Sweet As Sin

34

“Maybe the 911 operator felt guilty about my imminent death.” I watched six burly officers emerge from the parked police cars. Four of them started talking to the group on the sidewalk while the other two made their way up the brick path toward my front door.

I was right: the lawn had been trashed. Also, many of the bud vases lining the walk had been toppled, and one of the large floral displays in urns lay in ruins on its side. Bastards! At least the hydrangeas lining the fence still looked intact. Maybe I could plant them.

If I didn’t have to move to Iceland in order to escape the paparazzi plague.

“I’m sure paparazzi don’t actually kill people.” Chloe sounded more hopeful than certain.

Grace said, “I have two words for you. Princess Di.”

With that chilling pronouncement, the doorbell rang. I ran to answer it, Grace and Chloe at my heels.

“Miss Reid?” One of the officers—blond, dimpled, square-jawed—looked hopefully at Chloe. She looked back at him as if he were Prince Charming, just arrived on his trusty steed.

“That’s me,” I said, interrupting the mutual admiration society.

Blond Cop tore his gaze from Chloe to regard me with less enthusiasm. He inclined his head. “Ma’am.”

Why wasn’t I “Miss”? Christ, did I look that haggard?

“Thanks for coming so quickly.”

“No problem,” said the other officer. He was shorter, but no less broad in the chest, or intimidating, than his associate. “First time dealing with the paps can be scary, we know.”

Grace pounced on that like a cat on a mouse. “How do you know it’s the first time?”

Blond Cop provided the answer, smiling knowingly. “Your friend gave us a call.”

Nico had the cops on speed dial? In my mind, he was beginning to take on the stature of Superman. Chloe, Grace, and I shared a dazed look.

“If you don’t do anything interesting, they’ll leave on their own after a while. In the meantime, we’ll make sure they stay off the lawn and on the other side of the street. We know most of these guys. The TMZ crew is pretty harmless; it’s the independents you have to watch out for. They can get a little aggressive.”

I knew they were aggressive, but hearing a policeman describe them that way was on a different level, considering cops dealt with the worst of the worst of humanity in their jobs. I felt more and more sick. “They can just stand across the street, watching me? For how long?”

The officer didn’t answer directly. Most likely he could sense my pending mental breakdown.

“There are loitering laws, but honestly it’s best just to ignore them. Like I said, unless you do something interesting, they’ll be on to the next thing pretty quick.” He handed me a business card. “If you feel threatened, this is the number to the station. Officer Cox and I,” he nodded at Blond Cop, “patrol this area and can usually be here within fifteen minutes.”

“What if you’re not on duty?” Chloe was wringing her hands in worry. Officer Cox looked at her as if he’d like to give her a hug. Or something stronger.

“Don’t worry. We’ve got you covered.”

I felt a little better. Then I wondered if I needed to have Chloe move in with me so Officer Cox would respond just as quickly to my next distress call. Because I assumed there would be a next distress call; it wasn’t as if I was going to stop seeing Nico because of those paparazzi fuckers.

I realized he’d be arriving soon . . . and I probably looked like something the cat had coughed up.

“Thank you, guys. So much. Just having you here makes me feel better.” Now please leave so I can take a shower and scrape the moss off my teeth before Superman flies in and mistakes me for a cave troll.

Officer Cox and his friend nodded at me and turned to go. After a few steps, Officer Cox turned back. He held out his own card to Chloe. “Just in case.”

Biting her lip, she took the card. They stared at one another a beat. “Right. You never know. Emergencies and all.”

He nodded. So did Chloe. It seemed as if something had been decided. He walked away, black baton swinging phallically at his hip, his swagger that of a man who’d just bagged an elephant.

Chloe couldn’t take her eyes from him.

Well, I thought cheerfully, so long, Miles! Silver linings, etcetera. The three of us retreated inside, and I closed the door. Now seemed a good time to finish my drink.

“Did that just happen?” Chloe seemed a bit stunned.

“What? Your love connection with the LAPD?” Grace chuckled. “Yes, sweetie, I think it did.”

“He was hot, right? And did you see the size of his gun?”

I wasn’t going to touch that one.

Grace said, “I’m sure you two will make beautiful blond babies and live happily ever after as Mr. and Mrs. Cox, a name designed solely to amuse people like me. Now can we please discuss how we’re going to get out of here without those vultures outside following us home?”

Oh. I hadn’t considered that. At some point, Grace and Chloe had to leave.

“I need a shower in order to think. Just give me—”