Mauyan's Secret

WILL I EVER BE ENOUGH?

It's been several months that Dawson asked me to be his girlfriend. Although, he never for once stopped disturbing me about it. Farida has equally been on my neck to accept him. Well, today is the day we will resume for Senior High School and I have been thinking whether today would be the day I would finally agree to be Dawson's girlfriend.

I dressed up with so much excitement hoping to see Dawson when I get to school. The honest truth is, I do not know why I am so excited to see him but one thing is for sure, I have surely missed him (for the brief break we had from school). I have even recently been enjoying all of the attention he gives to me. Imagine having the hottest guy in school having his eyes on only you, despite all the girls throwing themselves at him (even our seniors).

However, I still have serious doubts about myself and Dawson being in a relationship. I still think I do not stand a chance compared to other pretty girls in school who are drooling over him. Well, I would just have to wait and see what happens. By the way, my parents rule still stands that I must not have a boyfriend yet. I really do not like hiding things from them especially my mum but if I end up accepting Dawson. I would surely hide it as my little secret (I smiled to myself).

Few minutes later, I was in school. Dawson was not yet around neither was Farida. I felt guilty for not anticipating to see my best friend as much as I want to see my prospective boyfriend (I chuckled).

"I must be really silly", I said to myself

I do not even know if he still loves me after all months I have kept him waiting and I still have the guts to call him my prospective boyfriend.

"What is making the beauty queen smile so bright?", I heard Farida tease behind me

" Hey Stubborn, don't you ever keep me waiting this long...Come here I miss you baby", I stood-up to give her a hug.

Farida's phone actually became faulty before we went for the break so I had to reach her, every time, through her mom's cellphone which I soon got tired of; because I didn't like the way I was disturbing the poor woman. Farida called me with her mom's phone a few times too but our discussion was not so elaborate compared to when she uses her own phone. We couldn't have our regular gists (like Dawson’s talks), I thought to myself and chuckled again.

"Lover girl, are you lost in transit again or what's with the chuckle?", Farida teased

"Nothing, I remembered something", I tried to wave it off..."but wait, did you just call me Lover girl?"

"Well, yes!", Farida said with a knowing smile. "You think I don't know what you were thinking of that was making you chuckle and blush green?"

"Okay! what was I thinking about?", I confronted Farida jokingly

"Well, you tell me, who were you thinking about?", she asked me instead

"Well, who was I thinking aboutttt errrrrrh...", I started to fumble with words

"Yes! who were you thinking about?", I heard that sweet voice

"Dawsonn", I said under my breath like I was just seeing him for the first time in my life

"Hey babes", Dawson greeted Farida and I cheerfully with that breathtaking smile of his

"I missed you guys", he said casually

"We missed you too", Farida said happily

I, on my own, remained transfixed, like I am staring at an angel, goshh!! This guy is beautiful!!!

"Back to you Mauyan, who were you thinking about?", I heard Dawson say and I immediately came out of my illusion

"Well, I I I I I I think I was thinking about you", I said surprising myself, Farida and even Dawson

"Someone is finally speaking my language", Dawson said instead

"At this point, I think I have to excuse you both...See ya!!", Farida suddenly used her flash skills and disappeared before I could even protest. Oh! What a stupid friend I have, what will I do now? My smart mouth is too fast. Why did I say that for crying out loud?

"Mauyan, are you okay?", I heard Dawson call me with so much concern in his voice.

"Yes, Yes, I am fine", I said with lightening speed. "You know what, I think we need to talk"

"Follow me babe", Dawson said and starting moving

I trailed behind him not even doubting where he was taking me to. After we walked for some minutes, I discovered he was leading me towards the cafeteria. When we got there, he got soft drinks for us which I objected to but knowing Dawson, he never listens. Now it was time to talk and it seemed my tongue was glued to my mouth and is refusing to move. Well, I have to say this now or never. 1, 2, 3, go!

"Okay! Dawson, I want to ask if you still want me to be your girlfriend?"

"My God!!! Mauyan, are you for real now? I want you like yesterday", he said obviously very excited

"Well, then you have to ask again physically", I said wanting to see his non-verbal expressions while he asks me to be his girlfriend. Something tells me his gesticulation would be fun to watch.

"Mauyan, you know I would ask you even in my sleep. I mean, this is the same question I have been asking you for months now...Who wouldn't want a diamond like you Mauyan, please, be mine, will you be my girlfriend?", he said with so much passion in his eyes.

"This feels like a dream, I have doubts, I have fears", I said to myself yet, I still proceeded to say, "Yes, Dawson, I would be your girlfriend but I have fears and doubts", I said with a shaky voice

"What are your fear baby", he said with concern clear in his voice

"My parents must not know about this, also, what would I do about all these ladies that flock around you? I am not even as pretty as they are", I lamented

"Shhhhhhhhhh!!!! Don't say that again, you are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen...I love you so much and I only have eyes for you. About your parents, they won't know for now", he said confidently

"What do you mean for now", I challenged him playfully

"Well, for now means, they won't know until I make so much money then come to introduce myself to them as a prospective husband", he said with so much pride

"You are not serious, talking about marriage at this tender stage. I said yes just now, remember?" I said trying to sound serious

"And who told you that we won't last till then", he replied

"Well, let's watch the space", I replied

"So, can I get a hug now girlfriend?" He said with pleading eyes

"Emmmmmm!!! Okay", we both stood up from our chairs as I hugged him and he responded. It felt strange hugging my first boyfriend but I guess I would have to get used to it (I smiled to myself).

Despite how happy I was about Dawson and I finally being together, one thought still kept on creeping into my mind, "WILL I EVER BE ENOUGH?"