13
Step one: We admitted we were powerless over cocaine—that our lives had become unmanageable.
I read the words at the top of the page. Below them, I’ve scribbled April’s instructions.
Write about powerlessness.
Write about all the ways life is unmanageable.
The last thing I want to do is acknowledge the truths I’ve been trying not to face, but my sponsor assures me that the steps are the path—the only path—to lasting transformation.
“They’re like asanas in yoga,” she tells me. “Each one builds upon the next.”
I press my pen into the page.
I am powerless over drugs and alcohol. Once I start, I can’t stop. I used to wake up every day and promised myself I wouldn’t use. Then, before I knew it, I’d be using. I couldn’t help it. No amount of wishing away my alcoholism helped and, no m
