All These Pesky Feelings

.Brooke

He was looking at me. That song...it was for me. Oh s**t s**t s**t. He can’t actually be falling for me, could he? Could I be? 

And that first song, my dad loved it. One of my earliest memories is of him and my mom waltzing around the dining room table together to that song, laughing. Then my dad would scoop me up into his strong brown arms, and my mom would cover my face with kisses. Chris was only a baby then, he doesn’t remember. That was before my dad was deported, before Clara turned to drinking and things between us went sour.  

And here’s Asher, playing my happiest memories. I turn so no one can see how much his playing affected me. Pretty good? That boy is one hell of a guitar player. 

I turn back to the room, where Delilah and Ryan are gushing and clapping Asher on the back respectively. After that little performance there’s no way he’s not getting into our band. I suppress a groan. He catches my eye over the top of Delilah’s head and winks. I roll my eyes and start packing my stuff. 

I stay in the shed as she leads the boys out, hoping to avoid having to listen to Delilah rant about how good he is, blah blah blah. No luck. She comes right back, curls bouncing as she hurries in. 

“Oh my god, wasn’t that amazing?”

I say nothing. She’ll go on talking anyway.

“I mean I knew he was good, but I didn’t know that he could also write songs. That song was so romantic.”

I try to smile. “Very sweet.”

“Brooke, guess what?”

“What?” I say, picking up my stuff and heading toward the exit. She steps in front of me, blocking the door. Delilah is a little taller than me, so I have to look up to see her expression. She’s smiling a giddy smile, her nose crinkling in a way I know means she’s legitimately happy. I can’t help smiling too. Delilah has a gravity about her, something that makes people want to be around her. Her excitement is contagious. 

Her eyes sparkle as she says “I think Asher likes me, and I bet he wrote that song for me. I mean we met at a party like that!” 

I stop smiling. Of course that song is for her. She’s the pretty one, the one he wants. I don’t know why it bothers me so much. 

I try for a smile, but it feels more like a grimace. “That song could be for you, but don't forget that he’s a player. He’s probably sung that song to hundreds of girls.” Or it’s not for you, I think forcefully, surprised by my own anger.

She deflates a bit. “You're probably right. Unless he does something super romantic, I won’t fall for it.”

I breathe a sigh of relief as she slips an arm around my shoulders. “Now, let’s go put your stuff upstairs. We can watch a movie!”

I give her a confused look. “What do you mean?”

She pokes my side. “Come on, you don’t think I wasn’t going to take advantage of you being at my house. You’re staying over.” 

I smile. A sleepover with Delilah is just what I need. Then I think of Chris. He’s still a little sick, and I don’t want him to have to spend the night alone. I sigh. “I wish I could but-”

“No buts. You’ll stay the night and go home before school. That way you can check on your brother.”

I have no idea how she does it, but Delilah always knows exactly what I’m thinking. I hesitate. “But I don’t have my stuff. . .”

“Oh come on, I’ll lend you a pair of pjs, and you already have your own toothbrush here. You’ll go change at home tomorrow.”

“But Chris-”

“He’ll be fine. Call him and tell him to order pizza or something. You and I haven’t spent time together for a while. I miss my best friend.” She pouts, and I hear myself agreeing. 

“Well okay, as long as we don’t stay up too late.” 

She laughs, and I can’t help but laugh too. We always end up talking until the early hours of the morning, so sleep is a lost cause. 

We head inside, talking and laughing, and for a few moments, everything feels just right.

***

“You’re what?!” Please let me have heard wrong, please please please. This has to be a mistake.

Delilah sighs. “I’m going on a date with Asher today.”

I didn’t hear wrong. “A date?! But you’ve only known each other for a few weeks since school started!”

“Yeah, but I mean he has been hanging around a lot, and I feel like I’ve gotten to know him pretty well.”

You have no idea how well you know him, I think sarcastically. “But, I thought you agreed with me that he's not boyfriend material!”

She rolls her eyes. “Are you kidding? He’s totally boyfriend material. You should have seen how he asked, it was super sweet.”

“Oh yeah? What did he do?” I raise an eyebrow.

“Oh it’s really cute. I asked him about the song he wrote, and I joked that he probably sang that to every girl he met,” She’s blushing now, and for some reason it infuriates me.”And he looked me straight in the eye, all seriously, and said: That song was written for one girl, and one girl alone.” 

Oh. Oh. He didn’t mean Delilah now, did he? I grit my teeth.

“And then he asked me out. I mean how could I say no after that?”

How indeed. I need to stop this date, but I’m not sure why I hate the idea so much. I mean, you know, apart from the fact that he’s an i***t who’s taking away my best friend. 

I realize Delilah is waiting for me to say something. “Fine. Go on the date with him. When he breaks your heart don’t say I didn’t warn you.” I need to find a way to stop this date, but what can I do? Maybe I should talk to Asher, give him a piece of my mind. But then he might get angry and send out those pictures… I shiver, horrified by the thought. 

Delilah looks a little hurt, and I feel a pang of guilt. It’s really not her fault, she doesn’t know him like I do. “He won’t break my heart, you’ll see.”

I scoff internally. Yeah right.