Loving His Broken Luna

Chapter 30

It’s gross how much she wants this.

His words, his message, they’re more intimidating than he is. Somewhere in the back of his mind she knows he’s on autopilot, drawing at straws to see just what part of her will crack again. What’ll do it though? Food? A fair weather friend? Becoming an object to possess?

Certainly the later, especially now that he paved the way for that wh0re’s rejection. She shouldn’t feel like this. Not even kind of.

He should still repulse her, besides the obvious link of attraction. That was only one link in the chains he used to keep her in line… but now? Now she knows he must have found something after their kiss.

As blank as she was there was still clarity.

“Your mind is reeling,” he murmured beside her. “I can feel you cycling through your choices today.”

Renee bit her lip. Her eyes darted away from him, unable to look him in the eye.

“Tell me how long you’ve craved me,” Jason urged her on. “If it’s the only truth you tell me, admit how good I can be.”

“A demon? Good? Ha!”the voice, Kris’ voice filled her senses.

He sounded as if his windpipe seized, his breath locked in his lungs. Maybe it had but how come she felt at fault for it?

Jason leaned in, pressing his front to hers, pushing her harder still against the side of his door for her attention.

“You want me. That’s why you’re so quick to throw that wench in,” he grunted, clearly affected by her too.

Renee quietly shook her head.

“Don’t lie, he smirked. “It’s obvious. You even admitted it; your feelings for me.”

Her heart pounded and forgot how to all at once.

“Let me make you mine,” he hummed, still moving against her. “Let me make you forget this world for a while. I’ll peel off your stress,” his breath shuddered out of him while his fingers traced the hem of her shirt, “like your clothes. Layer after layer, gone, until you’re free.”

Renee swayed towards him, seeking his warmth, his promises. Each one felt like paradise wrapped in a warmth she’d never known.

“All II need is your truths…”

The zing between Renee’s legs as his length promised her more than his words could, quickly drenched her. The cold sweat to follow is just as alarming.

“I can’t do this,” she breathed, repeating what she promised before.

“Why not…” Jason asked as if he cared.

The softness in his voice started to ebb.

“Baby,” Jason began and she recoiled further.

… There were so many reasons why.

“Please, I can’t do this. I need you to respect that.”

“Good girl,” Kris followed her initiative.

Renee ignored the sound of praise in her ear.

“What even is this?” Renee asked.

“Affection,” Jason swayed with Renee, searching out her lips.

“You’ve been completely out of your element all day,” Renee continued. “This,” she urged herself to look down between their bodies to be sure he was what she was feeling. “This isn’t you.”

“It is me,” Jason urged her to see. “Let me in. Let me make it better.”

Renee closed her eyes in defeat. Was she even real? Why couldn’t anyone hear her? Respect her?

“I hear you…” Kris stammered. “You don’t need this… or him!”

Her defeat burned brighter, like a supernova, then was out in a flash. She became nothing all over again. A drone. A thing. A toy. All for someone else’s pleasure.

Renee’s mind went blank. Her body, cold to the warmth Jason brought. His desired want became nothing more than his. He was just the hot, popular guy, copping a feel. None of which she could resist any better than she was.

His touch isn’t comforting either. Her body hardened to him, his touch became nothing but that. A poke. A prod, searching for pleasure from her. It’s sickening.

“It doesn’t work if you don’t let me in,” he dipped his nose to trace the shell of her ear.

“In? Out?” Renee slurred. “It doesn’t matter…”

“It does,“ Jason promised.

His left hand rolled out of her hold, flicking her off as a warning. Renee’s hand stayed suspended in the air despite how dead she felt inside. If she had the energy to, she would have dropped it. It would have found some way back against him.

Her breath caught again in her throat; her inhale was just as choppy now as her exhale. Not her name, not a thought… nothing came to mind.

“Aren’t you going to tell me your big secret?” Jason made her shudder, as he kissed a stripe of soft pecks along her jaw.

Renee forced herself not to respond; to pretend she didn’t hear him. To pretend she couldn’t feel him.

Her hand trembled back down beside her, looking for anything besides his body to brace herself on. A slip of her finger against the smooth metal caught her off guard, urging a back step, but Jason caught her.

“Where do you think you’re going?” he hummed. “I’m going to get what I came for.”

“Where are you?” Kris whispered in her head.

… It doesn’t matter.

… Why would it?

… I don’t matter.

“You do!” Kris protested, his tone earnest.

Renee fell limp to Jason’s touch. Pliable, but dead weight, as he draped her over his back seat.

“Stop him! Fight back!” Kris wretched, unable to help her.

… Tired.

… Too tired to care.

Jason covered her like the evening swallows the sun. His eyes hungry and lost all at once stared deep within Renee’s glossy gaze, almost as if they were searching her for someone before her world went black.

… There’s nothing to find.

… Just a girl and a shitty situation.

… A small enough account; years of torture.

… Not enough to turn heads.

… Not enough to ask for help.

His body felt like fire, reawakening her senses. It’s not enough to make her want to fight. It is, however, enough to want to stay, to want to feel him. It’s enough to want to be wanted, if even just for a little while, until he’s done and she’s discarded.

… Again.