Broken Angel

Chapter 4: Lupins

GABRIELLE

Zach’s version of help was waiting it out. He knew Penelope. He spoke to her. And yet he refused to talk to her for us. He said if we really wanted it, that we should be the ones to put in the work.

For years we had searched for her and came up empty every single time. I was beginning to lose hope for her, for me, for my brother. She didn’t want to be found, it was impossible to track her down. 

I just had to get Alexi’s sister back and then maybe we could fix us, if there even was an us left to fix. 

Every time I was ordered to do something, I did it. No questions asked. Now guilt was eating me up inside.

I felt even worse at the fact that I felt guilty. There was never a time where I questioned my role in the grand scheme of things. Now Alexi had me questioning myself.

There wasn’t a time that we wouldn’t argue. He resented me. And I hated him for making me weak. 

The only time we would see eye to eye would be in the presence of the twins. They were Angels. Literally and figuratively.

Raph and I had been out on an assignment when he brought up not finding his soulmate yet. “You’re better off without one. They’re just trouble.”

I tried not sounding spiteful because in the end that person was created for him. They would be perfect for one another. Just because Alexi and I weren’t didn’t mean Raphael shouldn’t find his perfect half. After all, Jophiel had found Adonis without even trying.

“You say that now, but you wouldn’t give him up. I see the way you look at him, with hearts in your eyes like he created the stars. But you know who created the stars?” He paused as if he was waiting for my answer. With a roll of his eyes he continued. “Dad did. He created the stars and he gave you Alexius.”

“Luci created them, our Father had nothing to do with this,” I countered. This was just a fluke. Maybe it was just wanting something I knew I couldn’t have.

Raph stepped closer to the hospital bed where his next charge laid. The man’s family was outside in the hallway waiting to see if he would recover. They weren’t praying to our Father, but good things happened to good people. And this was a good man.

I stood back holding my hands behind my back and watched my brother create his own version of beauty. “Just give it a minute. What’s meant to be will happen,” he said as he began healing the man.

“I’ve become a love sick puppy and I hate it,” I whispered as the man started to come to.

“How do you think I feel?”

“You probably just miss sleeping around with women,” I joked back. In actuality, Raph had calmed down some. He’d been patiently waiting for his soulmate, wondering where she was at, when she would show up.

“How could you say that?” He gasped with fake disdain.

Smiling at him I nodded my head towards the window letting him know it was time for us to go.

******

I left my brother once I felt the tethering again. The string that had snapped was finally reconnecting us. I couldn’t tell Raz, not yet. I had to be sure.

Perhaps I was just imagining it, willing myself to believe it was really happening. I needed to get her back. Penelope may not have died, but she was as good as gone right now.

The twins had begun asking about their mom and I saw how it broke another piece of Azrael to tell them they didn’t have one. That they were created like us. Or rather like Alexi and his brothers were created.

I landed by a large miro tree in a field of Lupins. The humans called this island New Zealand. I still didn’t understand their fascination with imaginary borders and claims to land that didn’t belong to them.

She was here.

Penelope was actually here. She was standing in the middle of the field looking up at the sky with her arms crossed in front of her. Wearing all white she reminded me of myself when I was first created. 

Did I emanate such arrogance as well?

“You can come out,” she called out from her place among the purple flowers, they swayed in the wind brushing up against my legs as I made my way towards her.

“I was wondering when you would notice me.”

Penelope finally turned to face me and she looked different. Everything about her was the same, but the permanent scowl on her face and her eyes that were devoid of any of the warmth they used to house showed nothing. “I’ve known you’ve been following me— for a while now,” she said as she stepped aside and began circling around me.

Usually I wouldn’t turn my back on anyone, but Penelope wasn’t a threat to me. I knew it. She knew it. So I had nothing to worry about. At least not now.

“If you knew why didn’t you say anything,” I replied as I stood there looking out into the field as she continued to stalk me like a predator. It was comical that she thought she could stand a chance. But I was always taught to expect the unexpected. Even if I didn’t feel threatened. We could all fall due to hubris.

Once she stood in front of me again a smirk marred her features. “All these years and you could finally sense me, that was deliberate.” 

I wasn’t a fool to think otherwise. Raz wasn’t here for that very reason. He would do anything to get her back. That was clear when he made the deal with Zach. “I know which is why I didn’t tell the others,” I replied.

Penelope took a few steps closer to me, we were only a few feet apart. I could reach over and touch her, yet she seemed so distant. “Here’s a message, stop looking for me. Stop asking about me. Stop trying to reach out to me. I’m not like you, I follow my orders and that’s all.”

“Is that what my Father told you”

“He doesn’t need to tell me. I know my place,” she spat.

Cocking my head I took a tentative step forward. She didn’t step back or keep the distance, only eyed me up and down wondering if I’d come closer. I wouldn’t. I didn’t need to. She wasn’t coming home with me. I could see it in the way she spoke and the way she looked at me. “You know I’ve been watching your work, the so-called job you’re doing. That isn’t how you help humans process Death.”

Penelope laughed. “Are you like on a power trip? Upset that I’m not following your lead,” she shrugged her shoulders with a sigh. “As long as they move on why does it matter how?” She was causing more harm than good. We both knew it, the only problem was that she didn’t care. 

“You’re an empath, you know the answer,” I refuted. Human Penelope was a beautiful person, this Penelope was a stranger, callous and cold, calculated. She wouldn’t do anything unless she wanted to and she did as she pleased. Even Zach wasn’t this indifferent.

“I’m an Angel, empathy is simply one of my gifts,” she said with a smirk as she circled her head with a finger where her halo should have appeared. If she were created like the rest of us, her halo would have shown bright and glowing, but she wasn’t. I wondered if she was resentful for that very reason. Penelope knew she was different and she was trying to prove otherwise.

I didn’t bother refuting her false claim, it would only confuse her, and she wouldn’t understand until she had her memories back anyways. But I just wanted to punch that smirk off her face. How could I love the human Penelope and dislike this version of her so much, maybe we weren’t as perfect as we made ourselves out to be.

“And you’re supposed to be using it to help the humans, but instead you’ve been leaving empty shells in your wake.” I wanted to shout and scream at her. Tell her how wrong she was. She was hurting people and she was hurting herself in the end. We fed off our charges, and if all her’s were apathetic it was only a reflection of herself.

Penelope shrugged her shoulders with a sigh. “Feelings are debilitating, I’m doing them a favor. You should know, with your soulmate, you’d choose him over your duties. Azrael already did, he fooled some human into loving Death and now he’s created two abominations. I smelt it, the children they’re his aren’t they?” I wanted to throttle her for insulting the twins. Insulting her own children, but I had to remind myself that she didn’t know. Penelope had no memories.

She leaned in closer to where we were standing face to face and then whispered in my ear. “You know what, don't answer that. I don’t care. You all do what you want, and I will follow my orders. Last warning, don’t follow me.”

Stepping away from me, Penelope was smiling from ear to ear. She thought she had one. As she turned around and began walking away I couldn’t hold my tongue. “Or what?”

Penelope whipped back looking furious. “Or we’re going to have a problem.”

This u could do. I tried to talk to her, but it seemed my way of communicating wouldn’t be getting anywhere with her. She needed a different version. And I could happily provide. “I’d like to see you try,” I smiled back at her.

Before I could utter another word Penelope lunged at me full force. We tumbled back into the field as she began her attempt at fighting back. She may have been strong but she didn’t remember that I taught her everything. 

Fists were flying, kicks were landing, and insults were being hurled. As she ran towards me, I caught her and tossed her over my shoulder which had her landing with a thump on the ground.

The petals from the Lupins were scattered around us, stems were torn to the ground, petals were floating in the air like pollen and Penelope was on the ground.

“Give up yet?” I asked her hoping she was ready to concede.

Instead, Penelope jumped back up and wiped blood away from her lip before giving me a snarky smile. “Not a chance.”

I stood up taller preparing myself for another fight. “You may be strong, but I’m older and better. Know your place.”

She threw herself at me, throwing a punch that hit so hard it nearly caused me to fall over. When that didn’t work, Penelope was seething, she screeched and ran towards me taking me down with her. We both hit the ground hard.

This began to feel like a petty sibling squabble. We eventually ended on the ground rolling around, tugging on hair, biting each other in our attempts to get the other to let go.

I was finally able to gain the upper hand holding her down by the shoulders as she struggled to get up. Before I could bring my elbow down on her face I was tugged away by two strong arms I recognized all too well.

The familiar warmth and tingling I felt was an annoyance right now. I wanted to hold onto my anger and not soften like a pudgy panda.

Alexi held me back from behind while Azrael picked up Penelope and held her tight. Her chest was heaving up and down and I was regulating my breathing, not wanting her to get the satisfaction from knowing that we were close to equal in power. 

She looked like a rabid animal as she tried to fight off my brother’s arms, which only forced him to coil tighter around her body.

“Gabrielle what the Hell?!” Raz yelled at me as he held Penelope from behind as she struggled in his grasp.

“Let me go!” She kicked and screamed, her feet barely touching the ground.

I wanted to laugh at the way she looked right now, but judging by the scowl on my brother’s face, it wouldn’t be a good idea. “I wasn’t actually going to hurt her,” I argued back. Alexi held on tight as if he could feel all the tension coursing through my body. 

I wanted to melt into him and just be held forever.

“What, you need your little soulmate to hold your leash,” Penelope cackled.

We were close enough to where I was able to pull on Alexi’s hold and headbutt her. Her face flew back as I stared at her in satisfaction. 

Raz loosened his grip on the tiny menace, enough to turn her around and check the damage. “Damn it Lex! Are you okay baby?”

“Don’t f*****g touch me!” She screamed.

She was furious. I saw it before they could. Her eyes began to glow and in the next second she was bursting at the seams with cosmic energy. My wings extended instinctively and cocooned themselves around Alexi before we got hit with an energy pulse. 

We were knocked over and I was winded. When I took a peak back at Raz and Penelope she was gone, and a crater replaced the spot that she once stood in.

“I have to go after her,” Raz quickly explained before taking off.

Alexi stood up and offered me his hand. I could barely stand up straight, and my back felt heavy. “Jesus, Gabi your wing is broken,” he said as he ran his hand over my left wing. 

I would never get used to the feeling of his fingers slipping through my feathers. Like every time he touched them, he was fascinated.

“It’ll heal. How did you find me?” I asked. I doubted that Penelope allowed herself to be tracked down by Raz.

He took my face in his hands and brought me closer to him. “You forget I can always feel where you are.” Alexi kissed my forehead and wrapped his arms around me. This was the first time that he’s held me since I aided in Penelope’s demise. 

I stood there not sure of how to react. Deep inside, I knew he was mine, but a tiny voice told me it was only temporary. That he would remember what I did.

Deciding to enjoy this small moment, I held on tight reveling in his essence.

 Feeling his arms around me, I knew. I knew that Penelope was right. I would always choose him.