The Dangerous Curves Series

Chapter 58

They drove up and down the city streets for hours, looking for Noah. At about five o’clock, Sarah’s phone rang again, and she pounced on it.

“Mom?”

Jax watched her face crumple in exhausted relief, and some of the tension left his shoulders. She disconnected, and looked out the window at the sunrise over the distant mountains.

“He’s OK?” Jax said, wondering why he even had to ask.

“Yeah. The cops picked him up and they’re just taking him home now.”

“So… everything’s fine? He’s not hurt?”

“He’s fine.” Her voice was flat, broken.

Jax reached for her hand. “Sarah…”

“No.” She pulled away. “Don’t, Jax.”

He froze, his heart beating too fast.

Fuck. Here it is. I’ve got to save this situation somehow.

“Baby…”

“No. Don’t call me that. Not anymore.”

“Why not?”

She turned to him now. “Because it’s over between us, Jax. I’m sorry… I’m so sorry.”

He pulled over, sure that he wouldn’t be able to handle having this conversation while operating a motor vehicle. “Sarah, look. I know you’re upset about what happened, and I get that you blame yourself. If you want, we can dial it back between us. No more sleeping over. No more nights away from home. We can figure this out.”

“No.”

“…No? Just no?”

“I can’t, Jax. You’re a – a distraction.”

Fuck, that hurt. “I’m a what?”

She sighed. “I mean, even when I’m not with you, I’m thinking about you. I’m not focused, or present, or paying attention. Noah needs and deserves my full attention when I’m around him, but I’ve been distracted. By you.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. I thought I could have this, you know. I thought I could be like other people and do what I want, and for a little while, I did. But that’s not my life, and it probably never will be.” She blinked back tears. “My family has to come first – even before anything that I may want.”

He was silent. She gave him a small grin now, tried to lighten the mood.

“Come on, Jax. No need to take it so hard, tough guy. I mean, you always said this would go on for as long as it worked for both of us. And it just – stopped working for me.”

Jax’s first and strongest urge was to fight her on this, tooth-and-nail. He wasn’t a man who let things get away from him, not when they were his – and Sarah was his, body and soul. Oh, sure, she was her own person, and a f*****g strong woman, but still… she belonged in his bed, in his arms. Nobody had ever made him feel this way, and he knew she felt for him, too. He was hers; she was his.

He wanted to force the issue with her, force her to retract every soul-crushing word that she’d just said. Couldn’t she seehow good they were together, didn’t she know that he’d do anything for her, anything at all? Jax would make her see it, make her know it. He’d overpower her with his dominance, he’d overwhelm her with his strength. He wasn’t letting this happen – no f*****g way.

But then he understood that he couldn’t do this to Sarah. Not if he loved her. She didn’t deserve to be pressured or guilted into anything; after all, she hadn’t done anything wrong. She was thinking about her family, and if Jax was being honest, he admired her for it, and he always had. She had been something for him to have and hold for a little while. And now he had to let her go.

“I get it,” he said quietly.

“Of course you do. From the word go, you told me you were temporary. And if you were, then so was I. Right?”

God, I wish I could take back those f*****g words.

“Right.” He pulled back on to the road. “I’ll take you home now, then I’ll be on my way.”

“Jax?”

“Yeah?”

“Are you angry with me?”

“No, I’m not. I promise. You’re right – I did say that I was temporary, and I couldn’t offer you anything long-term.” As a parting gift to her, he gave Sarah his lazy, sexy grin, and she relaxed. “It’s OK, Red. It’s all fine. You get on with your life… and I hope that you’ll be happy. You deserve it. You deserve it more than anyone I know.”

And you deserve better than me. You always did.