Clerical

Chapter Eight

Bored out of his skull, Barry sits slumped in his chair. His head rests on his hand as he struggles to even muster the strength to keep his eyes on the events happening on stage.

Gabriel is significantly more focused. His gaze is locked fully ahead with an expression Barry has not seen on him before: Anger.

Everyone else in the auditorium appears to be in a different state of mind. They are eating this performance up like a proverbial Sunday roast dinner.

Up on the stage, Mr Miracle stands with a woman who is forced to use crutches. She has a huge smile on her face as she stands toe-to-toe with her idol. The anticipation for what she is about to receive is evident even to Barry, who appears at this point to be half-asleep.

Bakker turns to his receptive flock.

"This woman, Gloria. She has a very serious and upsetting condition which causes her legs to waste away, is that correct my dear?"

The woman speaks and nods, but without a microphone cannot be heard. Her smile still nearly bouncing off her face.

"Gloria, do you believe in the Lord and saviour Jesus Christ?!"

The lady nods her head, almost crying with happiness.

"People? Do we believe that the good lords son will bless this woman with the power to walk?!" He preaches with passion and power.

The crowd responds in all manners of different ways of screaming and praising.

"Gloria? Do you wish to be cured of this debilitating illness?!"

Gloria, now crying nods her head profusely.

"Then be saved!" Bakker screams as he thrusts his hand onto her forehead, almost knocking her off her feet.

She starts shaking and screaming uncontrollably as Bakker preaches words begging the Lord to help her.

Eventually he pulls his hand back off her head.

"Gloria! You may now walk!" He shouts as he boots away her crutches with a swift kick to each one.

Low and behold, Gloria stands tall without her crutches.

"Praise the Lord!"

The crowd, predictably, goes mad with cheering, applause, praising, and clapping. On stage, Bakker soaks it all in as he bounces around the stage screaming praise to the high heavens.

Barry's not impressed, and even chuckles slightly at what he is most certain an act of deception. He turns to Gabriel.

"That's obviously some horseshit going on up there, you know that right?" He asks incredulously.

Gabriel stares ahead at the stage, his eyes like daggers towards the miracle worker in front of him. He's in a world of his own, and Barry notices the change happening to his angelic buddy. Something isn't right, and Barry suspects that there's more at play here than giving Barry "some faith".

For now, though, Barry can't be bothered to press his suspicions; it's frankly too loud to do anything in here. Besides that, every time he moves there's an overeager disciples elbow or knee waiting to take him out.

The best Barry can do is grin and bare it: There's only another 75 minutes remaining.

*****

When all is said and done a total of 3 hours have been spent in the auditorium listening and watching the show. With that, Barry takes the opportunity to use the men's facilities before they head out of the convention centre.

The sweet release is the best feeling Barry has had in the past 48 hours, and something even slightly pleasant comes as a welcome addition to his complicated life.

After finishing, he heads out into the corridors of the convention centre to meet back up with Gabriel at their agreed meeting point. Gabriel, however, isn't anywhere to be seen. Barry has a quick look around him to make sure he's going to spring up on him again. No luck.

Barry figures that he'll see Gabriel outside, and that perhaps they got their lines crossed somehow. Not that he really cares, as he's not best pleased that he's been dragged quite far out of his way for this overextended metaphor.

While walking towards the entrance, he thinks back to how Gabriel was looking at Bakker. He wonders if angels and god have an issue with this sort of thing. He imagines they do, because it's clearly all rubbish. That said, he said the same thing about angels only a few days ago, so anything could truly be possible.

Out of the corner of his eyes he spots Gabriel by a merchandise stand trying to push his way to the front of a queue of excitable patrons.

"Gabriel! Come on! Lets go!" he shouts at him.

Gabriel doesn't react. Barry lets out an under the breath swear and walks briskly towards him.

"Gabe, mate, come on. It's proper stuffy in here."

Gabriel stares at the merchandise.

"T-shirts, DVDs, Coffee cups. Look at it all." Gabriel says quietly.

"Yeah… Tat. Fantastic." Barry says with a scowl.

"How can a man claiming to be empowered by god himself sell… Tat as you put it."

"looking at the lunatics surrounding us I'd say quite well."

Gabriel bites his lip and turns to Barry. "Alrighty then, let's go."

Just after Gabriel speaks, the familiar sound of deafening cheering rocks the air. Gabriel and Barry turn like meercats to the source of the noise; Gabriel's expression turns from glum to a sadistic smile. In the distance, surrounded by bodyguards, Mr Bakker walks the halls.

Gabriel starts towards where Bakker is.

"Hang on! I thought we were leaving this nut house!?" Barry shouts as he follows behind him.

Mr Bakker is busy signing autographs and taking selfies with his fans, but when he notices Gabriel walking towards him he immediately changes his focus to be squarely on the Angel.

"Gabriel!" He says threateningly.

"Bakker!" Gabriel calls back. "Thought you'd be out the back counting your pennies after that performance."

Barry stands behind Gabriel in stunned silence.

"I thought we'd had a talk about you showing up at my sermons. Or do we need to have it again?"

The bodyguards close a perimeter around Mr Bakker and Gabriel, who isn't scared. The big burley bears of men make sure that anyone watching this exchange decides to walk else ware. Except for Barry, who is well and truly trapped in the predicament.

"What's the matter, Bakker? I thought everyone was welcome in your flock? Or is it only the ones who buy the branded plates and this other shite you've had mass produced?" Gabriel says smugly while gesturing wildly with his hands.

Bakker grunts. "No, everyone is indeed welcome, even troublemakers like you."

"I'm sorry, what's going on here?" Barry enquires, acutely aware that these men around him could kill him with a swift breath.

"He doesn't like being exposed, my man. Exposed for the charlatan, no good, cheap sack of s**t he is." Gabriel answers with a smirk.

"Oh, look, I see you've gotten another little friend to indoctrinate into you're lunacy. Take my advice guy, don't listen to a word this maniac says, he's all bark and no bite. Don't come back here, Gabriel, please. I wouldn't want to throw you out."

Bakker gestures with his head and the bodyguards quickly whisk Bakker away to some other waiting fans.

Gabriel laughs as he turns to Barry.

"Oh, Jesus. What a c**k that man is."

"What the Christ was that about?"

"I'll explain later, come on, we've got work to do." Gabriel says as he walks away.

*****

Barry and Gabriel sit together by the Thames riverbank. Both tuck into a styrene plate of fish and chips.

Gabriel is gobbling his food down, savouring every mourish bite. Barry, on the other hand, just pokes and prods his food; he's not feeling particularly hungry.

"You eat a hell of lot, mate. My mum was 23 stone, and not even she ate like you." Barry says.

"You know what it is?" Gabriel replies with a mouth full of chips. "I don't actually need to eat, like, at all. It's just really tasty. All the fat and sugar and stuff. Delish."

Barry ponders his next question for a few moments. "So you're…. Immortal right?"

"Yup."

Barry laughs, shaking his head while Gabriel finishes off his mouthful of food.

"So, if I say, got up right now and shot you in the face. Like, completely blowing your head off your shoulders, proper just explode it. You'd still be alive?"

"Errrrr. I'm not sure to be fair. Nobodys ever tried it."

"First time for everything." Barry quips.

Barry keeps prodding his food before getting fed up and throwing it the bin next to him.

"Did you learn from this mornings experience?" Gabriel asks.

"Not really, seemed a bit like a bunch of hogwash, why would anyone believe in that man?"

Gabriel finishes his food and stands up in front of Barry. He puts his hands together.

"I agree entirely, Barry. How anyone can believe in that snake oil salesman is beyond me. The point of the whole debacle was to show you that people do believe in him. They buy into his whole can of s**t beans, and they eat them all up on mouldy bread." Gabriel pauses for a confused Barry. "It's about faith, Barry. We can't get everything we need to get done unless you have faith in the entire thing."

"I already said I believe you, what more do you want?"

"Not just faith in me, or in the whole system, but in yourself. You need to believe you're worth more than what those idiots in heaven are offering you to even stand half a chance against them. It's simply a matter of self-worth."

Gabriel's words cut deep on Barry, he's never really believed in himself to achieve anything in life, why would he start in death?

"Honestly, Barry, this is important. A lot rides on this adventure, not just for you but for a lot of people who are going to get screwed over by those cunts in the office."

"Alright, look, I'm sure I'll get to grips with it as we go along. But I need some guidance from you, not overcomplicated nonsense at faith healing churches. And while we're on the subject, how do you know that lunatic?"

Gabriel chuckles. "I've tried to expose him a few times, he doesn't like that. He doesn't know that I'm an angel, so that'll be fun for him when he goes up to get his judgement."

Barry gets off his seat.

"What's next then? More food, ey fatty?" Barry says with high spirits.

"We need to start small. Something you've done that you regret or some bollocks like that, and then go out and do something about it. They love that redemption rubbish up there."

"Something I regret? Bit corny isn't it?"

"Yes, it is, but as mentioned they love corny. We're talking rules that are thousands of years old. Find something, but don't take too long."

Gabriel starts to walk away.

"Well, hang on. Where are you going?" Barry asks.

"I've something to sort out. Bakker related. Just do your thing and I'll be in touch, don't you worry sunshine."

Gabriel winks and walks off, leaving Barry standing alone by the river. He's regretted a lot of things in his life. Not going to university, not getting a better job, giving a charity collection 10p, the list is endless. Not many of those he can make up for in the next few hours.

He has a brainwave. There is one thing more than anything he regrets, and he knows exactly what he should do.