Loving His Broken Luna

Chapter 51 - Read with Caution

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Renee

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Renee’s eyes darted around the space, certain coves were lit well now, the edge of the cliff bled together with the edge of the mirroring valley. She couldn’t stop herself from seeing it. The specifics, all she tried to hide or at least hide from…

And then there was the deal maker… and breaker, promising a way out.

“I can make it all go away,” Jason promised. “You’ll never see it again. You’ll never have to feel it,” he broke off, “ whatever it is.”

Even with his earnest sincerity, Renee couldn’t be sure. Their partnership, if it could even be considered one, was flimsy at best.

Part of her wanted this release, but at what cost? Letting him free? Letting him off the hook for what he did?

“You can’t,” Renee shook her head, trying to regain her cool.

“Why do you hold onto it if it hurts you?” he challenged, his expressions schooled.

Renee fought to move past it. She did. The last eleven years of her life were dedicated to disposing of these dark secrets, but in truth they’ve never left. Too many times piled on top of this one. They broke her too many times to seek help, or even believe it was on the way.

“People don’t want reality,” she whispered, almost inaudible. “They want fantasy.”

Renee could feel both Colla and Jason’s eyes on her. Honestly, Kris’ too, by way of imagination. The sight of his wolf watching her that night hid dutifully in her mind too.

“If it helps,” Colla murmured, breaking Renee’s concentration. “We’re not people.”

The thought of which tipped the scale; it broke her train of thought.

They weren’t people. She was a living stone! Her demon was exactly that and a werewolf was now in her charge. None of them were actual ‘people’.

The thought of which evened the playing field.

“Fine,” Renee took that as a ‘you can do this’ pitch. “Fine, fine… Fine. But you can’t say anything.”

Again, she was promised by Colla and Kris, followed by Jason who strangely offered to make his deal after the information was presented.

Renee shook her head as Kris leaned into him.

“Why can’t you have one conversation without haggling with her?” Kris questioned. “Huh?” he didn’t allow Jason to answer before adding, “This is hard for her but you’ve gotta get yours right?”

Jason raised his eyebrow at Renee, then rolled his eyes about Kris’ comment.

“Stop, okay?” Renee murmured to Jason. “Kris isn’t your enemy. I am.”

“You’re not,” Jason replied, crossing into the center of the clearing to stand in front of her. “You have to know that.”

Renee shook her head.

“I’m the villain of my story,” she assured him as his warm hands cupped her frail palms.

“Don’t say that,” Jason murmured sincerely.

“I am,” Renee assured him. “Why else would they treat me like this?”

Jason’s eyes darkened, clearly knowing her path over the last three and a half weeks.

“What happened here?” he nearly growled. “You have my word I will not speak of this.”

… But?

“For a deal?”

“No,” he replied evenly. “But I cannot promise that no harm will come to them.”

“You won’t attack them or put them in danger,” Renee warned. “Their weakness is not your own.”

The hot press of his thumbs rubbing against the tops of her hands, catching against the tiny bones within them was unnerving. Gentle really wasn’t Jason’s thing or so she noticed this far. Every attempt to be nice came with a price, minus the towel he’d offered at the beginning of the month…

“Someday you’ll trust me, little one,” Jason murmured softly.

His voice sounded warm and inviting, like a promise of shelter.

“Someday,” Renee repeated, “I’ll trust myself.”

“Hmm,” Jason hummed as he closed the space between them.

“You’re not alone, Casanova,” Colla rolled her eyes. “We can all take it, Renee,” she added. “Try to remember our parents have put us through hell too.”

Renee exhaled as she turned to look back at where her father took her, far beyond Jason’s shoulder, looking into the woods.

“‘I’m sorry if it comes off in pieces. This was really stressful for me,” Renee tried not to hyperventilate. “I was a kid. Maybe five when my dad shoved me out of a moving vehicle,” Renee could see it all happening as she spoke.

The younger version of herself, trying to accept the road below. The angle of the vehicle, how dangerous the situation could have been if he dragged her between the doors.

Renee blinked hard to keep the images of her memory moving forward, not wanting to linger.

“I’m going to kill him,” she numbly heard him holler, trying to release her hands as he moved.

Only, she wasn’t done.

Renee trapped his hands individually with hers.

“The road used to come through here,” she added. “This wasn’t wooded. This is where I fell,” she explained.

“How?” Colla questioned, worried. “This place has been this way for… for…”

“Eleven years,” Renee murmured. “My dad knows people. It’s not the first time he had to cover his tracks; knew just who to call to clean up. Or in this case, rebuild.”

Jason’s skin began to burn where she still held him.

“You wanted it…” Renee snarled.

“But you were just a baby,” Kris sounded like he swallowed his tongue, or stubbed his toe… or both.

“An unwanted baby,” Renee replied, feeling dead inside. “It was very clear up until then and wasn’t the first time they tried to get rid of me either.”

Unable to show much more emotion about it, Renee proceeds to take them through the next trial.

“Forcing yourself not to skid on gravel is doable but not easy. I remember picking gravel out of my skin for days after. Dad drove off. I guess he thought his problem was gone,” she paused, carrying her attention past the fallen logs. “Back then I knew the woods and my way back home wherever they abandoned me.”

“Goddess…” Kris angrily growled.

“That time though, I needed time.”

“You were five!” Colla hollered, sounding more like a muffled whisper.

“I didn’t try to go home. I stayed here. A day went by. Then the night. I half expected to be eaten by a bear or something, but nothing came. By the second day I ate some leaves and got sick. Dad came back, pulled me up by my hair to yell at me. Then pulled me around to teach me a lesson, then shoved me off the side.”

Renee’s stomach turned as she tried her best to look over the valley again.

“By the time I pulled myself up, I found the door to the backseat open. It meant only one thing. A ride back. I took it as him being sorry, but it was a heroic act pulling in with me finally home.”

“Even though he was the reason for losing you?” Jason growled, fiercely taking Renee by storm.

“No one knew what happened,” she murmured, feeling numb. “First rule of living with them was knowing my place; that I didn’t have one.”

Jason’s lips crashed into hers, desperate for the story to stop it seemed. He’d gone searching for details in the past, excited for the chase before, but this time as his teeth clashed against hers, his tongue laving madly tangling with hers, it felt different now.

It felt like his energy was diving into her being, that he was separating the pain from the reasons and the time from the space. Bit by bit the memory had been scraped out of existence. The image of her young self turned to stand bravely in the eye of danger when she finally pushed against his chest.

The threat of losing that girl ate at her.

His lips, his hold, his need all continued to erase her when the rough wallop of cut stone barreled into their kiss, splitting the two of them abruptly.

“You better have a real good reason for that, quartz girl,” Jason sneered as he wiped the trickle of his own blood from his lips.

Jason’s tongue licked a stripe over his teeth, checking to see if any other damage had been done before spitting out another mouthful of blood.

“R4pe doesn’t just mean d**k in hole, psychopath,” Colla retorted. “She wanted you to stop.”

Daze, Renee stumbled backwards. Her vision flitted around, broken, filling her with worry.

“Don’t go…” she whispered. “I need you.”