01 | The Girl Without a Wolf

2471 Words
My body shivered when the wintery air passed through my broken window. The blanket I have isn't thick enough to protect me from the freezing wind, and I couldn't demand for a thicker one either. I let out a lazy groan before getting up to cover the broken glass with cardboard and sealed it with tape. This has been my routine every winter ever since my window glass broke after some bad kids threw stones at it. And it usually gets worse at night when the wind is stronger and colder. This is the third time I woke up and I am starting to get really pissed off because I have to get some sleep so my body could have enough energy when I start my day. I lazily crawled my way back to my old, tattered mattress to try to get back to sleep. And I am very careful not to rip it any further. I badly want to throw this out already and replace it with a new one but I am afraid I will have nothing to use after. This was gifted to me by the ever kind Luna Therese—just note the sarcasm. I closed my eyes and tried my best to get back to sleep, but I am already wide awake. I couldn't sleep comfortably because of the cold. I guess I will fix this window later in my free time. I decided to just start my day early. I read a few books and waited for my alarm to ring. Then I tied my hair in a messy bun and went downstairs. My room is located in the attic of the pack house. Even though there are still empty decent rooms in the house, I wasn't given one to use, but instead tasked to tidy them every single day. I headed to the kitchen to help the cooks prepare the meals. All I do is assist them in preparing the ingredients and cleaning after their mess. I am not allowed to cook the pack's food for some illogical reasons. Well, I don't really care. In fact, I am very glad because I don't think my body can keep up with my daily routine if cooking will be added to it. It took us more than an hour to prepare the meals since we had to prepare meals for a large group of hungry men who keeps the pack safe by patrolling the territories. The cooks then told me to clean the kitchen as soon as possible. I just mentally rolled my eyes at them because they didn't have to tell me that. Because before I knew it, my body is already moving on its own. This routine has been tattooed in my system. My body has completely gotten used to it already. I can probably get all my tasks done even with my eyes closed. After cleaning the kitchen, I took a few minutes break to eat my breakfast. I had to eat in the kitchen since I don't have anywhere else to enjoy my meal. I am not allowed to join them in the table or even be around them when they eat. Well, it's not like I wish to dine with them either. My food would probably be bland if I eat it with them. I would rather eat alone than be with people who make me feel unwanted. I don't need them. I don't need anyone but myself. I learned that at such a young age. I was never a member of this pack. I was brought here by Alpha Lancer when I was five after he saved me when my original pack was attacked. I don't really have a vivid memory of my past. Everything is hazy. And every time I try to remember, all I could see were blurry scenes and images. I have been trying to remember my past ever since I came here, but I failed. I always had. When I asked for Alpha Lancer's help, he took me to an expert to have myself checked, and I was told that the reason why I couldn't remember anything from my past is because a part of me wants to bury it deep down to my unconscious to protect my sanity; that maybe what I experienced back then was so traumatic that it would completely ruin my mental health. When I tried asking Alpha Lancer about what really happened to my pack, he just told me it's something he couldn't tell me, not until I grow up. I am already a grownup now but he hasn't told me anything about it. That just means that he doesn't really want me to know. Well, I already got tired of asking, so maybe it's best to just let my past stay unknown. Now, enough with my senseless life. After my meal, I waited for them to finish eating so I could go out and clean their table and wash their dishes. "Maya, we're done. "Luna Therese turned to my direction and sweetly smiled at me, "You can clean the table now." I just gave her a nod because I don't really like talking to her. She's the reason why my life is nothing but a mess up until now. I know she was the one behind the reason why the majority of the pack avoids me. She is only nice to me when Alpha Lancer is around, but when he is not, she turns into a disgustingly cruel woman. She is the number one person who always reminds me of my origin; that I am not and will never be part of their pack. I don't really know the reason why she loathes me. I don't remember doing anything bad to her. And even after all the things she did to me, I still respect her because she is my savior's mate. "Maya, when you're done with the dishes, go to my room and clean it." I looked up and saw Hunter—this pack's future alpha—buttoning his uniform. "Clean it before my class ends." "Okay," I replied, not throwing him even a slight glance. I wanted to hate him so bad, but I couldn't completely do it. He got his father's look. Every time I look at him, I always get reminded of the favor I owe their family. He could have been the next Alpha Lancer only if he didn't get her mother's two-faced character. He's just like his mother. He treats me well when his father is around but instigates bullying when he's not. How I wish to have Alpha Lancer in the pack house every day so those two would die keeping their acts. But that is nearly impossible since he is busy managing the pack, especially since the most awaited day of the year is coming—the passing ceremony. Alpha Lancer will soon announce that his son will be taking over the pack after his training in the Alpha Camp, the place where future alphas all over the region train to hone not just their strengths and abilities but also their skills to lead a pack. It was said to be a prestigious institution that produces competitive alphas all over the central region. Even warriors are sent there but they have a different set of schooling from the alpha candidates. That is also the place where royal warriors are selected. Werewolves with excellent skills and extraordinary strengths are chosen to be part of the royal family's soldiers. That's one of the reasons why a large number of warriors and future alphas attend the camp. Well, to be involved in the royal family is a privilege, and some packs use it to climb the echelon, to make their pack stronger. This pack—the Nightshade Pack—that homed me does not need the royal family to establish power. It's one of the five strongest packs in the region. But according to Alpha Lancer, his pack was once a small, weak pack, but was able to climb the echelon after years of dedication to cultivate and strengthen it. They have expanded their territory without waging war against other packs. He built relationships with other alphas and merged their packs. Now, those alphas are still leading their packs and are just under his command. Alpha Lancer is such a good leader, an outstanding one to be exact. And looking at his only son right now, I fear for the future of this pack. I fear if he can continue his father's legacy because he is nothing but a two-faced, spoiled, and pampered àsshole. After cleaning his room, I went to the kitchen to check on the cooks if they had made his lunch. Yes, the future alpha demanded me to send him lunch every single day when he could just bring it with him or just eat at the cafeteria. This is his way of bullying me, of demonstrating his dominance against me; of showing his authority not just to me but also to those who flock around him and lick his shoe. What a mature way of asserting dominance. Very mature. After packing his lunch, I grabbed my sweater and stormed my way to the pack's local college. "For the future alpha," I told the guards when they stopped me at the gate. "I have been doing this for years and yet you're still stopping me?" I blurted out of frustration. "We're just following protocols, wolfless," one of the guards replied with a cold stare. "Make sure not to mingle with others," he added after he let me through. I scoffed. "You're talking as if I carry some sort of disease," I mumbled, laughing in disbelief. I have heard it countless of times not just from them but from almost everyone in the pack. "Not a disease but a curse." I heard one of them say but I ignored it and pretended I didn't hear anything. I clenched my hands. I have been hearing those words for two years already yet I haven't gotten used to it. It still hurts like hell. Cursed. Wolfless. Those were my labels. Those were the reasons why I wasn't allowed to join their meals, to mingle with others, or to even have friends. Everyone in this goddàmn pack sees me as something to be avoided. They are all scared to get the rumored 'curse' I have. It all started two years ago during my supposed shift. Everyone in the pack who was supposed to shift that night successfully shifted except for me. But even before that night, I am already aware of the possibility that I might not shift to my wolf. Even Alpha Lancer is aware of my situation. I have been constantly updating him about my state—about how I couldn't reach out to my wolf ever since. Yes, I have not made any form of contact to my wolf. Inside me was an endless void filled with silence and cold. Inside me was nothing but an empty space. I was the first wolfless in the pack. And what's worse was that I am an outsider. From then on, the pack believed that I am cursed and that Alpha Lancer brought a cursed one into their pack. And the one who instigated that belief was none other than the ever kind and caring Luna of the pack. The first few weeks were hell to me. I felt completely unwanted. But through Alpha Lancer's help, I was able to overcome it and accept my situation. I moved on and just decided to live the messed up life I have. And here I am now, almost numb and indifferent to my surroundings. "Hunter, your slave is here." I looked in one direction when I heard the pitchy voice of Karen. And there, I saw Hunter's group. There are four of them. The next beta, his mate, then Karen who's just plainly a delusional bítch that claims to be Hunter's chosen mate. "Did you bring enough food for everyone?" Hunter asked with a smug look on his face. "Yes," I coldly replied before taking out the plastic containers from the tote bag. "Are you really sure we will not be cursed when we eat the food she brings?" Karen said, pouting and acting all scared but she just looked plainly horrible. "You've been eating the food I bring for two years now," I said, looking at her eyes. "And it seems like the curse is taking effects. I can see it on your face." Trace, the next beta, and his mate, Celine, laughed at my remarks. Hunter also smirked while looking at Karen whose face has turned bright red. "You!" She didn't hesitate to come at me and pull my hair. "You really know how to piss me!" she screamed, pulling my hair as strong as she could. I can feel the pain deep into the roots of my hair but I tried not to show any reaction. I just waited for her to let go of my hair. And after a few seconds, she finally did. She's breathing heavily while clutching her hands. "Are you done?" I said, fixing my hair. "Then I will take my leave." I turned around and bit my lower lip in anger. I want to pull her hair back. I want to hurt her just as much as she did for the past two years, but I can't do it. I shouldn't. That would only spark the hate and disgust I am already getting from the whole pack. "Get lost, you disgusting wolfless girl!" she screamed and the other students who were around looked at me. I turned around and smirked at her. "I will." My response infuriated her more. She approached me again and grabbed my hand tightly. "You! You probably came here to put a curse on everyone. You're probably a witch that's why you didn't have a wolf!" I puffed some air before taking her hands off. "If that's really the case, the alpha should have banished me already." I took a deep breath to calm myself. "Irrational reasoning," I mumbled. "Just let her go, Karen. She's polluting the air already," Hunter bumped in. "We can't breathe the same air with her," he added and smirked at me. I secretly rolled my eyes. "We're basically living under the same roof," I told him and left without letting him respond. I sighed and shook my head. Immature bràts who know nothing but bully the weak and poor. How I wish to leave this pack already, but I also know I can't. I can't leave Alpha Lancer. So only if I will be given a chance to just leave for a while, I will surely grab it. No matter what.
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