Sam

Chapter 2

By Michael Juha

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It was late in the morning when I and everyone awoke. To my surprise, Sam was not there by my side. My nephew said he asked permission from my Mom that he will leave early as everyone was still asleep.

“Ah, maybe he had an urgent thing to attend to” I said to myself. I thought everything was okay.

When I went back to the room, everyone was already awake. There was no mention of what had happened that evening. Then when we had our breakfast, one of our friends teased me, “So what happened with you and Sam last night, Geoff?”

The other members laughed. “What do you mean what happened? We jerked off like what you did, i***t!” I answered back in a jest.

“Yeah. But we used our own hands only while you both used your hands on each other, plus the mouth.” And the laugh got louder.

“You’re all jerks!”

“We are envious!”

The jokes seemed endless. But I was not offended, not even a bit. It was always like that with my friends. We make fun of each other and laugh ourselves to it, nothing is serious. It is how things went with us.

But on the following class days, Sam seemed to avoid me and never talked nor stayed with the group anymore. Even in our Psychology class where he would always sit at the front-most seat just opposite Miss Cathy, he sat at the backmost seat, preferring to be all alone, silent and sometimes in a deep thought.

I knew something was wrong.

So one afternoon when he was in the library, I approached him. “Hey, can I talk with you for a moment?” I told him in a raised tone, showing how piqued I was with him.

“I am running out of time, Geoff and really busy...” he answered back, as if wanting to leave me there.

“Well, if you are busy then I won’t disturb you. But I would just say this, our group misses you a lot and things are different when you are not there. We are your friend, and if you consider us to be, then nothing should come between us, even if we do weird, nasty or stupid things together. We have the right to know what is bothering you and what keeps you from coming with us. You are the eldest in our group and you know it better Sam. Now if you decide to leave us, then it’s all up to you. But remember, we suffer as much as you do...” And showing my disappointment, I hurriedly turned to leave.

Another week had passed and Sam and I met again in the library. He was seated in front of a vacant table facing the main door. He saw me come inside but I did not mind him. It was as if I didn’t know him. Gave him that blank stare and proceeded inside to look for a vacant chair.

Unexpectedly, Sam called out. “Geoff! Can you stay with me for a while? There is something I would like to tell you” as he gathered his notebooks, stood up and said, “Can we go to the campus botanical garden? It’s nice there...I can tell you what’s in my stupid mind.”

I felt elated having to hear again from him. I obliged. When we reached the botanical garden, I immediately sat down on the grassy part under the shade of the acacia. “OK, tell me what is in your stupid mind!” I kind of teased him.

He was still serious. He sat down on the grass beside me. “Geoff, you know how obsessed I am with Ma’am Cathy, right?”

“Everyone knows that... so, yeah!” I answered philosophically.

“And... do you still remember that night when we were intoxicated and something happened to us?”

“With the ‘Cathy story’ yeah! And where is this story leading?”

“It’s true and I admit it, I’m so obsessed with Ma’am Cathy that all I want is to see her every moment of the day. But when that incident with the two of us happened, it added to my confusion.”

“Shittt! You were bothered by what we did?”

He nodded.

“O man… Was it a big deal for your? I mean, I’m affected too but it’s not like I would kick butts or dump my friend! Things happen between friends, you know. And the crazier the things they do the deeper is the friendship. So it’s totally fine! No big deal!” I explained to assure him I was okay with what had happened.

“Geoff, you don’t see the point. It’s not it. Yeah, I’m damn guilty, and I accept responsibility for what had happened. But as I am crazy with Ma’am Cathy, what we did just sticks to my mind and it comes back over and over!”

“So...?”

“So, I still feel it, dammit! And I couldn’t get over with it... with you!” Sam shouted like he was on the verge of crying, avoiding contact with my eyes.

“I still don’t understand your point Sam, what’s the big deal?” raising my voice in confusion.

Sam paused for a while then held my shoulders and looked at me, “That... I think I feel something for you, Geoff; that... I love you!!! That’s the big deal! Are you happy now?” as tears finally rolled down his cheeks, sobbing in front of me like a kid.

I was stupefied. I could not believe what he just said. “I-I don’t understand, Sam.”

“Me too…” he said as he wiped the tears from his eyes.

I still could not believe it. I thought I would laugh and shout to the whole world, “Hey everyone! The campus prince charming is in love with me!” But all I could do was to stare at him in pity. I did not know what to say. “But... what about Miss Cathy?”

“That’s why I’m confused, Geoff, really, really messed up. I’m so ashamed with you and our group and I don’t understand what’s going on with me. I love Ma’am Cathy, but I don’t know why I also think of what happened to us... of me!”

“As I told you, Sam, it’s no big deal. But if something is bothering you, I can’t help it except to understand... I got to admit, I liked what we did. But that is only up to that, and nothing more. As a friend, I like you – so much. But I don’t know if I could be capable of feeling something beyond that. That is to be honest.” I said in an air of seriousness. And I continued to make him laugh, “But... if you decide to court me, just give me some time, or maybe some chocolates will do”.

Sam smiled. “You are stupid and crazy!” He paused and released a sigh. “Yeah, if only I could... But I can’t imagine myself having to court another guy! Shittt!”

“That would be my greatest achievement! Imagine, the campus idol is courting me? It’s like winning the Mr. Universe title!” I guffawed.

But Sam was silent and looked serious. “Maybe it would help if I would just stay away from the group for awhile until I can sort things out and be ready to get back with you, guys...”

“And I thought you would court me...” I said still teasing him.

“Geoff, please... I am serious.”

“Ok, I’m sorry,” I turned serious too. “Whatever is your decision, you go for it. We will be there to support you. Remember, the group is waiting for you, Sam… especially me.”

He stood up and as I stood up too, he gave me a big hug, did our fraternal handshake, and said goodbye.

“You keep our secret, promise me!” He shouted.

“Yes Sir!”

(To be continued)