It Wasn’t Supposed To Be Like This

Chapter 2

Oh crap this isn’t good is all I could think as Xavier suddenly let me go from his grasp and I finally fell to the ground. I looked back and forth between the two boys both glaring at each other, I know why Dylan is protective over me but this guy Xavier I had no clue what his deal was or why he just kissed me like he’s known me for my whole life.

“Avery” Layla said making my eyes snap to her,”are you ready to go?” She asked glancing between me and the boys noticing the tension filling the air and all I could do was nod. We started walking back home,

”what happened?” I didn’t want to let Layla know that I was just kissed by some random, but a very handsome stranger who’s name I barely even knew but she was my best friend and I needed to talk to someone,

”as I was leaving I accidentally ran into the new guy, Xavier if you didn’t know his name yet, and I almost fell to the ground but he caught me and just held on to me, I told him he could let me go and apologized for bumping into him and he kissed me instead, and then Dylan caught us…” I trailed off I felt embarrassed but also really calm about the whole situation I couldn’t help but feel the way Xavier did, there was some weird familiarity about him and his voice, harsh but soothing and his piercing pale blue eyes I swear I’ve seen them almost like in a dream or something.

“What did Dylan do?” She asked me as we made our way up my driveway

,”he didn’t do anything he just coughed which brought me back to earth, but I could see the hurt in his eyes mixed with the anger he wanted to yell, fight him even, all I know is that I’m glad I’m away from there and back home now.” We made our way through the front door and up the stairs. Once we were in my room we both quickly changed into sweatpants and a hoody, walking to the bathroom to remove my makeup and brush my teeth,

”Layla, what do you think I should do?” I ask peering around the door frame,she’s sitting on my bed flipping through channels trying to find something to watch,

”honestly I don’t know, do you still love him?” That question made me wince I hadn’t given it a whole lot of thought since we broke up trying everything in my might to remain busy so I didn’t have to think about him,

” I do,but I don’t think I can be with someone who broke up with me for spending too much time with my family..” I know Dylan doesn’t quite understand why my family was so important he was an only child and his mom died when he was really young, so he only had his dad growing up who had to work constantly to pay the bills and make sure Dylan had everything in life he could possibly want.

”I get that but you can also understand why he doesn’t,” Layla piped in and I just nodded,

”I do understand we come from two completely different backgrounds, which means he should be able to understand as well, I know my family will never amount to his own but they always accepted him with open arms, even invited him on vacations with us he just chooses not to go.” I say flatly when I hear it again

“You know what the clear choice is Avery” I have no idea where this voice is coming from and why it sounds nothing like my own voice in my head usually does. Crawling up into my bed next to Layla and she just looked at me with knowing eyes,

”I know and I’m sorry you’re in this situation..” she trailed off and I knew what was coming next,”I do think it’s time for you and Dyl..” she started to say as my phone started to ring I looked at it and it was my mom.

Mom~hey I was just calling to make sure you were okay, and just wanted to let you know we probably wouldn’t be home by the time you got home~

Me~actually me and Layla are already back home, the party wasn’t as good as it usually is so we came home to chill out and watch tv~

Realizing now that I didn’t even bother to see if anyone else was home but now I realize that the house was strangely quiet.

Mom~okay..well your brother is at a friends house and me and your dad are in town on a date after weeks of our schedules not aligning we finally were able to get some us time~

Me~ I wondered when that would happen, well I hope you guys have a good time and I’ll see you in the morning..I love you mom~

I hear her sigh on the other end she can sense in my tone something is wrong but she knows not to pry that I’ll talk when I’m ready.

Mom~okay Avery,I love you~

And with that we hung up the phone.

“So snacks?” I ask looking at Layla who smiles and nods her head. The next couple of weeks go by in a blur, I catch glimpses of Xavier in the hallway, his eyes always on me when I see him. And then Dylan I know I need to talk to him but I don’t even know where to begin. As the day came to an end I decided it was time to go ahead and ask him if we could talk.

“Dylan?” I walk up to him and he just turns to look at me, it’s been weeks since we’ve been this close and my body was craving his familiarity, my lips begging to be on his but I had to stay strong,

“I think it’s time for us to go ahead and talk..” he still just looks at me, his eyes saying everything my body is already feeling, lust and hunger for us to touch once again the way we used to. He finally nods,

”our place?” He asks and I nod, we used to meet at the boardwalk all the time and then walk down to this cave that sits right by the edge of the water but isn’t super visible to anyone passing by you have to look for it, since we’ve been coming here only one other person has ever been seen coming in and out.

“I’ll meet you there at five.” He nods and turns on his heel and walks away. I head home to get ready, when I walk through the door my mom is already home with my little brother on her hip,

“how was school sweetie?” I absolutely love my mom but we don’t get to talk often because of work and school and she’s either already gone by the time I wake up or just leaving when I get home from school it really sucks.

“It was okay, I’m actually going to be heading out shortly I think it’s time for me and Dylan to finally talk I’ve avoided him and my feelings for as long as I can,” she looks at me with knowing eyes,

”okay dear, be safe and hey when you get home why don’t we spend some time together?” I nod and head up to my room, I go to my closet and pull out Dylan’s favorite outfit, a dark blue sundress it looked good against my pale skin and my red hair, but I think the reason he loved it most was because it was easy access, I feel my cheeks flush as I think about all the times we’ve had in this dress, the sweet passionate love making to the super rough make you need to gasp for air s*x we had. I feel myself start to burn with desire, I brush it off, this isn’t the time for that, checking my phone I see it already 4:30 has that much time really passed? I needed to leave soon if I wanted to make it there before he did, as I try to slide my phone into my purse I hear it go off

Layla~good luck today I know you aren’t looking forward to this, I’m here if you need me okay?~

I have no idea why I deserve the friend I have but I absolutely adore her.

Me~thank you, I’ll let you know how things go and if I need you later,love you!~

I slide my phone into my purse not waiting for a response I needed to leave, this conversation was going to be hard, not only did Dylan and I grow up together, we dated for a year and half and I honestly never had any clue he was upset with how much time I spent with my family so the break up really blindsided me, and to make matters worse it was over text. The drive to the boardwalk was short or maybe it felt so short because I was zoned out for most of the drive. I pull into a park spot next to the little plaza across the street from the boardwalk,

”turn around now you don’t want to do this,he left you in the past” I sigh I don’t know what this voice was but it wasn’t wrong, I don’t want to do this and he had left me in the past but seeing the hurt in his eyes when he saw me kissing well more like saw Xavier kissing me, I knew we needed closure and to let go whatever hopes and expectations we had of this relationship ever happening again. I walk along the shoreline feeling my stomach twist into knots as I get closer to the cave, when the familiar intoxicating scent of him cologne hits me. As I walk in I see him sitting down in a blanket in my favorite white polo and his dark denim jeans, and his hair slicked back but still messy upon his head letting me know he had been rubbing his hands through his hair because he was also just as nervous as me, when I accidentally kick a rock and he glances up to see me standing there, he just smiles oh that beautiful smile that I want to kiss so bad,

”Hey Avery fancy seeing you here,” I just roll my eyes and giggle,

”yeah so weird like we had absolutely no intention of seeing each other here today.” He laughs at me now. The cave was usually dark but we had brought in some battery operated lights and hung them around the walls of the cave letting some of them flow to the ground, I walk over and sit on the blanket with my legs laying under me and out to the side, he scoots closer and goes to grab my hand,

”Dyl..” I trail off I want to pull away but I long to be touched by him,

“yes Avery?” He looks at me now deep into my eyes and I can’t deny him any longer I lean in to kiss him but am taken back when he doesn’t pursue me as well,

”you’re right Avery I’m sorry, we can’t do anything we need to talk and get closure and move on.” He lets go of my hand and I sigh trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to spill over my eyes

“you’re right, where do you want to begin?” I ask him looking to the side so he doesn’t see my eyes or how much I need him to not leave, I don’t want to let,before I can finish my thought I hear that voice again

“you do want him to let you go, I know don’t know me, but I am here for you and I will make a proper introduction sometime soon” proper introduction what? A voice in my head needs to introduce themselves to me, my confusion appearing evident on my face because Dylan asks me what I was thinking about,

“I was thinking about how much this isn’t going to hurt, having to officially let you go,” I didn’t want to let him know what was really going on, but I did know I needed to wrap this up quick so I could go talk to Layla,

“I just need a couple of answers first,” looking at him now,”why did you continue dating me for a year and a half knowing how important my family was..just to leave me because of my family?” Looking at him tears swelling in my eyes but he won’t look at me,

”i don’t know, honestly it’s not even that you being so involved with them bothers me so much but I do get jealous, seeing how much time you guys spend together just makes me sad and I shouldn’t hold it against you, but I can’t help it, all I’ve ever wanted is a family and I’m reminded every time I’m with you that I will never have that.” He stops rage fueling inside my body, my family has never been anything but accepting of him and this is how he truly feels?

“I..I can’t even look at you right now Dylan, I know my family will never compare to your own but they’ve always loved and accepted you and have invited you on every vacation, family outing, dinners whatever it may be, they have always loved and accepted you from the beginning.” He just looks at me, dumbfounded I can’t look away, his brown eyes staring me down, his nose scrunched and his mouth slightly opened, I can’t, I can’t resist the urge any longer, I lunge at him, my mouth landing on his, my hands going to his hair,his landing on my waste, I’m so angry at him but maybe angry hot makeup s*x is what we need. We lay down on the blanket me slightly straddling him as my hands slip down to undo his pants, but before I can he flips me over onto my back and pulls back, god he was so enticing and I wanted, no I needed him now, even if this was the last time I needed it. “AVERY LEE” oh s**t it was that voice in my head again, I pushed it to the back of my mind as we continued, I didn’t want to think about that right now, I just wanted him. I sit up grasping the bottom of his shirt and pull it over his head, he was toned and tan, a medium light chocolate color and he was breathtaking, when I’m pulled from my thoughts as I feel his hands run under my dress and feel the front of my panties, he groans as he feels my wetness knowing I’m ready to take all of him, but he had other plans, he slowly brings my panties down to my ankles, and he spreads my legs wide so he can take a look at my pink wet ready center and he just dives in, head first slowly licking from bottom to top, and then stopping to gently suck on my trembling flower and inserting 2 fingers i trembled under his touch, he continues sucking and nibbling and slowly sliding his fingers in and out as I steadily reach my climax and just as I’m about to fall over the edge into the abyss of ecstasy he stops making his way back up to my mouth making me taste myself on his lips,

“are you sure this is what you want?” I nod as he undoes his pants the rest of the way exposing his already hard self, he positions himself in between my thighs and starts to slowly enter, I exhale as he finally pushes in the rest of the way, the pure bliss of having our bodies against each other him inside me once more, is enough to bring me back to the cliff of ecstasy, he continues to pump harder and faster and I continue to tremble trying to hold on to the edge of the cliff because I’m not ready to let this feeling go yet, and just as I feel my last finger slip I grab onto his shoulders and let myself tremble and shake under his touch which is just enough to send him over the edge as well, he stops and looks at me, still hungry with lust as we both come back from the cliff we just fell over, I loved this man but I knew it was time to let him go, he gently pulls out of me and begins to get dressed as I pull my panties back up. I look at him, he doesn’t look back my way, I sigh and check my phone,

“oh crap,” I blurt out, 10 missed calls from mom, I’m in so much trouble, without even looking back I run out and back to my car, and head home, once I walk through the door my mom is sitting there waiting for me,

”where have you been!?” I knew she was upset even though she didn’t carry a tone of anger when she was her calmest that was when she was scariest. I looked at her with apologetic eyes,

“I’m sorry mom I’ve been with Dylan and I didn’t have my phone out because I didn’t want any distractions so we could talk and discuss what we wanted to do going forward,” she raised an eyebrow at me and I look beside me into the mirror, my hair was an untamed mess, which was nothing out of the norm but my dress was dirty and my knees were covered in dirt, which gave away what I had been doing, my s*x life is no secret but I could still see the disappointment because she knew I was now more confused than when I had left, we had talked but didn’t really discuss what we were going to do.

“I’m sorry mom, I don’t know why I let myself get away I tried so hard to resist him but I couldn’t .” I started to cry and she came over and embraced me, she knew how hard this was for me and how close we were and that I didn’t want to let him go. She just sighed,

”I know sweetie, I’m sorry you didn’t get full closure, but maybe this can just show you what you truly were to him.” She knew that more times than I’d like to admit when I hung out with Dylan it turned to s*x, we didn’t have a lot of meaningful talks but we still knew a lot about each other, at least the important things. I still needed to talk to him but I don’t think I can do it face to face again. So after I finally stopped crying and my mom felt like she could let me go, I walked to my room to shower and change and then did the hardest thing I didn’t want to do.

Me~ I don’t think we can talk face to face again without things turning out the way they did this time~

I waited for the three little bubbles to pop up, but they didn’t. I didn’t want to do this without him being actively present in the conversation but it needed to happen.

Me~I’m sorry Dylan, but it’s time to let each other go, having s*x just now just confused us even more and I’m sorry to have led you on, but we have to let each other go. I can’t just forgive the way you reacted to me spending time with my family, I made equal time for both of you during the school year and during the summer i tried my hardest, I couldn’t help that you didn’t want to go on vacation with us, Dylan I do love you with everything I have but I don’t think it’s healthy for us to continue on with this relationship any longer . I’m sorry best of luck.

Xoxo,

Avery~

And I sent it, I needed to call Layla and tell her what happened but she could wait until tomorrow. I threw my phone on the bed and headed down to the living room so me and mom could have our much needed girl time.