Dragon

Chapter 4

"What are you doing with that?!" I asked stepping out of the bathroom to see Liam holding my blade with blood on it.

"What's this?" He asked with anger laced in his voice. He actually looked kinda hurt as he stared at the dry blood on my blade.

" I have no idea.," I said staring at the ground as if it was the most interesting thing in the world.

"Then why is it in your room?"

"Don't know, wanna watch a movie?" I asked hoping actually praying to the lord he would say yes.

"No can I see your wrists?" He asked looking into my deep green eyes.

"W-Why its nothing just throw the blade away and we can watch a movie" Shaking his head no he started walking close to me until my back hit a wall. Mentally cursing myself he grabbed my wrists and pulled up my sleeves.

"What the f**k are these?!" He yelled looking at the old and new cuts on my wrists, with tears in my eyes I slid down against the wall pulling down my sleeves, and laying my head in my hands. It was so quiet the only thing you could hear were my soft sobs. Thinking he left I tried to get up until he wrapped his arms around my waist.

"Please don't hurt yourself, you're so much better than that." He said in the crook of my neck.

I didn't say anything because what started out as one cut turned out to be so much more, an addiction I can't just stop. Before I made that first cut before I started to harm my body, I thought I would be able to control myself. But with every cut, I found out that cutting was the one thing I could control in my life. I couldn't promise to stop, because I know that's one promise I would break in the snap of my fingers.

"Promise me you won't hurt yourself anymore," He said sadly squeezing me tighter. I didn't say anything at first but when I looked into his eyes I had to promise.

"I promise" and with that, he kissed my neck almost making me moan in pleasure. He then carried me into the living room and put on a movie. I went into the kitchen making popcorn, sandwiches and bringing soda into the living room. He grabbed the popcorn and laid his head on my lap and offered me popcorn, shaking my head, he handed me a sandwich I shook my head again. I couldn't eat that stuff I'm on a 'diet'.

"Why won't you eat," He asked sitting up from my lap.

"Just not hungry" I dully replied before answering the door to let Amber in, she saw Liam she smiled and started greeting him. She walked into the living room sat, on the couch and dumped everything out the bag she brought ice cream my favorite, of course, Cookies 'N' Cream, pizza, and chocolate chip cookies.

"Thanks, Amberina" I smiled happy to have her in my life, walking to her I hugged her and we sat there hugging one another until she spoke up.

"Have you eaten?"

"Yes," I said bluntly.

"When?" She questions obviously suspicious of my answer. When I didn't answer she grabbed a pizza slice and forced it into my mouth. "Lon look at you, your too skinny. You promised me that if you eat I wouldn't have to put you in an eating disorder rehab"

"Amber honestly I'm fine just not hungry," I said staring at the floor, again...

"You're never hungry, Lon ever since she died and he walked out of your life you've stopped living, and it's scary because your my world you the only one I have and if you leave me I don't know I'd do. I can't live without you, you're my only source of happiness," She finished her ramble with tears pouring out of her eyes faster than rain coming out of grey clouds.

" You don't have to worry about me I'm going nowhere your apart of now, we're sisters I won't leave if you don't. I say softly.

" Why don't you just stop?!" She practically screamed at me.

"You don't understand. You ask me why do you cut, and starve, and cry and be alone? You ask me why don't you just stop? YOU DON'T GET IT OK?! When I think I'm clean because I ate, and talked and didn't cut for one damn day, I tell myself 'you're over it' then I get this pain in my chest, telling me 'you deserve this pain' 'you're a freak 'die you, worthless b***h' and guess what? I stop eating again, I stop talking again, I start cutting again." Finishing off that ramble I run upstairs to my room and slam my door. Walking to the window seat. I cry and see this one bright star facing my window and I think about my grandma I convince myself it's her.

Hearing my door open I turn and face Amber, " Telling someone who self harms to 'just stop' is like telling someone with a broken leg to 'just walk'. Telling someone with an eating disorder to 'just eat' is like telling someone who's blind to 'just see'. Telling someone with depression to 'just smile' is like telling someone with cancer to 'just get over it'. And you of all people should know this. I say before facing the star once again.

"I'm sorry, I just-" Cutting her off I say "Can't put up with me anymore?"

"No, what?! I love you, I'm never gonna leave you for anyone or thing, we're sister Lollipop forever and always, the moon and sun" I hug her and walk her out, "bye I will see you tomorrow at school" She screams so loud.

"Are you ok?" I jump slightly seeing Liam walk over to me and wrap his arms around my waist pulling me close to his body. Shocked that he's still here, I push him away.

"You heard all of that?" I say with my voice cracking.

" Yeah, I did and I'm here for you, always just one call away." I smiled kissing his cheek and mumble a quick thanks before walking him to the door. After that, I quickly clean up before going to my room, brushing my teeth and putting my red hair in a bun I go sit by the window seat staring at the star, I hated being alone because when I'm alone, I think, when I think, I remember, when I remember I feel pain, when I feel pain I cry, when I cry, I can't stop. When I can't stop I hurt myself. And hurting myself breaks promises.