The Golden One

It Hurts

I'm supposed to be the cure.

I'm supposed to save us all.

But that 16 year old boy is dead and there is nothing I can do.

I've felt numb since Carl gave me the news. We've talked about why it didn't work; he was most probably too far gone. But I can't help but think, would it have worked if he bit me? And what if I'd done it sooner?

I try to push forward and not dwell on it, but that's not the type of person I am. I care, too much sometimes, and I can't just forget.

There is no real news on The Elite. The other Alphas have either never heard of it or only heard whispers of some secret werewolf society that died out decades ago. Apparently it didn't die out though, as it appears they have something to do with the diseased wolves and, as the rogue had said, they were coming for us. For me.

The car draws to a stop outside my pack house. I look around and notice something is off.

There are no wolves training, only some lazily lounging on the grass. I look around as I enter the house and notice no one seems to be busy at work. In fact, it's basically empty.

Where is everyone?

My mind link to Michael goes unanswered as I march around the house looking for answers. I can hear the faint sound of music coming from upstairs along with thuds and laughter.

I ask Christopher to go in search of the warriors and direct them to start training. He can lead them in Michael's absence.

Once he's gone, I turn my attention back to the noise coming from upstairs. I know exactly which room it is coming from before I even make it up the stairs.

Standing in the corridor, the smell of alcohol and smoke lingers in the air. I stifle a growl and march to what used to be the spare bedroom, now Michael's bedroom.

The smell and noise only increase as I stand in front of the door, annoyance building in my stomach and muscles twitching in frustration.

I bang the door three times and wait, the annoyance growing rapidly and flowing through my body. I hear whispers and giggles as footsteps approach the door. The door swings open to reveal a petite and pretty girl wrapped in a towel, smiling brightly.

Her smile quickly fades as she catches the snarl forming on my lips.

"A-alpha Meila, y-you're back." Her head bows and her voice shakes.

fucking slut.

I agree with my wolf's sentiments but I hold back and keep my cool composure.

"I am. Please leave so I can speak with Michael." I speak through gritted teeth and my jaw clenches as she gathers her clothes and rushes passed me. I step into the room and slam the door behind me. Annoyance has turned to anger and the anger is quickly building to rage.

"What the f**k are you playing at?" I shout across the room. Michael rolls out of the bed and tries to stand. He loses balance and falls back down before trying again and finally rising to his feet. He sways slightly before turning to me and flashing me a sloppy smirk.

"You're drunk." I snap as he continues to sway, not caring he is standing completely naked across the room.

He shrugs and I avert my gaze.

"Nothing you haven't seen before, baby." His words are slurred as he starts to walk unsteadily in my direction. I reach down for a pair of joggers and throw them at him, smacking him in the face and almost knocking him over. He rolls his eyes and casually puts them on, like he wasn't standing naked in front of his now marked ex.

"Jealousy looks good on you." He chuckles and a growl stirs in my chest. This isn't jealousy. I didn't care if he hooked up with the pack slut. I cared he had neglected his duties. I cared that he disobeyed my instruction.

Right?

He winks at me, noticing my furrowed brow at his comment. His casual and drunken attitude only infuriates me more.

"Two days! I've been gone two days and this place has gone to s**t!" I scream as he stumbles towards me, unaffected by my anger.

"They know how to do stuff here. They don't need me. You don't need me." His voice is shaky as well as slurred now. His eyes are dark and sad, and looking over him I notice it looks like he hasn't slept since I last saw him.

I sigh, sensing the sadness, the hurt and the sorrow he is feeling.

"Of course they need you." I speak softly now, realising the struggle he is dealing with. "I need you." I reach out for his arm. I did need him, he was always there for me as my Beta, as my friend and as my biggest supporter. I always needed him.

"But this isn't you." I say, piercing his eyes with my own. His head drops and his shoulders sink.

"I-it hurts, M. It hurts so much." His voice is barely a whisper and my heart aches for him.

"I'm so sorry Michael. But you will get through this. Just like you got through losing Liana." I stroke at his arm, trying to help him calm down. I want to hold him, I want to take all of his pain away but I can't; I'm the source not the cure.

"I-it's so much worse than Liana. Because y-you're here, b-but you're out of reach. A-and I have to w-watch you be happy with someone e-else." His breathing is heavy and erratic. "Y-you helped me move on from losing Liana. But I don't have you anymore. There's no one to help me move on from losing you." His shoulders rise and fall heavily as he pants out his words.

Unable to resist the pull any longer, I reach out and tug him into my arms, he falls into me grabbing on as if I could disappear at any moment. I stroke at his hair as his body leans into mine. He's taking big sniffs of my hair and burying his face in my neck. Minutes pass and his breathing calms.

I pull back and wipe away stray tears from his unshaven cheeks.

"You need to sleep this off." I say as I guide him towards the bed. He doesn't protest and follows with his head down, sniffing heavily. He flops into the bed and I lift up his legs before pulling the blanket over him. As I turn to leave he grabs my wrist.

"Don't go." His voice is pleading and I can't help but bend to his will.

"For a little while." I sit on the edge of the bed and his body relaxes. I stroke at his forearm rhythmically, something I used to do to calm him. His hand returns the tickles on my thigh and I watch as his fingers dance their slow circles over my denim clad thigh. It's inappropriate, not because there's anything s****l, but because it's deeper. It's like a shadow of our relationship, of our love for each other. Finally, his eyes flutter shut and his breathing calms.

Once I'm sure he is asleep I stand and leave, closing the door softly behind me. My back presses against the door, my head tilted back to look at the ceiling. Unable to hold back my emotions any longer, tears start to trickle slowly down my cheeks. My breath hitches in my throat as I try to self soothe and I clutch desperately at my chest as it feels like my heart is screaming inside me.

I love him.

I love Michael and I broke his heart. I've broken him. He was never like this when Liana died. He didn't react like this when his dad died. But here he is crumbling in heartache because I stomped on his heart and started falling for another man.

Taking some final deep breaths, I calm myself and dust myself down. Responsibility calls; I need to sort the s**t show Michael has left for me downstairs.

Walking through the house I notice people have returned and busy themselves with chores. I guess my return has been noticed and my displeasure clear. Walking through the kitchen, I see everyone hurriedly tidying and organising food.

Geoffrey spots me and trots over, his face twisted in worry.

"I'm sorry Alpha Meila, Michael said to go and I didn't want to, but he is in charge when you're gone and—" His eyes dart over my face, trying to read my reaction before it happens.

"It's ok Geoffrey. I've spoken with him. How far behind are you?" I keep calm, after all they were following instruction from Michael. It's not their fault.

"So far behind. With the Alphas coming next, we really didn't need two days off!" He shuffles from side to side, voice frantic. Clearly he is distressed at his work load.

"I will cook dinner tonight. You focus on your preparations." I rest a reassuring hand on his shoulder and he smiles.

"Oh thank you ever so much Alpha Meila." He seems calmer as he trots back to work. I chuckle, he is such a lovely man.

Walking outside, I see Christopher on the training field with the warriors. His mouth watering physique is on display and I can quite clearly see some passers by checking him out. One in particular stands out, causing a tight knot to form in my stomach and my jaw clenches once more.

The petite towel girl from Michael's room is now dressed and striding towards Christopher, shaking her hips as she does.

Oh hell no.

I make my own way down to the field, no hip shaking necessary, and reach them as she is twirling her hair around her finger and talking nonsense about learning to fight.

In all honesty Christopher isn't paying her any attention, but that doesn't calm the fire inside me.

"Do you have a thing for men I've been with, Calla?" My voice is sharp, causing her to spin to face me, head bowed.

"N-no Alpha Meila. I w-was just—"

"Leaving. You were just leaving." My voice is dripping with disdain as I cut her off and send her packing. She scampers away, eyes trained on the ground.

"Men you've been with?" Christopher's arms are folded across his toned chest, bulging arm muscles on full display. A little frown forms across his forehead.

"I found her in Michael's room only half an hour ago and now here she is chatting you up." I roll my eyes, annoyance clear in my voice.

"You were jealous?" His frown deepens.

"Of course. You're my mate—"

"No. When you found her with Michael, you were jealous." It's not a question anymore, it's a statement. His jaw is clearly clenched and his arms tighten across his chest.

"No I wasn't!" My voice is high pitched, startled at his claim.

"I felt it, Meila. You were jealous." Although he is tensed, he does not direct anger at me. If anything he is hurt and a little jealous himself. My mouth opens and closes, searching for words and responses to his accusation.

"You love him." His voice is quiet as his arms drop to his side, the frown releasing from his brow.

I stutter on my words not knowing how to respond.

"I chose you. I'm with you." I mange to blurt our. He steps to me, placing a hand on my cheek.

"I know. And I'm so happy. But it's hard to know there is another man that makes you feel the same things I do." He stares down at me, eyes dark and frustrated. I just can't stop f*****g with peoples feelings. I'm hurting Michael by being with Christopher and now I'm hurting Christopher with my lingering feelings for Michael. I sigh at his contact with my cheek, craving more.

The sensation of his skin on mine sends little volts of electricity through me. It doesn't help that he is topless with little beads of sweat decorating his masterpiece of a torso.

"No one makes me feel the things you make me feel." I gaze back at him, voice breathy and hungry for him. And it is the truth. He makes me feel things Michael never did but that doesn't mean I didn't, or don't, love Michael. It is a different kind of love. It took me twelve years of friendship and two years in a relationship to tell Michael I love him. Yet here I am after a few months with Christopher biting back those three words every time I see him.

It's a different love; all consuming, passionate, intoxicating. And it scares me, but I know choosing Christopher was the right choice. The way I feel with him is incomparable to anything else I've experienced.

"It's me and you. Forever." I speak softly, tilting my head back so my lips came closer to his. He c***s his eyebrow and hums in approval of my words. He licks his lips and before I can stop him, he flips me over his shoulder and rushes us towards the house.

"The training!" I shout through giggles. He turns to them and tells them they are dismissed. Several laugh, some whistle and shout naughty things. I notice Calla standing off to the side, arms crossed, face twisted.

This one is mine, b***h!

I chuckle to myself. Hell yes this one is mine.

...

On the lead up to the Blood Moon everyone is busy. Michael slept off his hangover and returned to work fresher and calmer. Sometimes he'll make comments about how I look or place a light touch on me but I brush it off. He knows I am happy with Christopher, it is very clear.

Christopher and I can't keep our hands off each other but in between steamy make out sessions and naughty bedroom romps, we are busy with arrangements for the Alphas. Our previous discussion about pups and the future is obviously on hold. Protection is key when we are doing the dirty, now is not the time for a baby. It’s not safe. 

The pack territory will be full with all of our guests, there won’t be a room spare. Geoffrey is stressed about about having enough food while Ayoke is hiding herself away preparing for the ritual.

Finally the day is upon us and we can get some answers to this seemingly endless puzzle.

The Alphas are arriving during the day and settling in before the ritual. It is performed when the moon is at it’s highest. Midnight.

"We need to talk about tonight." Ayoke steps into my office, tension evident in her body and face.

I turn and look out of my office window, staring down at the rows of chairs placed in front of a table, ready for tonight's event.

Ayoke walks to stand beside me, intertwining her fingers with mine.

"It will hurt." She squeezes my hand as she speaks.

"I'm no stranger to a little pain." I squeeze back, trying to reassure her as well as reassure myself. Ayoke turns to me, grabbing my other hand and pulling me to face her.

"I mean it really hurts. Every account speaks of convulsing bodies and tortured screams. Do we really have to do this?" Her eyes glaze over as tears form. Her lip has a slight quiver to it as she stares deep into my soul.

"Yes. We do. We need answers. We need to stop any more wolves from dying. One was enough to scar my conscience, Ayo. No more." I keep my voice firm and steady. Of course I'm nervous and even a little scared for tonight. But it needs to be done. I can't let anyone else die.

Ayoke nods at me, not letting her tears fall, and sighs before pulling me into her and squeezing me tightly.

"No matter what happens, remember how much I love you. You are like a daughter, a sister and a best friend all wrapped into one. Coming here was the best choice I ever made." It is true, she is older and wiser but ridiculous and fun at the same time. She is everything I need bundled into one person. I am so grateful for her love and support.

"I love you too, Ayo." I squeeze back, not wanting to let go.

The rest of the day is filled with greeting guests and making sure everyone is settled and comfortable. There are two notable absences from our Alpha visitors; Brad and Damien.

Brad isn't welcome in my territory anyway. I made that clear in our last interaction. I'd heard he is struggling with managing his pack now, many are turning against him and he is fighting to keep control.

Damien's absence surprises me. I thought he would be keen to find out if I would cause the destruction of our species. He would be the first to attack me if it is true, I assumed he wanted to be the first to know the true prophecy.

Once everyone else has arrived we sit and eat dinner together discussing everything and nothing. I try to shift my mind from tonight, distracting myself by talking with all of the other Alphas, but I just can't keep focused.

I excuse myself once I've finished eating, retreating to my office to relax.

Christopher follows quickly behind me, feeling my discomfort. Once we are in my office, he quickly wraps his arms around me knowing the calming effect he has on me.

I sigh into his chest, clinging onto his shirt and pulling him tighter into me.

"I'm scared." I whisper out, squeezing tighter and nuzzling deeper into his chest.

"Me too." He sighs out, hands stroking up and down my back causing a shiver to run through me.

He pulls back, takes my hand and guides me over to the comfy chair in the corner. Sitting down, he pulls me onto his lap, arms draped around my waist. I cuddle into him, resting my head on his shoulder and close my eyes.

His fingers trace patterns over my soft skin of my hip as he leans his head back and stares at the ceiling. We sit for hours, not talking, just enjoying each others company; enjoying being close with our mate.

The door opens slowly with Ayoke's tall figure standing in the doorframe.

"It's time."