The first thing that Sarah was fully aware of was a tiny pin-prick of light, smack in the middle of a whole lot of darkness. She focused on that light, wondering what it was, why it seemed so far away. It came to her that she hadn’t actually seen light for what seemed like a very long time, and the urge to move closer to the small white flame grew inside of her.
She fought against the hands holding her down and immobile; she struggled hard. It would be so easy to just stay here in this world made of pillows, she knew, but she somehow also knew that it would be a mistake to keep sinking into it. It was too soft, too warm.
A trap.
The light was expanding now, spreading. She tried to reach for it.
“Sarah?”
A voice came out of the darkness, startling her. She’d thought she was all alone here.
“Sarah? Oh, God, honey. Move your hand again, OK?” Fingers on her cheek. “Please?”
Her Mom was here. She redoubled her efforts to move, to open her eyes, to say something. A small moan escaped her lips.
Footsteps now, heavy ones. A large hand touched her face, opened her eyelids one at a time. She saw a blurry outline. A man.
“Sarah? You hear me, sweet thing?”
Mac?
Nothing in her body was working properly: she couldn’t form words to answer him, or move her head to nod. She tried to blink rapidly, but even her damn eyes weren’t cooperating, and she managed two slow blinks at Mac.
“Can she see you?” Annie again. “Sarah? Can you hear us?”
“She can.”
Relief flooded through her now at the third voice. Noah. Noah’s here. Thank God.
“She can?” Annie said to her son. “You’re sure?”
“Yes.” Noah moved closer. “She can see and hear. She can’t move.”
“That’s OK, Noah.” Mac’s voice was unbelievably gentle. He turned back to Sarah now, and she stared into his blue eyes, trying to ask a million questions, say a million things, all without uttering a word. He studied her, then smiled. “Hey, Sarah. Good to see you again.”
She blinked again, her vision starting to clear a bit. She saw lots of white, and now she heard steady beeping. Machines?
“You’re in the hospital,” Mac told her. “You’re safe, and everything’s going to be OK. Alright?”
Sarah tried to nod, managed a small head jerk. Mac looked pleased, and Annie clapped her hands over her mouth. Mac stood up, and Annie immediately sat down in his spot. She grasped Sarah’s hands and squeezed.
“You feel that?”
A tiny head movement again.
“I love you, honey.” Annie’s cheeks were shiny with tears. “I love you so much.”
Sarah felt the corners of her mouth move. Just a twitch, but Annie saw it. She smiled back at her daughter.
“Can I touch her?” Noah again.
“Oh, I’m sorry, honey.” Annie quickly wiped her face. “Of course you can. Come here.”
Noah appeared now, and Sarah used everything she had to focus on him. He stood on her other side, gazing down at her seriously.
She drank him in, looking for any signs of distress or damage, but he looked OK. Well-rested, even calm. She wondered how Annie was managing to keep him so low-key in the hospital.
“Sarah?” Noah said, and touched her hand.
She blinked again.
“I have new baseball cards,” he said. “King and Mac gave them to me. And Jax gave me some too.” He paused, maybe sensing the automatic emotional response inside her at the mention of Jax. “You want Jax?”
Oh, God, yes. I don’t know why I do so badly, but I want Jax. Please, get him here. Please.
“Sarah wants Jax,” Noah said. “Now.”
“I’ll call him,” Annie said, and stood up. “He’s been here every day, waiting for you to come back to him. Hang on, baby girl. You’ll see him. Soon.”