Angel Unawares

Forever In My Heart

"I'm so sorry, Amber," the emergency room physician told her. "We've managed to get your bleeding under control, but unfortunately, we weren't able to save your baby. The good news is that, with a few weeks' rest, you should expect a complete recovery."

Amber had very mixed feelings. On one hand, she was relieved that she wouldn't have to go through pregnancy and childbirth, as the thought of both terrified her; and on the other hand, she couldn't help but wonder what a baby from herself and her perverted stepfather would have been like. Would it have inherited its father's violent, unnatural urges? Or would it have been more like her? Now she'd never know.

"He's in heaven." She turned her head to see Danny sitting in a chair beside her bed. "He had a chromosomal abnormality that would have made his survival on earth impossible, so God in mercy took him now rather than later."

"So I would have had a son?"

Danny nodded. "You'll see him again someday, and when you do, he'll be perfectly healthy and whole."

Amber felt a mixture of relief and loss. "I wonder if this is how your parents felt after you...after what happened to you."

"They were devastated," he told her. "I wanted so badly to comfort them, to tell them I was fine, better than fine, but unfortunately, it wasn't possible."

"But why wasn't it possible? Why couldn't you have gone to them like you came to me?"

"I was still too new, too unaccustomed to my bearings. To have attempted to cross back over in the state I was in then would have been out of the question."

"But you can go to them now, can't you?"

Danny shook his head. "It doesn't work that way. I volunteered to come back for you because I saw that you needed me. They've all adjusted well and moved on with their lives. To reappear to them now would disrupt the new life they've built together."

"So do you mean you'll just abandon me when you decide I don't need you anymore?" Amber demanded shrilly.

"I swear to you, Amber, I'll be with you for as long as you need me."

"And what if I never stop needing you?"

"Get some rest now, Amber. You're tired."

She was released from the hospital the following day. Danny was with her. "Where am I gonna go now?" she asked. "I can't go back to Our Father's House because I'm not pregnant anymore, and I can't go back home because my Mom's still mad at me."

"I'm taking you to the Social Services Department," Danny replied. "They'll find a good foster home for you, I promise."

Amber's eyes went wide. "But I don't want to live with strangers!" A thought occurred to her. "Please, Danny, can't we just go back and live with your family? I always thought they were so nice, and I know they'd be happy to have you back."

Danny sighed. "I already explained the situation there," he said patiently.

"Then couldn't I just stay with you?" she asked.

He grew thoughtful. "Let me see what I can do."

"It just hits you at the weirdest times," Maggie said to her best friend, Bailey. "Yesterday, a new kid in school asked how many brothers and sisters I had, and without even thinking about it, I told him I had two big brothers. Then I remembered and said no, just one now. My other brother died."

"You never really get used to it," Bailey replied. Her twin sister, Brittney, had been killed in a car crash almost two years earlier. She and Maggie had met in a support group for teens who'd lost a close relative. "People are always asking me if I'm an only child, and I'm always forgetting and saying 'no' at first."

They'd reached the library, where Bailey wanted to search for the lyrics to Brittney's favorite song. She wanted to include them in a special memorial service she was putting together for the second year anniversary of Brittney's death and had had no luck searching for them on the internet.

"Well, I'll see you around," Maggie told her friend as she turned to head back home.

"Yeah, bye." Bailey climbed the stairs and entered the library, where her eyes immediately went to the circle of computer monitors at which various people sat. The back of one head looked strangely familiar, and it took Bailey only a split second to realize why.

"Brittney!" For that split second, she forgot that she was in a library. Several heads, including the one that had so commanded her attention, turned in startled surprise.

"Oh, I'm terribly sorry." Bailey's face was beet red as she stammered her apology. "It's just that...you reminded me of my sister."

"That's all right," the girl replied. "Is your sister missing?"

Bailey shook her head. "She's dead."

"Oh, I'm sorry," the girl replied. "It's hard to lose someone you love, I know. My name's Amber."

"I'm Bailey. My sister's actually the reason I'm here. I wanted to look up the lyrics to her favorite song. I didn't have any luck finding them on the internet. It's kind of an older song. That's probably why."

"What song is it?" asked Amber.

"'Forever In My Heart' by the Rosebuds."

"Hey, I've got all their CD's!" Amber began, then remembered. "Had all their CD's."

"What happened to them?"

"They're still back at my house with all my other stuff, but I can't go back there 'cause my Mom's still mad at me."

"That's terrible! Where will you go, then?"

Amber shrugged. "My friend was going to help me find a place. He told me to just wait here in the library, but he never came back for me."

"You can come stay with us, if you like," Bailey suddenly decided. "I'm sure my folks wouldn't mind if you stayed in Brittney's room."

"Are you sure that would be all right with them?"

"I don't see why not."

Amber felt tremendously relieved. Maybe she'd already found a place to stay, after all.