Immortality (English)

Humor

        So maybe I'm that famous for surviving, vampire bite that they can't wait for me to die as soon as possible. After a month in and out of consciousness stay at the hospital, the shelter's general oriented us about an infiltration mission to the central command of those bats in our country. Turned out they've got Intel about the High Emperor's location. How they got it was thanks to Noelle. She is indeed remarkable on thinking of tapping the communication lines of those bats. She was so confident as the tapped conversation was played during our orientation. 

        Noelle had been serious all these time on finding the central command of those bats ever since the declaration France's falling. Most of Europe had turned to bats, or became slaves to them, France of course was the last to do so. But when it succumb many followed. After the their fall the vampires started this communications and broadcasts about how they would spare those who voluntarily submit to them. They also started shows of how humans can live their lives at peace with vampires by being their mates. 

        Vampires can not mate with each other, but can copulate with a human girl. It was as if being a bat is a new life style now. They started luring humans to turn voluntarily or be one of those whom they call companion. Europe was the trend-setter even pre-Vampire time but how can they turn their back to humanity that fast? And that enraged Noelle so to the point that she found a way to stop the broad cast not only in our country but the world. The death of the high emperor would make those bats realize that being like them is not what humanity wanted from the start.

        "So we leave in what, two weeks?" I asked drinking my tea being sarcastic about the whole situation. "I was just discharged from the hospital three days ago, and you expect me to go on a mission?" I was looking head on to the general. It wasn't like I was being selfish but fighting with my men was different than fighting with these girls. And seeing the blood lust in Xed's eyes that night had made me wake up screaming at night for the last three days. Trust me, stress, fatigue and nightmares aren't a good combination.

        "Fran you offered to rescue those kids two years ago." Noelle argued. "What makes this mission any different?"

        I sighed and pulled the sleeve of my hoodie to show her the scar on my left arm where the bones stuck out two years ago. I also unzipped my hoodie just enough to show them the bite mark that was still a bit swollen. "This war didn't just battered my body. If this war can heal my nightmares as easy as healing my wounds, I'd take you out of this shelter as easy as a snap of his finger. Noelle, you are a spy, you infiltrate, but you don't kill a comrade because he's bitten. I've seen men dying...and I won't be the one to take you to your deaths." I was so afraid of seeing them dead in from of me that they can call me a coward. "General, if you may ask me, I'd like to take a handful of my men to participate on this mission. Take this girls out of it. I know my team can handle such."

        I saw the pity from the general's eyes. He would let me do it I know, but I also know that each of these girls are vital to the mission. And the mission wasn't to conquer and to destroy like most of what I do. "I'm sorry Major, you cannot handle this alone with your rough necks. These ladies had volunteered for this mission and they have their specific role to play once you arrived at the Malacaniang palace. Queencie knows that place like the back of her hand. Mushka and Noelle knows how to get in without being seen, and Major Chealsea can fly you there. We need you to kill the high emperor since I know personally your strength." He said as charismatic as possible. I know that sweet talk because I do it all the time to my men. "These girls volunteered, help them come back alive."

        Those last words pushed me off the cliff of sanity. They volunteered to a suicide mission, and as crazy as I am that the general knows, I'll protect them with my life. "If anyone of you dies on me, I'll kill you twice. Got that?" I said eyeing the four of them as they stopped themselves from smiling. And with irritation, I stood up and walked out.

        "Thank you for convincing her sir." Noelle said in her perky voice. "You'll never regret it." That was all that I heard because I started running. 

        I am not afraid of dying, I've been almost dead two times now. And I can say that dying isn't my worst fear. Being in this war had given me nightmares that only Xed's visits can stop. I can sleep easily when he visits me even if we tried killing each other at times. Killing him in vampire form was easier than seeing my loved ones' corps, dead because of this war. I'm not afraid of dying...I'm afraid of being alone. And for the last three days I haven't seen anything but their fear stricken faces lifeless covered with blood as Xed's blood lust raged on. My Mom would always wake me before I could kill him...but I never could kill him...because I love him...I love him still. I am not afraid of dying. I am afraid of losing him.

        I ended up running towards the training grounds. I needed to train and exhaust myself before I could pass out. I couldn't sleep even if I try. I needed to be exhausted other wise I'll just toss and turn in my bed all night. I started running on the oval for a several round. My mind started to wander. I started to think of how I missed running my hand on his long hair. How I wanted to kiss him again. I was longing for him, so bad that I suddenly saw his back appear in front of me causing me to stop abruptly.

        "Xed?" I asked trying to catch my breath.

        He suddenly looked up and turned. "What the...where am I?" he asked looking around. His expression turned from utter confusion to surprised. "Did you call me here?" He asked taking a step forward toward me, whilst I took a step back.

        "I did not do anything." I said wide-eyed. "Why would I want you here?" I denied. Truth be told I wanted to see him, because I missed him.

        Xed smirked, he knows I'm lying. "You are still a bad liar." what he said made me blush. "Today will mark the two year time line we talked about, now here we are  mated, finally."

        "What do you mean by that." I asked. "We are not mated."

        He just shrugged, "Being connected telepathically is a sure sign. Though it seems you're still human." he said observing me. "How did you remain human, after all the things that predisposed you on being like me."

        "That is easy, I don't want to be like you." I said flatly. "Now get out of my mind." I snapped at him being irritated. It's weird, how I hate and love him at the same time. If I'm not seeing him I feel like dying with loneliness, and now that I am seeing him I feel so annoyed by his quirkiness. 

        Chuckling he looked at me full of defiance, "How rude of you. You called me here. Now you are forcing me to go as well? I am in your head, no one will see me. You'll be lucky if they wouldn't think you're a loon."  he said sarcastically. I suddenly got self conscious. I looked around and saw some people doing their own business. Then I decided to walk home, he followed me. "It's a vampire and their mate thing. I've seen it happening to my people and yours. They can be mates you know."

        "I though mates are only for werewolves or animal related beings." I murmured trying to not to let people see me talk, remembering the hype decades ago. All of the teen either wanted to be a vampire or a werewolf.

        "I think they failed on making a sentient wolfman. So...I wouldn't really know about them." He said now looking beside me. "It's weird, I could smell you and feel you if you're allowing me, but it was so difficult for me to find you."

        'How come I am allowing this?' I thought to myself. "I actually don't want you here, so why aren't you leaving."

        He chuckled once again, "Well, first of all, yes, you are allowing this by instinct. You can deny it all you want but you know to yourself that you love me. And your subconscious is the one allowing it. You missed me so bad, huh?"

        He was taunting and teasing me like back in the day, back then I would have just given him a bite, but things are different now. We are different now. I decided to go on my own apartment, I have a separate housing that I rarely use since my nightmares. I haven't been in it for weeks, thank goodness my mother hired cleaners to maintain it otherwise it'll be a mess. Whether I like it or not, Xed was tagging along.

        Upon opening the door, her strolled in like he owned the place. My apartment was not that big. It was a single-roomed type standard, given to unmarried officials of the military, I would usually stay in the apartment to heal my scars before going home to my mother.  

        "So this will be our secret spot?" He asked wiggling his brows being playful. He sat himself down, and looked around. "It's so minimalistic."

        "We don't have luxuries here. We only live with what is necessary in order to survive." I said in a serious tone. "And I brought you here so I wouldn't have to explain to people why I am talking to myself again without my ARM."

        "The thing that made you hit me?" He asked looking at my arm, I was wearing a hoody. "Good riddance,"

        "I don't need to use it for now. I am not participating in any military work until further notice." I said standing a few meters away from him. I looked out the window. We have been evacuated far enough from the new wall but most of the village was still using the bunker underground. Then all of a sudden I started having palpitations as I saw images of what happed in my head. I know what was happening to me is PTSD, I started to hyperventilate as the images began to become visions.

        Xed became alarmed and came near me. "Hey what's wrong." he asked worried. He wanted to touch me but I slapped his hand away.

        "Stay the hell away from me." I said in a panicked voice, still hyperventilating. I crouched down, trying to make myself as small as possible. Then the tears came, I started sobbing. "Make it stop." I covered my ears as I heard screams.

        I didn't know what he saw when our skin touched but his expression changed from sadness to rage to utter defeat. "I did this, I'm so sorry." He said sitting exhausted in front of me. "I was a monster that day. I couldn't control myself. I just wanted you."

        We stayed in that position for a little while, until I was okay, "I thought I'll not be having that," wiping my tears from my face, "I'm so messed up."

        "I messed you up." he said bitterly. "I'm so sorry. I think it's best for me to go not to trigger anything else." he was about to stand when I stopped him by holding his hand.

        "Stay, I wouldn't be okay in away that I try." I said finally realizing what really was my trigger. It was me denying my love for the person I want to be with the most--him. He looked at me lovingly and nodded. "It's like your physically here, but you're not."

        "I call it astral projecting, you know out of body experience." He said sitting next to me on the floor. "When I became a vampire I realized that I could tap into hundred percent of our minds' capacity. I could do things other vampires couldn't do since I was first one made."

        I started leaning on him. "But...you said this thing is only for mates?"

        "I didn't think it was possible for a vampire to nonvampire couple to have this kind of connection, they can interact with dreams but that's just about it. So, when you called me, you caught me off guard. Hence I was surprised." he confessed. "I don't want this war you know. I just want you." He said looking into my eyes. "But humans are stubborn."

        "Tell me about it." I said sarcastically, "All I wanted was to keep them safe, but they have this ways of getting themselves killed." I sighed. 

         "I could take you away from here you know." He suggested.

        "You know I can't do that. They'd think I'm a traitor for loving you. I'll stay here as long as I'm human."

        "Then I'll change you."

        "I won't allow it. I can't thirst for blood while my family is here."

        He sighed and leaned his head on mine, "So your happiness is not an option huh?" I answered with a nod. "You and your humanity will be the death of you."

        A chortle escaped from me, "Can we cuddle, I haven't slept without nightmares waking me up."

        He looked at me, smiled, and assisted me up. We walked silently to my single bed and sat side by side. He then proceeded to occupy the bed, trying to scoot over to give me space, "We can do more than just cuddles you know." he said cheekily. 

        "I wouldn't have s*x alone in this bed, Xed." I said dead serious and tired.

        He laughed and kissed my forehead, "You're not the only celibate here." He said, "wait, we could have s*x in our mind like we used to. We can dream share if you allow it." he suggested.

        "I don't know how I can allow it." yawning, I snuggled into his side. I haven't felt this sleepy without worrying abut my nightmares. "Now, shut up I want to sleep." I closed my eyes into deep dreamless slumber. I was craving for sometime now, to be utterly at peace.