The Bones To Nowhere

f o u r

Beau continues to miss school after that event on Monday. I wonder if he's in some sort of trouble? Why is he distancing himself from me? 

I decide to take a walk to the pub his brother works at, only to find out that he hasn't been to his shifts since Monday either. What in the world is going on with the Greene brothers?

When I get home, my dad is sitting next to mom's old spot on the couch. Odd. "Hey honey. Welcome home." I greet my dad, only for him to pat the seat next to him. 

"We- I am not making enough money. Your mom suggested we find a small apartment to rent and put the house up for sale." My heart cries for my father, his shaggy brown hair too long, since mom hasn't been able to cut it. His five o'clock shadow now a much denser thicket of hair. His weepy eyes, and defeated body. He hasn't taken care of himself in years, just fighting for one more paragraph before he eats, a chapter before he sleeps. 

I put my hand on his shoulder, "it'll be okay. You've done good daddy." I hadn't called him that since I was little, but I'm vulnerable and so is he. So it's okay to cry just this once. I don't really tell dad about my life, but for some reason I find myself telling him all about Beaumont Greene, and what's been going on recently. He doesn't say anything, but listens intently, though I never really expected anything more than that. 

And late at night, I stomp my way upstairs and into my room. In the house of my childhood. This is our home. The fact that mom is telling us to move must mean it's pretty bad. I knew there would come a day that she'd no longer be able to pay for everything, but never did I imagine it'd be this soon.

As I lay my head down on my pillow, I think about all the misfortune stacking up. I can change this, I can change it all. 

"Hey Penny, do you know if your mom is hiring any help for her shop?" She smiles brightly at my arrival to the table, "I'll ask for you." I give her my thanks, and fill her in on some classes she had ditched on. Everyone knows that my dad and I have been struggling with the money, and some even bought his books to help out, but there's only so many people in this town. And it isn't enough. 

An announcement came from over the intercom, with a very cheerful principal Woodwind with the morning news. "Graduation is this week, you all should be getting your caps and gowns in the mail soon. We expect great things from you all." He continues on, with no one really listening. 

My ears perk at his next sentence though, "on a more serious note, students, as some of you may have came to know the new transfer Beaumont Greene, local police have reported him missing. If any of you know the whereabouts of Beaumont, please come forward at any time with your information. We hope to work diligently to bring him home to his family as soon as possible. Thank you." My stomach drops immediately. Missing? What about his brother? A whole slew of questions and mysteries form in my head about where my beloved Beau could be. Beloved? Where did that come from? 

The palms of my hands begin to sweat and I feel my gaze begin to blur. "Hey, are you okay?" I feel a hand fall over my shoulder, it's small. So small that I feel like a giant compared to it, how can such a small hand create so much warmth? My eyes wander over the very concerned looks of my peers, staring at me. I need out. I can't breathe. I cannot breathe! Am I dying? Before my vision completely dims I see a very worried Beau standing in the corner of the cafeteria, his head hung low- what? How is he here? But I don't have enough time to react before I faintly feel my head hit the floor with an ear shattering c***k. 

•••

My eyes flutter open. I'm in a white tiled room. The curtains have sea creatures adorning the felt fabric, and I see a bag filled with clear liquid next to me. I feel my hand twitch. Where am I? What happened? My eyes sweep across the empty room. The door in the corner looks so heavy, like I would never be able to pull it open, and I feel trapped. My mind is racing and my head is pounding. I feel tubes adorning my face, and I have just enough time to rip them off before the door opens abruptly. A doctor. 

He's the student council president's father if I remember correctly. I never did ask her for her name. My hand absentmindedly touches my tattoo. Oh no, Beau. Where have you gone? Why did you leave me so alone? I need you here. My only true friend. I'm so undeniably angry at him. And guilt seems into my head, why am I angry? This is not his fault. Right? 

The doctor has a surprised look on his face, "oh! You're awake. Your father has been in the waiting room. I told him he could come see you, but he said he's better waiting from a distance." Typical. He's never really been one to show emotion, even in situations concerning his daughter. I'm not surprised, nor am I hurt. It's just who he has always been. My mom couldn't stand it, his distance. He always feels so close, but so far away. Almost as if you could reach out and touch him, but an invisible wall prevents it. The doctor moves closer to my bedside, pulling out a small metal flashlight to test my vision. 

"Had yourself quit a fall. You've been out for a whole day. It seems you had yourself a panic attack and blacked out. The students were very quick to get you help. You should thank your friends when you go back to school." My throat is dry. I don't feel much like talking either. So I stay quiet. 

"Have you ever had a panic attack before?" I shook my head. Minor panic attacks, sure. But I've never blacked out from them. 

"I'm going to prescribe you some medication to help with those okay? It seems you have a lot going on right now from what your father told me. You suffered a very minor concussion, but everything checks out, you'll be just fine." But I feel anything but fine right now. I feel like my head is underwater. The world is blurry, and I don't know how to swim to the top. The doctor seems as if he doesn't know what else to say, as if, he was never taught how to deal with a mute patient before, so he just pats my arm and tells me he's going to get my dad. 

He walks in with a small smile. Very awkward man, he is. But he brings me so much comfort. "You okay?" He asks. I'm not sure if he wants me to answer or just sit, but I shake my head yes. He runs his fingers down my hair, like when I was little and scared of the dark. He used to sit in my bed and read me a whole slew of books to try and get me to go to sleep. He would never waver, if I were still awake, he'd grab another. "Beaumont's family wants you to talk to the police. But I said you needed some time." I immediately sat up. Beaumont. He's missing. So they haven't found him? In a day? Everyone knows the first twenty four hours are so crucial to finding a missing person. My heart begins to pound, and my dad notices. "It's fine. Let's think about something else right now. I now you're worried. I think it best to leave this to the police. You didn't do anything wrong here." 

But did I not? I knew something happened to Beaumont. He was acting so distant. What if I had said something? Told someone how strange he was being? Would it have made a difference in today? I could have done a million trillion things differently and maybe we wouldn't be here. And that thought alone breaks my heart.