Chaos To Rise

Chapter 5

"Lily, are you listening to me?” Adriano asked while he stared at me. We had just come from watching John Wick 2. He was going on and on about how the movie was so good that he couldn't wait for the next one. I am sure he said something else but i was too distracted to pay attention to him. I looked back at him and, with a sense of guilt, I said "“Sorry love, I got a bit distracted. What were you saying again?”

He looked at him with concern in his eyes and said “Vanessa, are you sure you are okay? Is everything at home okay? The past two months you haven’t been yourself. Is there something bothering you? You know you can tell me anything. Don’t you?” He really looked worried about me, so I reached for his hand and squeezed it as a way of reassuring him that everything was okay. And i said

“You look so cute when you worry about me. There is nothing to worry about. I am totally fine. You know exams are closer and I’m just a bit anxious about it. That’s all.” I reassured him and I gave him a quick peck on his lips.

He looked at me intensely, still not convinced of my excuse, and asked me again“Are you sure that is all that is bothering you?”

I replied “Yes, I’m sure and so you know I had a great time today with you."Then I reached for his head and pulled him closer for a more passionate kiss. I just wanted him to drop this conversation. After our passionate kiss, I slowed, pulled myself away from his embrace and said to him with a mischievous smile on my face, "As much I would love us to keep making out like this, I dont think the people around us are too pleasant about our display of affection.

Adraino stared back at me. I could see the fire in his eyes and he replied: "So do you want to come over then?" At the moment, i knew what this question meant. But I wasn't ready yet for us to take that step into our relationship, so I replied with another excuse, " I would love to but I cant. It is already late and I have to go home now before my mum files a missing report on me". Instead of him being mad at me, he laughed at my joke and said "Alright then, let me walk you home then". He was really one of the sweetest men I know. Any girl would be so lucky to have him as her boyfriend. So why did i not feel lucky? Instead, at that moment, I felt that I did not deserve him. Why did I feel like that? All I knew was that i wanted to be by myself and I really needed to figure out what was going on with me.

So I spoke loudly “NO! I mean no, it’s fine. I can walk myself home, plus I can see my home from where we are standing. It is okay, don't worry, I will be fine and I will give you a call when I am home. I will see you tomorrow”. I quickly gave him a goodbye kiss and walked away before he could argue with me. I know he was not happy with him for doing that, but I would just have to make up for him another day.

On my way home, I decided to take a walk on the beach. I knew it was probably a dangerous thing to do if my mum found out she would not be happy about it at all. But walking on the beach late at night was one of my favorite things I loved doing. The sea at night was so beautiful and special on a night like this when the sky was so clear and you could see the moon reflecting on the sea water. You could hear the sound of the sea waves. It was indeed such a peaceful and beautiful night. After thirty minutes of just staring at the sea in silence, I decided to dive in. I did not have any swim costumes on me, so I guessed my underwear would do then. Plus, no one was around. I smiled as I ran into the sea.

A few minutes had passed and as I exited the water, I saw someone standing next to my clothes. I panicked and all I could think was crap, I WAS A DEAD DUCK.

However, something in me refused to let whoever was out there smell the fear in me. So I spoke fiercely “I may look vulnerable right now as I’m standing here only in my underclothes, but let me assure you I can take you. I know karate and I have won three belts to prove it” The reality was that i did not know any karate but I wouldn’t go down without a fight. I told myself as I positioned myself for a fight.

“Easy tiger. I didn’t come here looking for a fight”. The boy spoke and at that moment I realized who was standing by my clothes.

“Marcelo, is that you? I asked. He started walking toward me and stood in front of me. He looked at me up and down, then said with an angry voice“what are you doing here at this time of the night, alone and naked?

I could feel my cheeks going red. “I am not naked, "I told him as I quickly reached for my clothes and started dressing up. "I needed to get away and be by myself and the only place I could think was the beach. And before you start to lecture me on how unsafe the beach is at this time, please don’t.” I told him.

He looked at me as if he wanted to say something to me, but he chose most and walked away. The fact that he did that, somehow infuriated me, so I ran to him and asked and grab his arm"What are you doing here? Are you stalking me”?

He stopped and looked back at me, then gave me a mischievous smile and said “You wish”. And then pulled his arm from my grip and started to walk away again. Suddenly, I could feel myself getting more annoyed at him. How dare he? I shouted at him"For your information, I have a boyfriend, and having a stalker is the last thing I wish for? I’m perfectly happy".

He stopped and walked back to where i was standing and said “Is that so?”

I stared back at him, then folded my arms and replied “Yes, it is.”

Suddenly, he did something I wasn’t expecting. He grabbed my arms and pulled me closer to him and leaned toward my face and said “Are you sure Lily? Are you sure that you are perfectly happy? Because right now I can feel your heart racing and why is that? I can also see the desire in your eyes for me and I bet right now you want me to lean even closer and kiss you? Am I right? If I am wrong, tell me now and I will walk away”.

At that moment, I heard my brain shouting back at me , telling me to tell him that he was wrong and that he loved Adriano. I knew that I needed to push him off me. How dare he speak to me like that? How dare he say such lies? But why could I not find the strength to deny what he was saying? Maybe because deep down i knew he was right. I really wanted him to kiss me. So, I decided to surrender myself and be at his mercy. I closed my eyes and I waited for his next move. I could feel his breath almost on my face, I could hear his heart beating fast and I could feel his lips almost touching mine . Then he pulled back and said “Lily, it is late and you need to get yourself off these wet clothes before you catch a cold. Plus, our parents must be worried by now". At that moment, I couldn’t help it but feel stupid. I didn’t know what to say, so I nodded and we walked home.

As we reached my house gate, he grabbed my hand and gave me a light kiss on my cheek and he smiled and said “Um dia me amaras loucaramente minha Princesa”. Then he walked away. I stood there, more confused than ever, without understanding a word that he said to me.