On a Roll

Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Vinyl pulled his cigarette case out of his pocket. “Smoke, man?” He’d dropped onto a worn bench by the lake; it wasn’t as famous a make-out spot as it was back when the campus was younger.

Paper mills up the river fed into the lake and the smell could be pretty bad if the wind was blowing in from the west, which it frequently was. Tonight was quiet enough, though. He leaned back against the gently rotting wood and stared up into the sky. He recognized Orion’s constellation, but he’d been s**t in astronomy last year, so couldn’t have said what the other stars were. They certainly were bright. Beau hesitated, then took one of the Dunhills and flicked his lighter.

Vin shook his head. “That was incredible. Where’d you learn to fight like that?”

“I was a wrestler in high school. Took some martial arts classes to maintain my weight class. Also, grew up on a farm.”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

Beau glanced at him, blew a perfect smoke ring, and smirked. “I can buck seventy-five pound hay bales all afternoon. Tossing around a couple of assholes isn’t that much work, as long as I don’t have to do it for an hour.”

“Still…”

“Nah, it’s no good, man. That guy, he won’t forget. You best watch out for him.”

“There’ll be consequences if he does.” Vinyl took his phone out and opened it up. “Take a look.”

Beau held out his hand and Vin dropped the phone in it; under other circumstances, he might have let his fingers brush against the other guy’s hand, but not tonight. There was something about Beau, something he didn’t want to risk—especially not on his first day. Hell’s bells, this one was better than a lot of first days; he’d seen or heard so many stupid stories, but never a triumph like this.

“You took pictures?” Beau snickered. “That’ll be great when we get arrested for assault.”

“We won’t get arrested for assault. And if we do, I have an excellent lawyer.”

“You have a lawyer?” There was a long hesitation just before the question. Vin sighed. This was going to be one of those conversations. Might as well get it all out of the way at once.

Vinyl sat up and hugged his knees up to his chest. “Technically, I have three on retainer, and that’s not including the ones that are available for consulting for business. Yes, I’m very wealthy, and no, I try not to make a big deal out of it, but I’m not going to apologize for it, either.”

“Wasn’t asking you to,” Beau said. “I just never met any lawyers before.”

“Well, Gerry’s a stand-up guy. And if you get arrested for fighting on my behalf, I’ll cover your expenses.”

“What did you do to that Chris guy, anyway?” Another perfect smoke ring hovered in front of Beau’s firm mouth before dispersing in the breeze.

“He was my frosh roomie,” Vin said. “And I don’t know if he was totally clueless, or just stupid, or what. I never made any attempt to hide my sexuality from him. I mean, I didn’t specifically say, hey, I’m gay, but I wasn’t hiding it, or trying to be something I’m not. I thought we were friends; we hung out a few times, I helped him with some of his classwork—why in the hell would anyone take linear algebra without taking calculus first? And I lent him some money; gave it to him, really. That was probably the big mistake. Halfway through the semester, though, he walked in on one of my boyfriends and me—I really did leave a note on the door, but I dunno, maybe he didn’t see it. Anyway, Chris completely flipped. I dunno what he thought, I was going to ask for the money back in blowjobs or something?” Vin had then volunteered the opinion that he didn’t actually find Chris particularly attractive; which while true, had probably been the wrong thing to say.

“Did he get a transfer?” Beau studied his hands. They were obviously the hands of someone who’d done physical labor, and quite a bit of it. His nails were dirty, ragged, and had probably never actually been filed. The kind of guy who trimmed his nails with a pocketknife. Or chewed them to the quick. Vin shivered, aroused and not wanting to be. Not yet. Not quite yet.

“Yeah, but we had to stay roomies for the rest of the semester. As soon as break came, he was switched out with someone who was going for a semester abroad. I had a double to myself the rest of the year. Which wasn’t what I intended when I decided to live on campus, really. He wasn’t around much anyway, after that. I think he took to sleeping at one of his friend’s rooms. I’m not sure that wasn’t gayer; go from sharing a room with one guy to sharing a room with two? Whatever.”

Beau started to shake, his hands trembling. The tip of his cigarette jittered around, the smoke swirling up into the evening breeze. “So, you’re saying I shouldn’t tell my roommate?”

“I’m saying people can be assholes. Sometimes you can tell who’s going to be a prick about it and who is cool. But people surprise you. They always will.” Vin shifted, hesitated, put his arm around Beau’s shoulders. “I wish I could promise things would be okay, but no one can. All I can say is that some days are better than others.”

“Epic,” Beau said. The shaking grew worse and Beau swallowed several times, gulping air. “I don’t…man, I hate feeling stuff, you know?” Tears formed up at the corners of his eyes and he rubbed at them, smearing grime over the angled planes of his cheeks.

“Yeah, but it’s okay to feel. People can be shitty. You might have to accept that, but you don’t have to feel good about it,” Vin said.

“And when it’s you?” Beau asked. He wiped his nose with the back of his hand, sniffling loudly.

Vin frowned, brushed a tangle of his curls out of his eyes. “I’m a s**t?”

“No!” Beau leaned back, the tears momentary held off, and punched Vin lightly in the arm. “You’re great, man. I mean me. I’m the shit.”

“Because you’re gay, or because you’ve been getting into fights to avoid facing it?”

“That obvious?”

“Dude, you didn’t hesitate,” Vin said. He lit another smoke, making a mental face to cut back tomorrow, and inhaled a long, smooth breath, the tang of rich English tobacco over his tongue. “Take all the martial arts classes you want, there’s a difference between lecture and lab. I’d say you’ve been brawling.”

Beau nodded. “I’m on probation here at school; I have a juvie record. If I get in any legal trouble, I can probably kiss any shot of graduating good-bye.”

Vin whistled low through his teeth. “That sucks, dude. So that’s a no on posting these pictures?”

The Look, it was painful. Vin held up his hands in surrender.

“Seriously. You’re not a bad person, not because you’re gay, and not because you’ve been getting into fights. Being openly gay…it’s hard, man. Trust me, dude, you do not want to be gay in high school, even if you go to boarding school—which I did. I can’t imagine what it must be like in public high school. But being in the closet, that’s hard, too. Pretending to be something you’re not. Wondering who knows, who’s guessed, and never feeling like you belong anywhere. The fighting, that comes out of that conflict. But now—”

“I’m still conflicted.”

“It’ll get better.”

Beau just stared at him, then the tears finally spilled over, and Vin found himself holding a weeping boy, all the traces of the man, cool and collected, were gone, and Beau was a frightened child, terrified of himself, of what people would think and do.

“Dude. You gotta come to the meeting next week. I promise, it’ll help.”