Apocalypse is Certain

Trying to Understand

It wasn't long before he woke up again. This time he did not wake up out of a nightmare but the shock of the last time he had woken up was still as fresh as if he had not slept at all since then. He had been of the belief that sleep is the ultimate remedy for every stress. He had experience of falling asleep even before exams for which he had prepared nothing at all. In the college, some subjects used to be too boring to be prepared for the exams. However, for those exams too, stress on the evening before the exam was unavoidable. In fact, the lack of preparation would come together with the total lack of idea about the inclusion in the syllabus to haunt the mind on the last evening before the exam. He had developed a capability to avoid worries about exams based on such subject from coming close to his mind. However, that capability would vanish during the last twelve hours or so just before the exam is to be faced. A t that point, the ultimate weapon to fight the stress used to be sleep. The person who could have never been expected to go to bed before it was midnight used to fall asleep just after early dinner whenever such an exam was next on the date sheet. The mental tension of not having anything in mind to write on the paper the next day never interfered with his urge to fall asleep early on such occasions. It was not that he ditched his studies always. It was just that he could not be just with all his subjects. There were some subjects he did not like at all and he would never try to develop a liking for them. He still could not tell how he actually passed the exams based on those subjects. However, falling asleep no longer seemed to be a stress buster. Never had he taken that long to fall asleep in case he had stress and never had he failed so desperately to wake up free from the mental stress he fell asleep with. Apparently, it had been just the influence of a nightmare. However, the unprecedented response his mind was giving to this fear that was not at all clear yet to the conscious mind had made it almost clear to him that something more than a nightmare had happened. But it was still not understandable how his memory could fail him so awfully, and that too in regards to something that had definitely shaken his thoughts.

It was usual to stay in bed for long even after getting awake in the morning. In fact, he used to enjoy it. He used to set alarm for 6 am when he had to be up and moving at 7. The pleasure of lying half asleep in bed for an hour was equivalent to having slept throughout the night. However, it was different today. He was lying in his bed with open eyes.  The body and the mind seemed to have got paralyzed. Lying in bed seemed far from being enjoyable. The mind was not just disturbed, it was rather terrorized. A strong urge to understand the situation was very clear but he could not dare to try to remember what had happened in the nightmare that had woken him up. He was not even sure whether the fear of the situation that he had experienced was the real cause of the enormous load his mind was facing or it was his inability to convince his mind to try to analyze the situation that made him confused enough to feel great stress. Something in the sub-conscious said that trying to analyze the situation will be too painful to tolerate.

He had no account of time and did not know how long he had kept on lying like a dead mat on his bed, at least dead mentally. It was hard to understand whether the mind was not ready to think or he did not want it to think. Finally, it was not tolerable any more to be passive like that. Resolved to convince himself that a nightmare after all would have been a nightmare, he got up from the bed, picked the bottle of water from the table and landed on the sofa that had been more like his home for about one year now. He had bought it second hand from a neighbor in November last year. It was one of the most satisfactory occasions in his life that he could remember of. The urge to be successful is absolutely common among human beings. There can be different yardsticks for measuring success but there is one thing gives the satisfaction of being successful, up to whatever extent, to a person. It is the ability of a person to possess something by spending self earned money. Buying something using money earned by a person, particularly in the very initial stages of professional career, is a kind of satisfaction which has the ability to please a person irrespective of the significance of the thing bought as well as its price tag. A billionaire has no way to feel more excited in buying the latest sports car for his son on his 18th birthday than a laborer who has just spent his hard earned money in buying a used bicycle to be able to drop his six year old son to school every morning. The same excitement on his part had accompanied the arrival of this sofa in the house. After the demise of his parents while he was still in the 2nd year of his college, he had managed his studies with the little amount he had inherited and the little earning he got through tuition he gave to students he could manage to find. At the end of his masters, there was a bed, a chair and a table in the name of furniture in the small studio apartment his father had somehow managed to buy some years ago. It might seem to be too modest but the apartment had acted as a lifeline for him. It had given him the freedom to choose not to be a burden of any of his relatives, none of whom had been close enough to even offer sincerely to support him when his parents left him all alone in the world. The hopes of getting a wonderful job following his university education did not take too long to crash and he had to accept whatever came his way. The appointment letter had somehow given him some sort of excitement but the first salary was unable to incite any sort of vibrancy initially. The next day was Sunday and it was in the evening that day that he decided to find excitement in the meager salary he got. He was sitting in the only chair he had in the house. He had removed only one shoe and had the other shoe untied but yet on. He was contemplating how he would be able to manage with this job with the meager salary he still had in his pocket. But just like the influence the ‘dust of snow’ falling on Frost’s shoulder from a Hemlock tree, the first sip of water he took gave him an utterly unexpected change in mood. He suddenly got reminded of the last time he had a party with Jacky and Somu. Somu had been sitting in this very chair the entire evening and had kept on struggling to make himself comfortable. The reminder had an effect that could not be considered short of being magical. The salary that had seemed painful to him just a few moments ago gave him multiple ways to celebrate the occasion. He was instantly ready to feel the excitement that the certain laborer would feel while bringing the newly bought used bicycle home and anticipating all the way how excited his six year old would be to see the mean of conveyance that would not only save him from walking to the school every day but also to enjoy the ride alongside his father. He hurriedly put on the shoes again. First thing he did was to call Somu and Jacky to tell them that they were meeting at his apartment at 8 pm. He rushed straightaway to the neighbor 3 doors away who had told him a couple of days ago that he was going to sell his old sofa as he had ordered a new one. The old uncle had not wished to get parted from the sofa for another week since his new sofa was yet to be ready but he was able to convince the uncle. He was so excited about his possession that he gave no notice to the extent up to which this uncle’s house was bigger than his single room apartment. The uncle’s son was kind enough to help him in carrying the sofa to his apartment. He set it in the middle of the room and then left for the market nearby. His excitement was yet not over. The excitement was not just about getting a new possession. He was feeling even more excited to feel that he was actually giving a sort of gift to Somu. Somu was exceptionally fond of the time the three friends would spend together. His apartment was a perfect setting for such meetings except that neither the bed nor the chair he had could offer the relaxed position that is required for thoroughly enjoying such meetings. Somu used to be particularly disturbed due to the straight posture the chair would force him to manage. The party that he had just planned would be the most comfortable they had ever had in the apartment. But this was not all for his excitement. This was also going to be the first party sponsored fully by him. So, the salary now seemed to be an occasion to celebrate, better than all he had had ever.

And, since then, the sofa had served as his address for the day time. He used to be in its lap from morning till the time he had to shift to the bed to ensure that he could spread his legs a bit better while sleeping. He had even bought a television now but buying it had not given him the pleasure that buying the sofa had. The television had, however, been as significant a partner in his life as had been the sofa. It too had contributed significantly in bearing the absolutely mediocre life he could manage for himself. He had done masters in Computer Applications after having heard from lots of people that the course would definitely secure for him a reputable job. The best job he could bag for himself, however, was the one offering just fifteen thousand a month. Had the apartment not been part of his inheritance from his parents, the rent of this place would have taken at least one third of what he got at the beginning of the month.

He was now ready to confront what had actually happened. He tried to think about the last evening. The last thing he did before falling asleep was to turn the television off. The last thing telecast on the television that he had seen was the Prime Minister’s address to the nation. The PM had told the nation that the policy related to the establishment of direct connection between the farmers and the supermarkets was underway; the foreign minister has been assigned the task to deal strongly with the aggression shown by the neighboring country lately; and the project for super-fast train will be flagged next month. After the address was over, he had scolded himself for having wasted so much time in listening to it. After all, none of such addresses ever seemed to include something that could possibly interest him in any way. But now he could also remember very clearly to have heard the news of death of the foreign minister. If the PM’s address was the last thing he listened to just before going to bed, how and where did he hear the news of the Foreign Minster’s death? No, it was not something he could have heard in the nightmare. The memory was too clear. He also remembered how shocked he had felt on hearing it and how he had discussed it in details with Jacky. He could also remember that Somu was not part of that discussion. And, it was also certain that he had not heard it on TV.

It was too confusing. What was the date today? He felt too tired to fetch the mobile phone from the table. He tried to think what date it was. He was not worried about not being sure of the exact date. The confusion was that he could think of two dates. And one of the two dates seemed to be… impossible!

Trying to think of today’s date or day can very easily become difficult. The mobile phones, after all, have consistently been working to make human beings totally dependent on it for such basic pieces of information. However, one could still get at least a close idea about what date and what day it is taking hints from things like what happened on the previous day, what has been planned for the coming days, what is yet due and how many days have passed since an important event. He was also trying the same. But the two dates that were so convincingly present themselves as the possible dates for the day were too huge a mismatch. And, then, out of the two dates, about one he seemed to be sure. The PM’s address was being advertised for days before it actually held. And, one of the things he was sure of was that he had woken up on the morning that followed the evening of the address. But despite all the logic, he could not feel sure that it was actually the date today. The reason was that the claim of the other date appeared to be, somewhat, more convincing. The other date actually was just the kind of idea that we usually form around a date on the basis of logic based on things we could remember clearly to have happened. Despite being just an idea encompassing a period of about a week, the mind seemed to tilt towards that idea against the accurate date of the PM’s address. 

But the real reason for which this ‘other’ date was confusing him was something else. The ‘date’ could not possibly be part of his life already. The ‘date’ belonged to the time that, according to his conscious knowledge was still two years away, in future.