised when Ixartxist answered.
"Well, some people believe he can give them eternal life, Suman."
Ixartxist leaned back in his chair.
"And some believe he was right. Just like we once did."
He paused.
"Others simply think it's cool."
He shook his head.
"Even now, I don't understand how humans think. They can be unbelievably foolish."
Suman laughed in annoyance.
"Cool?"
He slapped a hand onto the desk.
"So they think going to Hell is some kind of joke?"
He leaned forward.
"Then why would demons beg and do everything they can just to return to Heaven?"
"We seek forgiveness while humans waste their time doing foolish things."
Suman folded his arms.
"They become Satanists because they think Satan can save them. Because they think it's cool."
He pointed at himself.
"If demons could save humans, then why can't we save ourselves?"
Neither of his friends answered.
Suman continued.
"What do they think is the reason some demons possess humans and pretend to be their dead relatives?"
He smiled bitterly.
"To save ourselves. To get blessed by priests. To hope that somehow the gates of Heaven might open for us."
He shook his head.
"If demons can't save themselves, how can Satanists believe we can save them?"
Suman laughed.
"It's ridiculous."
"If I were a demon—"
Calaguas raised an eyebrow.
"You are a demon."
"Exactly," Suman replied. "And that's why I'm laughing at how foolish they are."
"Because of their ignorance," Ixartxist said calmly.
"And because of that, we're taking them with us."
Calaguas glanced at the piles of documents covering the desk.
"Speaking of that..."
He pointed at the papers.
"What's with all these names?"
Ixartxist smirked.
"They are exactly what you think they are."
He tapped the stack.
"My beautiful contracts."
"From those foolish humans."
Calaguas stared at him.
"You pity them, yet you still deceive them."
"They were already fools before I deceived them." Ixartxist leaned back comfortably.
"Besides, the people who sign these contracts are not worthy of Heaven anyway."
He spread his arms dramatically.
"Am I right?"
He laughed loudly.
"Am I right?" His laughter echoed through the office.
To him, it was amusing how easily some humans could be deceived by promises and temptations.
Eventually, Ixartxist sat back down.
He rested an elbow on the table and leaned his head against the back of his hand.
A strange smirk appeared on his face.
Calaguas and Suman exchanged uneasy looks. Something about his expression felt wrong.
He looked far too calm.
Like a quiet ocean moments before a storm.
"So," Suman asked cautiously, "what's the big news?"
Ixartxist's smile widened.
"What news? You tell me."
"Quit it, Ixartxist." Suman narrowed his eyes. "You're starting to creep the hell out of me."
Ixartxist didn't answer. Instead, he slowly tilted his head and gave them a deadly smile.
Suman and Calaguas looked at each other.
Then they both looked back at Ixartxist. Neither of them liked that smile.