The Dangerous Curves Series

Chapter 55

She really thought about that, and he held his breath. If she was frightened of him, it was all over between them, he knew. He wouldn’t be able to stand the thought of it, and he wasn’t about to force Sarah to be around him if that was how she felt. But God, he hoped she was able to look past what he’d done right in front of her. He’d beaten three men damn near to death, and truthfully, he’d have loved to have had a few swings at Joker.

I’d have f*****g knocked his head clean off his shoulders, I swear.

“No,” she said at last. “I wasn’t scared. But…” Her voice trailed off.

“But what?”

“But I saw a side of you that I’ve never seen before.” Her eyes held his, not letting him off the hook. “I mean, I knew it had to be there… you said you had a tough childhood, and that does something to people.” She looked down at his naked chest. “I can see the scars on your body, and all these tattoos… I’m no expert, but some look like prison ink to me. And those punches tonight weren’t anything like the first you’ve ever thrown.”

Jax swallowed hard. She was laying it all out now, and he had a choice to make. There was no judgment on her face, though, and no disgust. She just looked like a woman who had a lot on her mind, and who was offering him a chance to hold up his half of a long-overdue conversation.

“In some ways, what I saw of you tonight seemed like a completely different man – but deep down, I know that’s not right. What I saw? That’s you, too, and it always has been. That ferocity, and domination, and rage.” She was amazingly gentle, even kind. “I’m not afraid of it, Jax, but I do want to know where it comes from, and what you’ve done with it before, and the places it’s led you in your life.”

The silence stretched out between them. Jax was frozen solid, scared out of his f*****g mind. He wanted to tell her – and God knows, after tonight, he had to tell her – but the thought of her reaction was overwhelming. Was he about to lose her?

Fuck. I hope not.

“It’s taken me lots of bad places in my life,” Jax said at last. “But the worst one was when it landed me in jail.”

She waited, still holding his hand, her face open and trusting. That was when Jax knew that he had to fully own his life; after all, she had every right to know who the hell she was with. The fact that it had all happened so long ago didn’t mean that it had never happened.

Truth time, man.

He took a deep breath. “I went to jail because I killed a man.”

Oh, f**k. Oh, f**k. There it is… now she’s going to up and run screaming.

Sarah studied him. “Why did you?”

Jax blinked at her simple acceptance, at the softness of the question. “Because he killed my mother.”

“Oh, God, Jax. I’m sorry.” She curled up against his side again, and his arms went around her right away, pulling her closer. “Tell me.”

He sighed. “Mom raised me and my sister alone. Dad took off when I was ten and Megan was seven, and to be honest with you, we were all pretty f*****g relieved. The man was abusive as hell, and even though we were dirt-poor after he left, we could finally go to bed at night without bruises and broken bones.”

Sarah nodded.

“Mom did her best, but a waitress’ salary isn’t much.” He looked at Sarah. “Your Mom reminds me of my own in lots of ways, you know. Both abandoned by men they'd trusted, both raising kids on their own, both getting up every single f*****g day and just getting it done. No weeping and wailing and giving up… not much happiness, I figure, but no defeat.”

“Yeah.” Sarah stroked his forearm. “Tough women.”

“Damn right. Anyway, I got into trouble, and that was mostly my own fault. I made lots of bad choices, and let me tell you, doll, if you want to find trouble in Detroit, it’s damn easy to do. I ran with a gang, and I was a petty criminal and a street fighter, and I landed in juvie a few times. I don’t know how I did it, but I managed to stay in school and actually learn a few things, but mostly, I treated the streets as my place of education.” He started to stroke her hair, over and over, finding it soothing. “I was a selfish little prick, and I basically left Mom and Megan on their own to cope as best they could. Mom had boyfriends over the years, and most of ‘em were f*****g losers – until Len Murdoch came along. Rich, classy… and married.”

Sarah sighed. “Yeah.”

“So, me and Megan told her to get out of the relationship, but she wouldn’t. Murdoch was financially generous to her, and when we pointed out that Mom was, in effect, a hooker, she said we needed the money.” Jax sighed. “It all went along fine, until Mom got the brilliant idea to blackmail her married boyfriend. She had a friend of hers from the restaurant where she worked take pictures of her and Murdoch together – like, together in bed – and then she presented them to him. Said she wanted some absurd amount of money to stay quiet.”

Jax’s whole body tensed up now, and Sarah closed her eyes, knowing that it was bad.