The Golden One

Absence Makes The Heart Grow Pain

It's been a week since I returned to my pack. I left on the Monday as planned as I had responsibilities to get back to. Christopher huffed with me and in all honestly I didn't really want to leave but my pack comes first, I'm the Alpha. I was reluctant to invite Christopher to join me as it wouldn't be fair to Michael to parade our blossoming mate bond in front of him.

Speaking of Michael, our relationship is strained. We are both still hurting and working together on a daily basis is hard work. Stolen kisses and intimate contact had made our long days together fun, but now we barely make eye contact and only speak about business. It hurts that our relationship has changed so rapidly. I miss him so much but honestly my mind is now consumed with Christopher.

Before leaving, we created a mind link so we could talk easily. We speak a lot during the day and even more so at night. Some conversations are sweet and supportive, some casual and getting to know each other and some longing and lustful.

Humans have a saying that absence makes the heart grow fonder. Humans talk bullshit because all I'm feeling is that absence makes my heart grow pain. My body aches for his touch, at nights I wriggle and writhe in my sleep as the pain of not being near him consumes me.

Everyone notices the change. I am more irritable and less focused and I have been put on my ass several times during training by even the most mediocre warriors. I am not my usual self and it is seriously pissing me off, causing me to be even more irritable and short tempered.

Furthermore, my arousal levels are through the roof. The slightest touch from anyone has me melting into a puddle imagining it to be Christopher's touch. I dream of him at night and the dreams are all consuming, waking me groaning in pleasure, my body dripping with sweat.

In an attempt to calm some of the s****l tension, I engaged him in a dirty mind link a few nights ago; like phone s*x for wolves. He was surprised at first but eased into it, obviously struggling with his arousal as much as I am. It seemed strange as we'd only shared a few heated kisses but I was so desperate and willing to try anything to ease the frustration.

Dirty talking while we pleasured ourselves got me even hotter, it felt forbidden considering we weren't even close to doing anything like this when we were together. Hearing him pleasure himself while I played with myself got me so turned on, it wasn't long before we climaxed together. The satisfaction was short lived as it just made me crave the real deal.

Since then my mind has been filled of images of what he would look like completely naked, running his hands all over my sweaty body while his mouth— f**k, not again.

"Meila?" I shake my head trying to shake away my thoughts as Ayoke's strong voice comes from around my office door. She enters uncharacteristically awkwardly. Something is wrong.

"What's up, Ayoke? And please don't beat around the bush." My voice is irritable, I'm trying so hard to keep my cool but my body is a rage of sensations and emotions.

"Michael asked me to come and speak to you..." Her voice trails off and I roll my eyes.

"And?" I snap. She lets out a deep breath. I never really snap at her, not seriously, but everyone and everything is getting on my nerves.

"He's concerned that the smell of your arousal... well it's messing with the unmated males making them more aroused and more aggressive." She plays with her braids and looks at the floor while she speaks.

"Well what am I supposed to do about that!" I stand as I shout, huffing my hands to my sides like a child.

"Baby girl, you need to get some!" She snaps back, holding my gaze with an equally grumpy expression. Then we both burst out laughing.

This is ridiculous, all this drama because I'm so pent up. As our laughing subsides I sit back down, hanging my head in my hands. Ayoke pulls up the seat across from me, crosses her legs, clasps her hands and leans back.

"We tried a thing... a dirty thing." The last part is a whisper, my eyes fixed on the floor.

"Oh tell me, tell me, tell me!" She squeals in excitement and I proceed to explain our steamy mind link session, my cheeks flushing as I speak.

"But he's been quiet ever since, I've freaked him out. Me! The one who was holding back has pushed it too far!" I scream and flop my head onto my desk. Ayoke reaches out for my hand a rubs it softly. I sigh at her touch, it just reminds me of his touch and I accidentally let out a soft purr.

"Oh hell no, I love you but I'm not sorting you out, baby girl!" She snatches her hand back then let's out a little chuckle. I groan in embarrassment.

"Maybe you should go and visit him? I could come with you." She tries to mask her excitement at the thought of going back to Carl's Pack; she's been a bit lovesick herself after leaving him last week.

"I-I'm scared." I mumble out. It's true I am scared of what will happen next. My body is ready to be mated with him, hell I'm sure the next time I saw him I would mount him where he stood, but I don't think I'm ready emotionally or mentally. I want to be ready and sure; mind, body and soul.

"Look, honey, I know you are used to a slow burn relationship, that's all you've ever experienced. But this is what is supposed to happen in your species. Fighting it and pushing him away is making you weaker and making you and your pack vulnerable. Of course you should be ready, but what is really holding you back?" Her voice is calm and soothing and I raise my head to look at her.

"Michael." I sigh. "Michael is holding me back." I whisper as tears start to form in my eyes. Ayoke stands and walks around the desk to hug me. Her arms wrap around me and she squeezes me tightly. For the first time this week a touch has given me comfort instead of setting my skin on fire. I sob into her arms, letting my sorrow spill out for the first time since the day Michael and I had broken up.

Once my sobbing stops, she draws back and wipes the tears from my cheeks. I sniff and breathe heavy trying to calm myself.

"Christopher helps my heartache, but Michael has no one. I've abandoned him to pursue a deeper love with someone else. He's alone." I continue to sniff and breathe heavily as I speak, realising that although I missed Michael as my lover, I was more upset at the pain I'd caused him and the life I'd stolen from him.

"Michael knows you have to do this. He knows the feeling of finding a mate. That's why he's giving you space. He's not trying to win you back because he wants you to have this." She strokes my hair and her words calm me. She's right. He's not being difficult, he's pulled back romantically and allowed me to experience the bond with Christopher.

"Will you think about visiting him now?" She stands as she speaks and I look up at her tall frame and nod gently.

"Cause these single boys are going crazy out there with your hormones floating around." She laughs and I wince knowing the whole pack can smell my arousal.

"Fine, now leave me to get on with my work, my sassy little Seer." She winks and giggles as I push her towards the door. I lean against the door after she's gone and release a deep sigh. Moving to my desk, I bury myself into stacks of paperwork.

My irritation is sky high by the afternoon as every little thing has my body sensations exploding. I haven't heard from Christopher all day and it's bugging me. Could I really have freaked him out that much with our sexy mind link?

Evening comes and my eyes are drooping as I finish up the last of the paper work. I rest my head on my arms on the desk and close my eyes. Christopher's scent fills my nostrils and I let out a soft moan. These dreams have been so vivid, covering every sense; sight, smell, taste, touch... Mmm touch. Oh Moon Goddess, I crave his touch.

The door opens softly and I expect it's Michael to tell me it's dinner time. I sit up and my eyes flutter open. I gasp.

"Am I dreaming?" I ask while rubbing my eyes. I look again and take in the sight before me.

He stands tall and strong just as I remember. He’s wearing tight, ripped jeans gracing his muscular legs, a muscle fit white T-shirt with his abs poking through, and a brown leather jacket hanging from his broad shoulders. His stubble has grown out slightly and his hair is still ruffled to perfection. His signature devilish smirk is plastered across his oh so perfect lips and his glowing green orbs pierce my soul.

I'm not dreaming.

I run over to him and pull him into my embrace, he wraps his strong arms around me and a low chuckle rumbles from his strong chest. He picks me up with ease and I wrap my legs around his waist and arms around his neck. He peppers my face with light kisses and I giggle. He finishes with one hungry kiss on my lips, though he’s clearly holding back, then places me on the ground.

I sigh, feeling slightly satisfied and calmed by his presence and touch.

"What are you— I thought after the other night—" Words leave my mouth but my brain isn't forming full sentences before I speak. "I thought I'd scared you off." I blurt out avoiding his gaze. He lifts my chin gently so I can't avoid his eye contact.

"I've been quiet since our dirty little mind link because even the sound of your voice makes me want to explode." His voice has that sexy husk I can't resist, my lips form into an "o" shape and I feel the heat rise to my cheeks.

"Maybe now I am here we can try that in the flesh, and to each other." He finishes with a wink and bites his lip. The heat that rushed to my cheeks now rushes to the space between my legs, a gentle throb pulsing from my core.

"Not like that doesn't sound like perfection, but why are you here? I mean it's not that I don't want you here, I just worried about you coming here because..." I trail off unsure if I should mention Michael, lowering my eyes again.

"Michael called me." He says calmly and my eyes snap back up to his.

"What?" I breathe in disbelief.

"He was worried about you. Pushing me and the bond away is making you weaker. He said you needed me but you were trying to protect him by keeping me away." As he speaks he brushes hair out of my faces and rests his hand on my cheek, softly stroking it as he does.

"I just— I can't believe he did that." My brows are furrowed in confusion, surely this is going to be crap for him to see. Maybe Ayoke was right. It seems like he really does want this for me, despite his heartache.  Melting back into a Christopher's embrace I mind link Michael.

Thank you for this Michael.

No reply for a minute or so.

Dinner is nearly ready.

He replies and I sigh.

And you're welcome, Meila. You really do deserve this.

Feeling slightly better after his second response, I pull out of Christopher's arms and look into the deep pools of green I've missed so much.

"C'mon, it's nearly dinner time. Let's get fed and introduce you to everyone." I say unable to keep the grin from my face. He's here, he's really here.

I grab his hand and drag him with me, almost running through the halls to our dining room. Pack members are busy setting the table but pause to bow their heads when I enter. They all smile seeing my fingers intertwined with Christopher's.

"Do we have an extra guest tonight, Alpha Meila?" Geoffrey asks beaming with happiness. He's the head of the kitchen and a total sweetheart. He's getting old now but he has always been around for me and introduced me to cooking when I was little.

"Yes G, this is Christopher. He's my— he's um—" My eyes dart back to Christopher and his smile is quickly fading at my hesitation. I turn back to Geoffrey while squeezing onto Christopher's hand.

"Mate. He's my Mate." I say with conviction and Geoffrey claps his hands in response. He potters over to us and wraps his arms around us both.

"And a very lovely Mate he is. We're so happy to have you with us Christopher. I will have someone place an extra setting at the table, next to Alpha Meila of course." His voice is full of glee and he winks at us before leaving. I turn back to Christopher and take his other hand in mine, squeezing them both.

"I'm sorry. This is new to me and I wasn't prepared. They've seen me and — well it's just different I suppose." My voice is hurried and nervous. Christopher places a soft kiss on my forehead, reassuring me that everything is fine. My body relaxes at his touch and it's so nice to be near him after this week of agony.

Returning to my excited demeanour, I drag him to the top of the table and he sits at the new place setting next to mine. We chat as pack members start to file in. All have smiles on their faces as they see me chatting to Christopher.

Michael enters and I gulp. He walks over extending his hand to Christopher who stands reaching his hand out too and they shake above my head. Michael takes his usual seat on the other side of me and I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. Everyone is whispering as Ayoke enters, fashionably late as always, and dances her way up to the last empty chair next to Christopher. She winks at us and I wink back. I have a new lease of life now Christopher is here.

I stand and the room falls silent. I look around the table and smile at everyone who are all smiling back. We have these dinners every night with the elders and leaders of the divisions in the pack and every night this week I have been a moping mess at the top of the table. It feels so nice to smile out to them with genuine happiness.

"Welcome everyone. I know things have been off this week and for that I apologise. I've been difficult but you have all been very patient with me. I appreciate all of your hard work and dedication to the pack, in some cases picking up my slack this week." They continue smiling at me, their eyes flicking between me and Christopher.

"There is an introduction I have to make, and yes you will all have time to bombard him after dinner, but for now please let me introduce Christopher." He stands as I say his name then wraps his arm around my waist and we gaze at each other.

"My mate."

There are audible awes and chatter from the table. We sit and I nod to them, signalling it's time to eat. We eat and chat, enjoying everyone's company and for the first time this week, I feel at peace.