Chapter 24
1275 Words
Are you crazy?” Helen’s kind face was shocked. “You’re actually thinking about saying no to this guy? Why?”
Sarah glanced over at Noah, but he was absorbed in eating his lunch.
“Because I’m not sure that agreeing to a relationship that’s on a clock, right from the word go, is the best idea.”
“What’s the alternative?” Helen asked. “No relationship at all?”
“Well…”
“Sarah, all relationships are on a clock. Don’t you get that? When two people start dating, they either end up staying together until one of them dies, or they break up, and nobody knows which one will happen at the beginning. All that’s before we consider things like illness and accidents and cheating and divorces and people moving for jobs. I mean, God… any man who showed up in your life would be on a clock, one way or another.”
“Yeah.” Sarah thought about that. “Yeah. I guess you’re right.”
“You guess?” Helen shook her head. “Listen, I’ve been through two husbands and two divorces, and you-don’t-want-to-know how many relationships, and I went in thinking each one was forever, that every single guy was The One… and every single time, I was wrong. And honestly? It broke my heart every single time.”
Sarah nodded.
“Maybe if I’d gone in with both eyes wide open – with the guy telling me straight-up, no marriage, no kids, no future – I could have just relaxed and enjoyed it for what it was.”
“And what was it?”
Helen shrugged. “Fun. You remember what that is, right?”
“Honestly? I’m not sure that I do.”
Helen’s dark eyes softened. “Oh, hon. You have more on your plate than you deserve, and you do great at handling it all. But this man is offering you something kind of amazing, you know. No screwing around on you, and I’d bet that if you’re looking for an introduction to s*x, you could do far worse than a sizzling hot biker-s***h-bar-owner. Am I wrong?”
Sarah grinned. “Nope. You are definitely not wrong… the way he kissed me? I thought my legs would give out under me.”
“Well, there you go. The man sounds like a damn good time, so why not just enjoy it? And I mean both of you, because you’re kind of amazing yourself, you know.”
Sarah blushed.
“So,” Helen said. “What are you going to do?”
Sarah glanced at her watch. “Right now? I’m going to the laundromat and the grocery store. You have to leave by four o’clock today, right?”
“Yep.”
“OK, I’ll be back by then for sure.” She turned her attention to Noah. “Hey, Noah?”
He looked up at her. “Sarah.”
“I’m going now, alright?”
“The laundromat,” he said. “And food shopping. Every Thursday.”
“Right.” Sarah gathered all her stuff into her purse, and grabbed the laundry basket. “You take good care of Helen, huh?”
“I’ll take care of Helen. Right.”
“OK, be back later,” Sarah said to the older woman. “Take it easy.”
“Always, hon.”
****
Sarah started up the washing machine, nodded at Nathan as he went by with the broom, and she went next door to get a take-out coffee. Louise was working today, and she started to pour Sarah’s usual double-double to go before Sarah had even reached the counter.
“Hey, Sarah,” Louise said. “What’s new?”
“Oh, nothing much,” Sarah said. “Same-old, same-old. You?”
“Kevin’s taking me on vacation,” Louise said happily. “A surprise, so I have no idea where we’ll end up. He just said to bring my bikini and a smile… cool, huh?”
“He’s a good guy,” Sarah said. “Treats you well.”
“Yeah.” Louise wiped at a stubborn stain on the counter. “You have any plans this summer? Maybe you’ll go on vacation somewhere?”
“Nope. No plans.”
“Well. Maybe for Christmas, right?”
Sarah handed over the exact change for the coffee that she had tucked away in her jeans pocket before leaving the house. “Yeah. Maybe.”
Now she was sitting in her usual chair in the laundromat, sipping her coffee and watching the clothes tumble around in circles in the dryer. Around and around they went, endlessly, unceasingly; frantic activity and motion that went absolutely nowhere. And she suddenly saw her life as exactly that, as constant movement that went nowhere at all. She was trapped in endless cycles and routines.
Yeah, they were in place for Noah’s safety and comfort… but they were also for hers, she now saw. Every single day was the same, and even when Helen came on Tuesday and Thursday afternoons to stay with Noah, Sarah always did the same things with her free time.
Tuesdays were for errands – the pharmacy, or servicing the car, or doing stuff at the bank, or going to the doctor – and Thursdays were for laundry and grocery shopping. What had once been about planning and organization to survive the day had now become her entire existence. Always the same, no variety, no changes. No flexibility, no relaxation, no movement outside of her comfort zone. Christ, she even had the exact change for her exact same coffee set aside.
No fun. How did this happen to me? When did I become so staid and joyless? So… old?
Why didn’t she ever go for a swim on Tuesdays? Why didn’t she take a class on Thursday afternoons? Why didn’t she read a book in a café, and gorge herself on Snickers cake without guilt or care?
It was free time, for God’s sake, and here she treated it like one more thing to check off her never-ending ‘to do’ list. Like another ‘must fill up this time-box’ in her overly-scheduled life.
It came to her that playing pool with Jax and chatting with Mac, Aidan and King had been the most fun she’d had in years. And last night with Jax, up at the overlook, sitting on his bike and talking? Damn close to perfection.
What if I met Jax for lunch one Tuesday? What if – God help me – he took me to bed on a Thursday afternoon, and we spent hours making love?
Sarah blushed furiously at the thought, and then it occurred to her that it was possible. It could happen. He had sat right in front of her the night before, and offered her the best kind of relationship that he was capable of – it was right there for the taking. All she had to do was reach out and accept it. And, as it turns out, it was exactly the kind of relationship that she wanted.
That I need.
Sarah glanced at the timer on the dryer. It had less than ten minutes left on it. She’d wait it out, fold the clothes quickly, and skip the grocery shopping. She’d go that night, after her Mom got home at seven o’clock. She had plenty of time to drive out to Curves to talk to Jax, or leave a note with her phone number if he wasn’t around, and get back home before Helen had to leave at four.
- Writer
