Chapter 45
681 Words
Three weeks later
Sarah handed the envelope over to the courier, signed the proffered confirmation slip. She shut the door and took a deep breath.
She’d just sent off the last few printed materials – and the project for Lemongrass was done. She had to prepare her final invoice, and that was it.
Thank God… now I can take a breather.
“You sent everything off?”
Sarah turned around and smiled at Helen. “Yep.”
“Congratulations, hon,” Helen said. “Must feel good. That was one hell of a big job.”
“Yeah, it was.”
Helen grinned. “And you’re sleeping at Jax’s tonight for the first time?”
Sarah dropped her gaze. “Uh. Yeah.”
“Hmmmm.” The older woman’s tone was teasing. “You think you’ll actually do much sleeping?”
The problem with having skin as fair as Sarah’s was that any blush at all was pretty damn dramatic. Helen laughed to see it, then she turned a bit more serious.
“You feeling OK about tonight?”
“Yeah. I mean – yeah.”
“Really?”
“Well… maybe a bit nervous.” Sarah stuck her hands in her jeans pockets. “And not just about it being my first time to – to you know. I’m worried about tomorrow morning.”
“You mean the morning after you guys first make love?” Helen shrugged. “It’s not like this is a one-night stand, Sarah. You two are together, and this is all planned. It’s not like the man will kick you out, or treat you like a drunken mistake.”
“Oh.” Sarah shook her head. “Oh, no. I’m not talking about tomorrow morning with Jax. I know that’ll all be fine. I’m worried about Noah.”
“Ah.” Helen sighed. “Hon, we have spent three weeks preparing for me to be here two mornings a week. He’s fine with it, and you know that.”
“Yeah.” Sarah sounded uncertain.
“OK, what?” Helen said. “What are you really all freaked out about?”
“I’m not sure.” Sarah thought about it. “I just – I suppose I feel selfish.”
“Why on earth would you feel that?”
“I guess because I’m putting my wants first. I mean… I want to sleep at Jax’s place, and I want to wake up next to him. It feels weird and wrong to just do what the hell I want. You know?”
“Sarah.” Helen’s voice was gentle. “You have done every single thing humanly possible to prepare Noah for this change. I switched my schedule from afternoons to mornings twice a week. I know his whole breakfast routine – God knows you’ve drilled it into my head over the past few weeks. I’ve prepared his breakfast without you hovering over me, and Noah was totally fine with it. He is ready.”
Sarah sighed.
“The real question here is – are you ready?” Helen said. “Ready to let go of control, even just a little bit?”
“I – I thought I was. But now that it’s here… I’m not so sure.”
“Sarah.” Helen was stern now. “You have the right to enjoy things, you know. You have the right to be a young woman in a relationship with a good man. You have nothing to be ashamed of, nothing to feel guilty about. Enjoy Jax, enjoy your time with him.”
“I – I just…”
“No. No, ‘I just’. Go over to his place, stay the night. Drink some wine, and celebrate finishing a massive project. Sleep late tomorrow. Hell, stay in bed all day tomorrow, if you want… it’s not like you have any work to do right now, and me and your Mom have Noah covered until tomorrow night. Just relax.”
“OK.” Sarah took a deep, calming breath. “I’ll try.”
- Writer
