No Drink

The Search

Two pm in the afternoon and they still lurked around the park, finding a means of raising transport fare. They had split and gone out to beg under the guise of losing their money meant for their transport fare.

"Bayelsa is a tough town," Kenneth said.

"I'm telling you. Can you believe that since I've been going around this Ekeki park no one has given me one naira?" Jack said wearily.

"Eh ya! You know looking good is nice." Samuel teased.

"I've gotten a thousand Naira already."

"Sharp guy!" Kenneth hailed. "You go help us na?"

"You try well, well. I go hustle my remaining N500, make una hustle una 1500 there. I go wait for una", Samuel said as he turned to walk away.

*************

As they tried entertaining a crowd to raise money for their transport fare, Samuel sat on a bench watching their terrible dance steps.

"No one's even paying attention. Ma, don't you like our dance moves?" Kenneth asked a woman passing by.

"No" she said as she continued moving.

"My brother, this is Nigeria, nobody will drop one naira for you in that bowl" a boy of about twenty years said as he walked by.

"Get out of here, my friend. All these bad belle people", Jack scolded.

"Hahaha... You guys are fun. Nothing come out. If you no know, know am now" Samuel teased.

"Shut up! Because you don get your own, you dey talk anyhow. Don't worry that your mouth go soon close", Jack responded, angrily.

They packed up their things and moved to another area in the park where they decided to pick pockets.

"It's already four. We won't be able to reach Port Harcourt in time if we continue to beg for this money", Jack said to Kenneth.

"So what do we do?"

"Pockets. Pick pockets."

"Okay then. But let's be fast and careful."

"Yeah"

******************

"Uncle Kunle, what would you like to eat?" Chinonye asked.

"If I make my choice you can't get it. Bring whatever's in the house, okay?"

"Okay, but what is your choice?"

"Hmmm... My choice. It's garri and ofor soup" he replied.

"Hmm...uncle Kunle, you like good things oh. No wonder you're becoming more handsome."

"Am I?" Kunle asked, pretending to be unaware. She nodded in response.

"Oh thank you. You look good too," he added.

"Oh my! I'm blushing" Chinonye replied, rubbing her palms and smiling.

"Stop flattering her" Nkechi spoke from behind, startling both of them. She had been standing by the side listening to their discussion.

***************

They rushed back with smiling faces.

"I made N2000" Kenneth said excitedly.

"I got only 1200. It's like bad luck is following me." Jack said, looking downcast.

"Are you just knowing that now? See Jack, you are the cause of our problem. If you had gone to where you were supposed to go last night, Kunle wouldn't be missing by now." Samuel said.

"That's true. We would have successfully snatched the bags from those girls if you hadn't messed up Jack " Kenneth agreed.

"I think Kenneth's dance would have yielded some money if not for you and your aggressiveness, Jack. Look at the time we all went out to beg, you couldn't even get one naira". Samuel continued to point out where Jack had been a problem for them.

"And even now his money is not complete," Kenneth said, as a matter of fact.

"It's okay. I'm bad luck. I wanted to go home, you said 'No!' Help me, 'No!' What do you want me to do?" Jack queried.

"Let's get on another bus. I have N3000 here before we'll be arguing and talking long talk", Samuel said, walking towards a bus that was about to leave for Port Harcourt.

"So Samuel, how did you get the extra 1500?" Jack asked.

"Looks" Samuel simply replied. "Kenneth, bring your N2000, I'll bring my N3000. We'll use it to pay the transport fares for all of us"

"What of Jack's 1200?" Samuel queried.

Jack quickly replied, "I'll use it to pay for the rest of our transportation and for miscellaneous expenses."

"Yeah, we'll add the N500 balance", Samuel added.

They bought their tickets and boarded the vehicle. Samuel suggested that they call Esther and Queen to know if they had found out anything about Kunle's whereabouts.

*************

"Who cooked this food?" Kunle asked.

"I'm the one. Any problem?" Chinonye replied.

"No. It's the best rice I've eaten in a long while.

"Hmmm... Chinonye, you're a very good cook"

"Thanks. Uncle Kunle, what do you work as in Bayelsa?"

"Well, I do many things for a start. So many I can't even count", Kunle answered.

Chinonye pleaded with him to tell her one of the things he did for a living.

"I work... I work as a sales boy for someone " he stammered, trying to find a good lie.

**************

"Kunle is at Iwofe now. He's number finally went through. Esther spoke to him and he told her. He's unaware she's on our side," Samuel said to his two friends.

"He's not even a smart guy. If na me I for don go buy new Sim, copy all the useful numbers come throw way the old one" Jack bragged.

"Are you sure if Kunle had not taken the bottle away you wouldn't have been the one to betray us?" Kenneth asked.

"Meaning what? Am I Kunle?" Jack asked, already turning red with anger.

"Nobody said you were Kunle. You are just behaving smarter than everyone else", Samuel replied, trying to create peace.

"As in ehn" Kenneth added. He's behaving like a smart criminal. In fact, the smartest criminal"

"Are you now calling me a criminal, Kenneth?"

"Maybe"

"Oh it's now like that. I'll teach you a lesson". They began fighting and were eventually thrown off the bus at Choba from which they made their way.

"You guys are fools. How would you guys be fighting on a bus over such a worthless matter as that?" Samuel asked, obviously irritated.

"It's okay. We are sorry", Kenneth apologized.

They asked a woman for directions and boarded a bus heading for Mile three where they were supposed to stop at Pepperoni and find their way.

Already 7pm, they sat in the backseat, and talked about everything they saw on the road. They slept off only to be woken up by the conductor who informed them that they had reached their bus stop.

"Where are we? Have we passed Pepperoni? Jack asked, rubbing his eyes and taking in his surroundings.

"We've passed Pepperoni na! Since. You'll have to go back", the driver explained, and gave them a description of the place.

They boarded another bus, going back. They fell into discussion and arguments and never realized when they passed Pepperoni until they were dropped off at the last bus stop, which was Location junction.

Realizing they'd passed Pepperoni once again after the bus conductor had aggressively explained to them, they flagged down a taxi whose driver was directed by the bus conductor to drop them at Pepperoni.

They were dropped off at a fueling station.

"Where's Pepperoni?" Jack asked.

"All this place na Pepperoni", the driver answered and moved on.

"Pepperoni is at our back" Kenneth said.

"So where do we go from here?"

"First bank. That's what Esther said. Opposite First Bank there's a street called Max chef", Samuel answered.

"Let's get going ", Kenneth replied.

"Is it trekable? Because all we have here is N800 and I'm starving," Jack complained bitterly.

*******************

"Miss Oyinbo, why you dey bone?" Nkechi asked.

"Huhn? What are you saying?"

"Why are you frowning?" Kunle interpreted so the white woman could understand.

"The police refused to hear me out. Instead, they just mocked me and said it was normal. Can you believe that?" The woman said, irritated.

"Chanoy! How did you get to wash all those full clothes with your hands?" Chelsea asked.

Replying to her, Chinonye said "My name is Chinonye, not Chanoy. And as for the clothes, it was easy. That one was even small."

"I can't try that. If I run out of clothes, I'll go to the mall and get new ones. I can't do laundry with my bare hands." Chelsea said.

"Then pay me. Pay me and I'll do your laundry for you." Chinonye replied.

"You got to be kidding me, right?"

"Nope. Pay just N2000 and I'll do the whole thing for you"

"You're going to do that with your hands?"

"Of course. Or will I use my teeth?"

"Well deal?" Chelsea asked.

"Yeah. Sure."

*****************

They walked into a local restaurant and ordered two plates of rice for N200 each.

"This one una buy only two plates of rice, who go eat? Who no go eat?" Jack asked confused.

"We will eat the first and second dishes together, then we will share the meat according to beauty" Samuel replied mischievously.

"You are crazy. Let's share it according to height", Kenneth, who was the tallest, said.

"I won't allow it. Let's share it according to age. I'm the oldest", Jack said, laughing loudly.

"Calm down. Everyone is staring. We'll share it equally" Samuel said when he discovered they were causing an upheaval.

"So this food is survival of the fittest?" Jack asked as he took one spoonful of rice.

"Maybe" Kenneth answered.

THE GLOSSARY

Eh Ya - It's an expression used to express pity.

You try well well_- You are doing great.

Una - It's used to refer to a group of people

Bad belle - Refers to people with bad intentions

'If na me I for don go buy' - If I were the one, I would have purchased

'Why you dey bone?'- Why are you frowning?