Dasvidaniya

Chapter 7

Chapter 7I helped Beulah to the toilet where she retched but nothing came up. I sat her on the wooden seat where she hunched over, barely able to hold her head above her shoulders.

“You belong in a hospital,” I said.

She shook her head pressing her lips together. “No way,” she gasped.

“What if something happens? I won't be able to help you.”

She looked around then up at me. “It's not a bad toilet to die in,” she said. “I've been in far worse. I've seen people die in filthier places.” She held her hands up. “Help me back…please.”

I carried her back to the cot, laying her down gently then went and made a cup of tea with lemon and a liberal dose of honey. She had three blankets and a duvet and still she shivered, teeth chattering like ice cubes jangling in a tall glass.

“Was your father arrested?” she asked me, barely able to get the words out. I made her take a little more tea before answering.

I shook my head. “No, he wasn't arrested that time. Frederick convinced the commandant to let Papa go. That the charge had no merit and the farmers were grumbling as they always had. My father and Frederick returned early the next morning close to dawn. The police had kept them all night. Papa was shaken…he came back a hollow man. You must remember that he was a businessman. He employed many people, most of them Poles. His factories brought prosperity to villages and towns and yet he could be treated like a common criminal any time the authorities pleased. I don't think he realized it until that time. He was pale, ashen-faced when he came through the door. My mother and sister threw themselves at him. Little Simmy was frightened and he too could see the change. After that, my father never looked at me the same way again.”

“What do you mean? How would he look at you?”

“If he'd been a Christian, I would have been his cross to bear, I suppose. Some evil had touched his life and that of the family and he blamed me for it. I was the catalyst, the spark that ignited the flame of hatred. Yet everything I did, I did out of love…for him…for all of them…” I sat back in my chair and hung my head. The memories were still powerful. It was a kind of exquisite t*****e and this young girl had opened it all up again.

On the Saturday before fall term began, Frederick prepared to take his leave slipping out early in the morning before the others got up. He had his reasons for avoiding company. As he carried his valise treading quietly on the stairs, I blocked his way.

“Blast you boy. You are a complete nuisance. If it wasn't for your father…”

“What would you do? Thrash me?”

I watched him take control of himself. “Out of my way, please, Mordecai. The car is waiting and I shall be late. I have a train to catch.”

“What did you do to her?” I hissed.

Frederick hesitated. “What do you mean? To who?” He moved to shoulder his way past but I blocked him again.

“To my sister. To Katya.”

“I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about,” he replied through gritted teeth.

“She was in her room crying all night. I heard her. I know she met you in the back garden last night. What did you do?”

“It's none of your business what happened. Now move.”

“Not until you tell me.” I grabbed a fistful of Frederick's sleeve.

“Let go of me, you idiot.” He glanced behind him, up the stairs. “You'll wake the others.”

“Then you'd better tell me or I'll make enough noise to raise the dead. Either that, or you'll have to fight me to get to the door.”

Frederick jerked his arm free. He made to push me out of the way and make a run for it but he sighed, then smiled grimly.

“It's not dignified running from a mere boy, is it?”

Frederick placed his strong hands on his hips and looked down. “Whatever you think of me, Mordecai, I am a gentleman and would never take advantage of a young lady, especially one who is as beautiful and kind as Katya. I would never stain her honor.”

I stared at him. “What happened then? Tell me or I won't let you go.”

Frederick almost laughed out loud. But he could see I wasn't fooling, even if it was a ridiculous threat.

“I kissed her once, that's all.”

“And?”

“I may have told her she was beautiful, which is true.”

“And?”

“That's the lot. I swear it.” Frederick hesitated. “I'm forcing myself to go away now even though I don't want to because I know the situation is impossible. I'm more than ten years older and your father's business partner.”

Frederick indicated the door.

“Now, if you don't mind, I have a train to catch and I'm asking you to step aside. I don't want to have to knock you down but I will.”

I hesitated. “Knocking me down wouldn't be easy,” I replied.

Frederick smiled ironically. “You may be right. Now, please.”

“What happened at the police station? You and my father came home very late. He won't speak of it.”

Frederick shrugged. “Mordecai, police stations are places of business just like anywhere else.”

“I don't know what you mean.”

“Look, everyone has something for sale, all right? At the bakery, it's bread and cakes. At the butcher's, it's meat and poultry. At a police station, it is freedom. And in this case the price was one thousand zlotys. Now do you understand? It was business, that's all. We came to an understanding and everyone left satisfied.”

“You paid them?”

“Yes.”

“And what about the charges, the accusations?”

“Ridiculous. They had no evidence, just the angry mutterings of some drunken peasants, that's all. They were no match for me, I can tell you.”

“But something happened. My father was very upset.”

Frederick reddened under his tan, then looked away. “You'll have to ask him about it.”

“But he won't say anything. He wouldn't tell me, anyway.”

“Perhaps,” Frederick replied.

“And now you're leaving.”

“Yes, it's for the best, don't you think? In every way. But I'm certain we'll meet again someday, Mordecai. Now, again, please.”

I nodded and took two steps backward. Frederick slid past me and strode to the door. Just as he reached for the knob, he turned.

“Remember, Mordecai. Balance, above all else.”

Then with a twist of the lips, he turned back and went quickly through the doorway out to the waiting car.

I glanced up and saw Simmy's pale face framed between the banisters.

“You heard?” I asked. Simmy nodded. “Did you believe him?”

“Yes, I did.”

“I don't suppose Katya will tell us anything.”

“Probably not.”

“I warned her. I told her she'd been acting like a fool.”

“We all act that way, sometimes, don't we?” Simmy asked.

I glanced up at him again, then shook my head. “Perhaps little brother. I'm just glad I didn't have to try to stop him.” I realized my fists were still clenched. “And as for Papa, I…” but I couldn't finish what I was about to say. Our world had begun to c***k apart.

We saw Frederick one more time just before the war. He came to visit with his family, a sturdy blond wife and two cherubic children; a girl and a boy. He told us he intended to move to Switzerland where it was safe.

“I'm telling you, Chaim,” he said at dinner one evening. “War is coming and Poland will end up in the thick of it. Come with us to Switzerland. Bring everything and everyone with you. After the war is over, we can start again. It is the prudent thing to do.”

My father refused to listen.

Frederick insisted. “I have seen the build up of the Nazi war machine and it is impressive, let me tell you. Things are not good for the Jews in Germany. Many have 'disappeared'. Businesses have been ransacked. Families murdered in the streets. Hitler will send his dogs of war through Poland, I guarantee it. I shudder to think of the consequences. Of what will happen to this country.”

My father reassured him we would be fine. Although resentment against Frederic lingered within me, I felt he spoke the truth that night.

Frederick and his wife, Mathilde, had brought a governess with them to look after the children. She was buxom and pretty. I noticed she and Simmy, who had turned 18, grown his hair long and looked like a young revolutionary, making eyes at each other across the table.

After dinner, I walked the grounds restlessly, thinking about Frederick's words and my father's curt rejection of them. I heard muffled sounds. Peering around the corner of the house, I saw Simmy and the governess together, her white legs locked about his slim hips. Make love while you can, I thought.

The next morning, Frederick and his family left. We never saw them again.