The Air I Breathe (Student x Teacher)

Chapter Five: Fate is a Cruel Thing.

Silver eyes.

Of all the ways they could have met again, this was the worst.

In her heart, however, Ruby had known that she'd be facing him today.

"Ruby?" James breathed as he pulled the door shut behind him, having been staring at her in disbelief for what felt like hours. His voice was one that replayed in Ruby's mind over and over again, but she hadn't remembered it being so soft and entrancing, like a light breeze on a warm summer day.

It was a voice he only used with people he cared for, but she didn't need to know that and it was best that she didn't. There was no one left in this world that he cared for deeply, and so that tone was reserved for only her— she was the only person left to cause that tenderness within him.

"Ruby." He repeated again, his face lighting up like a sun ray shining through a break in a cloudy sky.

Ruby couldn't move, awestruck as she gazed up at the man, who seemed much larger than she remembered him. He'd been weak and small despite his height on the rainy day they'd met, but now he stood strong and tall, towering over her in a way that made her feel like he was the most powerful man in the world. She could see him completely now, when before she'd looked at him through rain and shadows, and it was as if she were seeing him for the first time.

His skin was pale but glowed like the moon, with a soft sort of luminescence that still managed to feel warm. His eyes were bright but she could still see that brokenness within them, it was much stronger now, and she could feel that the numbness that had taken her long ago had finally taken him.

But for a split moment in time, he was happy, and it was because of her.

"Santiago." She giggled, a giddiness she didn't know she could feel bubbling within her. Her eyes devoured him, he was like a beautiful painting one could spend hours looking at, and she'd done exactly that within her mind's eye every time she recalled him.

His hair truly was black, like spilled ink against paper, contrasting against his eyes and skin in an alluring way. This time she noticed that his jawline was one of his most prominent features, sharp enough to cut her in half, and she'd gladly let him if that's what he wanted to do.

Hell, she'd beg him to.

And his lips, god, his lips— they were a source of envy, plump and pink, the only feminine feature of his that still managed to look masculine because of his natural ruggedness. He was clean cut, but try as he might, nothing could take away his tough exterior.

Last time she'd seen him, he was disheveled.

Right now, he looked put together.

Ruby was filled with overwhelming excitement, she wanted to bounce up and down at finally finding James, but it still felt so surreal. She didn't know what to do, she wanted to hug him as tight as she could and thank the universe for their reunion.

Even if only it put him on her path for her to say goodbye.

Tears came with that thought, but she quickly blinked them away. 

"It's nice to hear you call me that again." He said, a smile pulling at his lips, his hand reaching out to ruffle her already wild hair. She didn't shy away, feeling like a puppy who had been starved of her owners affection and was finally receiving it, and she leaned into him as another giggle escaped her. "Look at you, your hair is even crazier than I remember."

"You're really insulting me?" She asked, blushing softly, not realizing that she had been pulled out of her unfeeling state. They both had, and it was a dangerous place to tread, because in just a few minutes they'd have to face the reality of their situation.

Nothing, not even unforgiving circumstances, could change the feelings they allowed themselves to feel; especially when the only thing they felt, was how they felt towards each other.

"It's not an insult." He laughed, his eyes tender as he looked her over, causing her blush to deepen. She was as pretty as he remembered, her essence still the same one that'd drawn him to her, being in her presence was like finding a place within nature to escape a heavy heart.

She did look like nature, standing there in an oversized brown jacket that seemed to be handmade, with black and beige tribal patterns adorning its sleeves. She wore a black shirt and leggings underneath, along with a pair of brown leather boots that matched her jacket. The same feather earrings she'd worn when he first met her dangled from her ears, but this time he realized that she had many piercings, three on each lobe and two on her cartilage.

He'd never been one to pay attention to the way someone dressed, but he enjoyed the way her pieces of clothing came together to add to her overall essence. Her hair was the icing on the cake, hanging down to below her belly button in a mess of curls, which extended around her head and framed her face.

"You have the best head of hair I've ever seen, I'm quite jealous, if I had hair like yours I would've grown it out a long time ago." He teased, causing her to laugh, and it was wonderful to see her laugh after the expression he'd first seen on her face before she recognized him. 

That expression let him know that she wasn't okay.

"I don't know, I think you'd look a little weird with long hair." She chuckled, eyeing his raven hair that had a slight wave to it. "It'd make you look even scarier, like some type of vampire."

"You think I'm scary?" He asked, amused.

"Yeah, you're f*****g scary, no offense." She laughed, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "You always look mad even though you aren't, and you're like ten feet tall, if I didn't know any better I'd think you were on steroids because your muscle mass doesn't seem normal."

"Are you the last of the Nephilim?"

The Nephilim were offspring produced by God's fallen angels having relations with Adam's daughters, which led to an offspring of giant warriors, according to a book that had been mentioned to her in her religion course. Her teachers warned her to be wary of it, it was the word of man and not God, and it challenged the way people viewed the bible and their beloved religion.

So what was the first thing Ruby did?

Read it.

James threw his head back in laughter, "Definitely not, and stop being such a rebel, you'd get in huge trouble here if the nuns find out you've read the Book of Enoch. It's not in the bible canon for a reason according to them, it's even banned here, so I'd be careful if I was you."

A smirk made its way onto Ruby's face, "You've read it, haven't you?"

This was something she'd missed about their interactions, it was so natural and free flowing, never an awkward pause where they had to think about what to say. Even in sad moments, there would still be a laugh or two, all because one of them had something stupid or silly to say.

Most of the time, it was Ruby who broke the heavy atmosphere.

"Yes, and it's an awful book along with every other religious book I've ever read." He said, causing Ruby's smile to widen, since she hadn't expected someone teaching at a Catholic school to be so... against religion. She knew he was her teacher but she didn't know if he understood that she was his student yet, and she tried to stop the feelings of disappointment within her from dampening their much awaited reunion. "It gave me nightmares for days."

"Me too, and I already have trouble sleeping." She shuddered, remembering the intense descriptions of hell and end of days.

Nothing existed but them, James forgot he had a class he needed to teach and Ruby forgot she had a class to attend. As they stood there in the hall, speaking about anything and everything, their numb hearts were no more as the blood rushed back into them.

They were smiling, so much it hurt.

"I have something I want to give you." James said almost shyly, and it was the first time he'd ever looked adorable to Ruby. She was beginning to see him as a giant teddy bear instead of a man who could kill an army of men with his bare hands, unaware of the fact that it was because he'd never shown this side of him to anyone who wasn't his mother or sister.

He reached into his shirt and pulled out a pendant, letting it rest against his chest before untying the leather cord in which it hung from behind his neck. He held the necklace out to Ruby, and she took it gingerly, her face lighting up with a smile when she realized what it was.

"This one is mine, but I have a bracelet similar to it that I told myself I'd give to you if I ever saw you again." He said sheepishly, a soft blush covering his cheeks- this was absolutely the cheesiest thing he'd ever done. But it was worth it, seeing the girl smile widely, those dimples he'd grown fond of cutting through her cheeks.

He'd preserved the marigold she'd given him, its tiny flower pedals removed from the stem and littering the rectangular resin pendant within. It almost looked like a campfire, as if there were wooden sticks below while the bright orange petals gave the illusion of flames.

Ruby ran a thumb over the epoxy, which was still warm after resting on his chest.

She released a deep breath, "Did it mean that much to you?"

"You saved my life that night." He murmured, and even though his voice was merely a whisper, its bass sound still rumbled through her. "It was a reminder that beautiful things in this world still existed, and that I'd rather be around to see them than not."

"So, yes... it meant everything to me."

"Even though," He began, letting himself finally feel the weight of what it meant to have her standing right there in front of him. He could feel himself deflate as disappointment and defeat filled him, nearly taking out all of his positive emotions with it. "Beautiful things are truly heartbreaking, and can be taken away from you in just the blink of an eye."

Ruby couldn't help but frown, gazing up at him with the same bitter defeat, watching as he unbuttoned the cuff of his sleeve and loosened the slipknot of a bracelet hiding within. He offered it to her with a sad smile, and she took it after a moments hesitation, exchanging it for the necklace she still held- and a smile appeared on her face as she looked down at it.

It held a much smaller oval pendant, made from the pedals of the first unopened flower she'd given him.

"I can guess why you're here, and I didn't want to ask any questions before I gave you this." James sighed, and she looked up to meet his eyes again, which only caused the emotions within him to turn turbulent. "I just want you to know how thankful I am that I ran into you, our encounter has kept my heart beating for longer than I thought possible."

Ruby didn't say a word as she slipped the bracelet over her wrist and tightened the slipknots, stopping momentarily to gage its beauty. There it was, the warmth of his body stored within the pendant, and she relished the sensation since she knew now that nothing could come from her emotions; they were the only emotions she felt, and it killed her that this was the closest to him she could ever get.

He was James Alexander, her teacher, and that caused pain to sere her heart- even though she'd never had any expectations of what would happen if she ever saw him again. She didn't expect for someone like him to want her, it was unbelievable to her, but she knew now that for some reason... she'd lived in his mind and heart despite their brief encounter, and he'd lived in hers.

They'd changed each others lives in a matter of hours.

Ruby pulled out a coin from her pocket, one she kept on her at all times, and she handed it to him. He hesitantly took it, reading the inscription on the pink coin, which caused him to finally give a very real smile. Life returned to him as he looked back up at her, and she smiled too, blushing at how proud he looked.

"You gave me that push I needed, thank you." She whispered, looking down at the coin that read:

TO THINE OWN SELF BE TRUE

UNITY SERVICE

5 MONTH RECOVERY

"I'm proud of you." He said quietly, his voice a little rougher than before as he rubbed his thumb over the coin. "I always knew you could do it, little bird, and that the next time I saw you... you'd be free."

Tears stung Ruby's eyes for a moment as he called her by a nickname that had been given to her long ago:

"I know you're scared," James told her softly, watching her gaze back at the rehab center she absolutely refused to go back into. He'd experienced first hand what this addiction was like for her in just two hours, watching the way she began to grow antsy before having to excuse herself. It was hell to watch her walk around the gazebo and out of view, before coming back calm and with pupils the size of a pinpoint, knowing that she'd just done something to destroy herself and there wasn't anything he could do to stop it. "But you need to be set free, and this is the only way you can do it."

"I know you can."

Tears began to sting Ruby's eyes, "I'm afraid I'll fail and disappoint everyone."

"You won't fail, I know you won't." He comforted, hesitantly reaching out to her before pulling back, and then getting the confidence to run a gentle hand through her hair. She instantly relaxed, "You remind me of a bird, stuck in a too cramped cage, wanting to spread your wings and fly. Your cage right now is your addiction, but what you don't realize is that the door is open, and you are free to leave whenever it is you decide."

"Do you want to be free, little bird?"

Ruby had froze the moment he called her by that name, she was little bird only to those who'd taken care of her when she ran away from the very man who was supposed to protect her. Will Blackhawk was the one who'd given her the affectionate name, a man she loved with every bit of her being, but hadn't seen in two years out of fear.

She was so afraid to know that he hated her, a man she considered her father, even now after years of not seeing him. She couldn't bare to look into her uncle's eyes and know she'd taken away his reason for being, that she'd destroyed his life simply by existing.

Even more so, she didn't want to be selfish and go back home, risking the lives of those she loved for a second time. But hearing James call her little bird, it made her happy, and if she tried hard enough...

She could almost pretend she was back home, and things were still the same.

Ruby giggled despite her tears, "That depends, am I a pretty bird?"

"The most beautiful bird I've ever seen," He said, giving her a smile that made her heart ache profusely. "You'll be even prettier when you're flying, but just know that after you defeat your addiction, you must defeat your mind. I hope the next time I see you, you're flying, and if you're not... well, then, we'll work on that."

"We'll learn to fly together."

Ruby pulled him towards her and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, burying her face into his neck. Tears began to stream down her face, and it was the first time she'd cried in over a year, finding solace in the man. She didn't want to let go of him, although she knew she had to, and she wondered why it was so hard to do so when she'd very easily let go of her family and friends.

She'd never find a reason for that.

"I still have to defeat my mind," Ruby tried to joke, quickly pushing away her tears and offering him a smile. "I'm not free yet, but I will be."

When I'm dead.

"You and me both." James said, ruffling her hair for a second time before motioning towards the classroom. "Come on, we've been out here long enough, and it's time I let go of my favorite memory."

Ruby frowned, "Fate is a cruel thing, isn't it?"

"Yes, it is."