Without My Wolf

Chapter 1 - Prologue

All my life I've known I was different from the other girls. When we were little they'd want to have tea parties, they'd want to dress up in pretty clothes or wear their mums make-up. All I wanted to do was fight with my brother Miles, climb trees, chase Mrs Pickards chickens, anything but playing dress up. Getting up to mischief was way more fun! 

Then as we got older all the other girls were interested in dresses, shoes, handbags etc. and finally mates. I didn't get it! I still don't! I mean what's so exciting about finding a man that you'd be attached to for the rest of your life? I've already got my brother I don't need another annoying man in my life. Especially when all they want to do is baby you like you can't look after yourself. Protecting you from the smallest thing, being overly concerned every time you leave the house and they didn't know where you'd gone. No thank you. I don't need someone pandering over me all the time. All the men were like it around here with their mates.

You see we live in the small town of Dockson in the Blue Crescent pack run by Alpha Matthew and his Luna Freya. It's in the middle of nowhere surrounded by trees, apart from on the east side that looks out over a beautiful lake. The town's very peaceful and nothing really happens (unless Miles and I were causing trouble). Yet the men are still trained to be warriors from the moment they turn 13. Every morning before the day starts they are up and ready to go. Boys of all ages and skill are sorted into groups depending on their abilities and they are trained ready to protect if ever needed. 

Women on the other hand are trained twice a week, so that in the unlikely event we need to defend ourselves we have some sort of combat training. It sucks. I'd rather be with the boys training hard, learning how to fight properly. I used to go out to watch them train every morning but now I make my way down to the lake instead. As I walk down the dirt path that leads to the beach I can't help but wonder how Miles is doing. I watched him for 2 years making his way through the ranks until he was nearly at the top. At 16 years old he was taking on the bigger fighters and holding his own. That's when I decided that if I couldn't train with him I would train myself. 

I've been coming here for nearly 3 years now. For the first year my mother tried to follow me to find out what I was doing but she never got close to keeping up with me. I would wander around the town until she'd lost my scent and then head down to the sandy beaches around the lake. From there I had found a clearing just off the beaten track that was perfect for training. I was sure one day she would find me but after my 16th birthday she'd become distant and no longer bothered to search for me, not really caring what I was up to. 

When a werewolf turns 16 they shift for the first time and I didn't. Well... According to everyone else I didn't. 

The wolf part of you is what calls to your mate and once you have your wolf you should find your mate. I never wanted a mate, therefore I didn't want my wolf. So on my 16th birthday I snuck out of the house to my secret place by the lake and shifted on my own. It was the most painful experience of my life and one I wouldn't want to repeat again. 

My wolf was beautiful. Golden brown fur the same colour as my hair and silver grey eyes like mine too, the same colour as the moon. She stood taller than me but at only 5'3 I'm tiny compared to most and even though she wasn't the biggest wolf she felt incredibly strong and powerful. 

"Hi Raegan, I'm River. Its soo good to finally speak to you. I've waited such a long time"

"Umm hi River it's nice to meet you too" 

I couldn't tell her she wasn't wanted so I allowed her the night of freedom. We talked and we ran, we chased rabbits and then just before the sun came up we turned back and shifted into my human body. That was the last time I heard from River. I closed her off from my mind, I would miss her but I genuinely didn't want a wolf. Or any of the craziness that came with her. 

After my night in the woods I headed home to my bed and pretended nothing happened. My parents were devastated in the morning but they kept pushing me to 'try to find my wolf'. As the weeks wore on people started finding out about me being wolfless and eventually my parents gave up hope. It was shameful that I didn't have a wolf and I started being bullied in school. 

That was nearly 2 years ago now. My mother and father barely speak to me anymore and most of the kids in school either ignore me completely or whisper behind my back whenever I walk past. The only person that's still there for me is Miles. He's a year older than me at 18 and a complete pain in my ass. He's got the same golden brown hair as me with tanned skin but his eyes are green and he's a lot taller than me at roughly 6'5. He's the soon to be Alphas Beta and the only reason I don't get bullied anymore. Once he realised what was going on he put an end to it. Most of the kids really respect him so all they do now is ignore me. 

It shouldn't get to me but it does. Its quite lonely being the oddball. I just can't wait till I'm out of school and I can finally leave this town. Get away somewhere exciting and be myself without people watching me like I'm an alien. 

"Only 2 more weeks till I turn 18 and I can go." I say to myself as I finally reach the clearing where I train.