Become The Writer

Questions , just more questions.

I have so many more questions to ask her. So many things that don’t add up. So she says she didn’t know until she woke up to check up on my sister. But… she had also said she knew when we took them. Yes. This could be considered as a thought of what happened in the moment. But, what person takes heavy drugs like medication for someone who has seizures and their body doesn’t react right away to something that shouldn’t be in their system. How did she not notice something wrong with her daughter. Wrong with me? What was her plan? To kill us both? Wouldn’t be the first time she tried to kill a sibling of mine.

At the time of this occurrence. I was the age of two, and my sister was the age of one. Back then, the pill bottles did not have the sealed locked caps that they do have now. Yet the Bottle of medication that she said we took was my father’s prescription. Seizure medication for Tonic-clinic seizures, as known as grand mal. My father had them very often. It is what eventually killed him in 2008. She didn’t know it was in his items, yet it is something he needs daily. Over the years my mother has said repeatedly that we thought they were candy. So how is it that she knew that we thought it was candy? Because if she did know, she would have to take us to the hospital and explain that she had a mental breakdown and fed us pills. Like the mental breakdown she had while she choked my sister Kelsey with my thick winter black scarf I got for Christmas at my grandparents house. The day I open that silver wrapping paper and found a soft black scarf, one of my first ones I ever owned. My mother didn’t get me stuff very often and when she did it was used , two sizes too small. Kelsey’s legs struggling under my mother’s body as she tightened the scarf. My mother was mounted on top of my sister telling her to stop and to relax. That she is just restraining her, that this is what they taught her. My sister recently has been having really bad anger issues and has been having a lot of help come to the home for her. My mother was learning earlier to only restrain when necessary, when a child is ready to self harm or harm those around them. I understood this, but my mother did not. The first fit my sister had that day and my mother just lost it. I had to fight her off of her. Kelsey then became my problem for the night since I intervened while she was trying to calm her down. My ways were a little different. I took my sisters mattress and pulled it out into the hallway and pushed it up against her door and stood there for hours as my sister screamed at the top of her lungs, kicked, threw items, spit, and even made sure to let me know she hated me. I didn’t want to harm my sister like my mother. I loved her. I loved her like my own. Little did I know she never loved me. Like daughter, like mother? Did my sister inherit my mother’s evil ways?