Chasing Death

I needed to find them

What on earth did I think I was doing? Betsy was right, I was losing my mind. Was this grief? Wyatt was my friend but it's not like he was my lover. I had been too focused on post-secondary to worry about love interests.

I turned the key in my apartment door locking it behind me and then headed down the hall to the stairs that would take me to the parkade under the building. I headed toward my civic parked on the far side of the parkade making sure to check around it as one does in a big city and the hopped in the driver's seat. Looking in my rearview I froze. What am I doing? Am I really getting in my car right now in the middle of the night to go find Death?

Where does one even FIND Death? "This is crazy." I muttered to myself before I turned the key to start my car and started backing out of my parking spot.

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I contemplated a lot of things on that seven minute drive. What was my plan? Would they remember me? Would I be able to find them? But I remembered their surprise that I COULD see them and that we communicated. So it was worth a shot.

I pulled into the parking lot and parked my car before resting my head on the steering wheel for a moment, collecting myself. "What's the worst that can happen? I don't find them? And the best? I do?.. I have to try."

I looked up at the emergency entry sign glowing red in the dark of night. "I have to.. see." I got out of my car and walked towards the entry slowly, I was nervous.. excited? but nervous. I pushed the button on my keys to lock the door, hearing the beeping behind me I picked up pace to the entry doors.

This was it, maybe? I really didn't know what I was doing or what I was expecting. The automatic doors opened in front of me and the chaos of an Emergency room hit me. The Triage nurse greeted me, she was tired. Worn out from lack of sleep and an overly demanding job. She looked me over up and down puzzled "what's your emergency miss?" She asked me calmly?

"I'm looking for someone." I replied as I dug my nails into the palms of my hands lightly, an old nervous habit as I scanned around the waiting room looking for the figure I had seen the week before. The silhouette hadn't left my mind since, I knew who I was looking for I just had to find them.

"Do you have their name?" The nurse was talking to but I didn't hear her. I peeked through the windows of the door leading to the emergency ward. I walked towards the doors to look in the window better. "Miss?" The nurse was still talking to me and I looked back at them.

"I'm so sorry. I am just looking for someone, they came in, in critical" my voice shook. What was I thinking of course they wouldn't let me in without actually knowing someone. I looked through the window again and there they were. Their frame was draped in dark cloth and hooded so you couldn't see their face. They were leaning against a hospital wall taking a drag from a cigarette, their scythe leaning against the wall beside them. They were waiting and had been for a while.

"That's them!" I exclaimed, shocked in all honesty. I ran to the door, which opened on impact and I ran toward the figure.

"Miss! You can't go in there without a name and checking in!" The nurse called after me. But I was already in the ward and running towards the figure leaning against the wall.

"It's you!" I ran up to them and they turned what I assumed to be their vision to me. I felt their gaze on me, it was the same feeling I'd felt this past week whenever I couldn't get them off my mind.

They took a drag from their cigarette and out blew a cold puff of smoke. "What are you doing here? I told you I hoped we didn't see each other again." I felt my heart sink. Their words were cold, and I could feel them wrap around me.

"I just. I needed to see you." I said standing my ground to them. "I haven't been able to stop thinking about you since that night" I was suddenly aware that I was trying to have a conversation with Death in the middle of a hospital emergency room.

They reached for my hand, taking it in their sleeve and I felt the coldness of their words wrap around me like a blanket. A cold smokey blanket. My vision shuttered and shook and my surroundings were suddenly hazy.

"You need to be more careful, you're going to ruin everything. You know they can't see me, right? To date other than animals, the only one who has been able to see me has been you." They paused, looking around the ward. "How did you even get in here? Who saw you?"

"I.. the triage nurse saw me come in." I looked around and the haziness seemed to have pulled me out of everyone's sight. "What did you do to me?"

"I pulled you out of the physical world and into mine. You can't stay here, but you can't just be jabbering at yourself like a mad woman in a hospital. I have work to do, you know." They looked around before taking another drag off their cigarette and then putting it out, the remaining filter disappeared before my eyes. "Don't smoke, it will kill you." They chuckled to themselves.

"That's.. that's not funny." My thoughts wandering. What was my plan? I was literally standing in front of Death in some sort of void realm out of everyone in the hospitals view..

"Why did you even come here, what were you expecting?" Their words cut through my thoughts and I was brought back to reality.

"I.. I don't know exactly? I just.."

"You just thought your walk into a hospital with no plan, confront the grim reaper while I'm working, for.. what?" They were annoy, and I guess they should be.. I really didn't have a plan.

"I just couldn't get you off my mind since that night." I looked at them, even in this moment I felt something calming about being in their presence.. calm in the presence of.. death. I might be mad.

"That's the grief. Now why you can see me I don't know, that bit still doesn't make sense to me, but here we are. Look. I have a busy night tonight. I need you to go home. Get some rest. Did you do all the human things? Did.. what was his name.. Wyatt? Did his autopsy come back?"

"I can't rest! I haven't rested in a week! People aren't supposed to SEE Death, why can I see you? Why do I feel something when I'm around you?" I was frustrated. I don't know what I wanted. I wanted to cry and grieve for my friend. But I wanted Death's arms around me while I did.. what?! No I didn't that's actually crazy.. but.. what if I did.

They could tell I was distraught. I mean who shows up at a hospital to see Death who has it completely together. "Look, I have work to do tonight. A lot of it. I really don't have the time toni-"

"Come to my house when you're done, or when you have free time. Just.. soon. I have questions and I need answers and if you don't come, I'll just… I'll just keep finding you!" Did I just threaten Death.. that I'd stalk them?

They looked me over and chucked. "I'll see what I can do, but I need to collect this soul or we're going to have some issues."

I nodded at them and looked around. "Please. This has been.. weird."

"Go home and rest, I'll try to come when I can. You can leave the way you came in, you can exit my realm once you're outside the hospital. That nurse is so over worked she probably thinks she imagined you, and no one else has seen you in here." Their words were oddly soothing. Maybe I could get some rest.

I nodded towards them and heard a soft chuckle from their being. I hoped they would come through. I turned to leave the ward and head home as Death picked up their scythe and went on to do their job.

I walked through the doors separating the lobby from the ward and headed outside. A few steps from the main entrance my vision returned to normal and the coolness of Death's realm left.

I walked towards my car, it was time to go home.

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I put the keys into my deadbolt and unlocked my apartment. "Crroooaaa-aakkk" there it was, Betsy knew I was home and was already against the glass awaiting my arrival when I got down the hallway.

She was asking how it went, this frog I swear. "I.. I don't know Betsy. They were there. I saw them. Heck I SPOKE to them." I started pacing around in front of her terrarium before plunking myself down in the chair beside her and picking up her tub of worms and taking one out for her. Opening the terrarium she waited at the door like a very polite girl and I handed her the worm which she devoured as I continued on with the details of the visit.

"So what do I do now? Wait? I don't even know." I had moved to my bedroom now and flipped down on my bed. He said to rest.

Maybe I should rest.