To Have and To Hold (complete)

Chapter 28

A week had passed after Louisa returned from the island, but Angelo had as yet to see her for more than a few minutes. They had both been busy handling their different tasks in preparation for the soft opening of the hotel by the end of the month, which was just a couple of weeks away, that they hardly had time to even say hello to each other. He would have visited her at home had he not been sure that Gabriel would also be there. After the engagement party, Angelo had made it a point to avoid his eldest brother.

Since he was now staying in one of the hotel suites, they hardly ever saw each other. He once overheard Miguel telling Rafael that Gabriel had been injured during their expedition to a small island near Batangas, but at Miguel’s assurance that it was not really serious he did not see the need to personally inquire after his brother’s well-being. Otherwise, he would have set aside their personal differences and visited Gabriel at home. They still were, after all, brothers.

Right this very moment, however, Angelo was not feeling very brotherly towards Gabriel. He had just finished speaking with a friend in London he’d asked to do some digging about Gabriel’s relationship with Isabella. The information he received was quite interesting. Unfortunately, he did not know what to do with it. Or whether he should be glad or alarmed by the news. Therefore, he decided to do a little more investigating himself. Isabella’s f*******: page was not much help since all of her pictures with Gabriel were group pictures and contained nothing that would give him even a glimpse into the woman’s relationship with his brother.

Gabriel did not even have a f*******: account (‘waste of time’, he said), something he had in common with Louisa (her f*******: page and i********: account were for her furniture designs only – not for her personal use, said she didn’t think her life was interesting enough to share with netizens) so he had no help from that end either. He was still battling over his dilemma when a soft knock pulled him away from his thoughts. Reluctantly, he got up on his feet and went to peek through his suite’s peephole. His breath got stuck in his throat when he saw Louisa standing outside his door, carrying a big box of Yellowcab pizza. He waited to see if Gabriel was with her but when he did not appear after a few seconds Angelo hurriedly opened the door wide to greet her.

“Look at what the cat dragged in. It’s so nice to see you, Louie. To what do I owe this pleasure?” he beamed, kissing her cheek.

“Hi, Angelo. I just thought you’d like to share this pizza with me. Do you mind?”

“Of course not! Good thing, too. I haven’t eaten lunch yet,” Angelo replied directing Louisa to the couch set in front of the huge, flat LED TV hanging on the wall.

The coffee table before it was littered with magazines and documents that Angelo had been reading. He stacked them all together and placed them on one of the oversized throw pillows scattered on the floor.

“I forgot to bring drinks,” Louisa said, sheepishly smiling up at Angelo.

“Don’t worry about it. I have some Coke stashed here somewhere. I’ll just go get them, ok?” he replied and sauntered off to the mini-bar at the far side of the room. He came back with a couple of ice-cold Coke in cans. He popped one open and gave it to Louisa. Crossing his legs, Indian-style, he sat beside her on the soft leather couch, his heart fluttering at the nearness of her.

Leaning back on the couch, Angelo observed Louisa’s every movement with complete fascination. He looked on as she untied the string around the box. He watched her smile when she flipped the top to reveal the enormous 18” pizza within. He stared when she placed the packets of hot sauce on the napkins she’d set aside earlier. And as he followed her fingers moving with such delicacy and grace, he could not help but wonder how it would feel like to have those fingers running through his hair, caressing his cheeks, pulling him close for a sweet kiss…

“I didn’t know what your favorite was so I just ordered the ‘Four Seasons’, it’s a sampler that has 4 of their bestsellers – NY classic, #4 cheese, Anchovy lovers, and Roasted garlic and shrimps. Take your pick,” she said, taking a sip of her soda.

He jumped at the abrupt intrusion to his wayward (and slightly lewd) thoughts. He noisily cleared his throat and said, “Which one is yours?”

When he turned to Louisa she found her looking at him with eyes that were almost the color of molten gold, her soft mouth curved in a tender smile, her dimpled cheeks pink and vibrant.

My God, she’s even more beautiful than I remember.

“Hmmm, I think I’ll have a bit of everything. They all look so delish! But I’ll start with this one,” she giggled and took a slice that had shrimps and garlic on top.

Angelo was mesmerized by the way Louisa’s tongue darted out to catch a hanging strand of mozzarella, his own tongue gliding against his teeth as he imagined it sliding against hers in a mind-blowing kiss.

She must’ve felt his perusal for she slowly turned to him, her teeth still clamped on her pizza slice. Then, all of a sudden she was laughing and reaching out to him. Her hand went under his chin and pushed up, closing his mouth in the process.

“Grab your own slice, will you? Stop ogling mine,” she said, chuckling.

Angelo felt his cheeks burn at being caught in such an embarrassing stance. She wouldn’t be laughing if she knew what I was thinking about.

Resolving to behave himself (and rein in his more licentious thoughts), he turned his attention to a less dangerous subject – eating. He grabbed a pack of Tabasco sauce, tore it open, and spread the contents liberally on a slice laden with anchovies. His first swallow of the Tabasco-drenched slice brought on a fit of harsh coughing. He’d obviously misjudged his tolerance for spices and he was soon reaching out for his Coke. He took a large gulp of the ice-cold drink when another bout of coughing almost sent it spewing out of his burning mouth. His actions clearly alarmed Louisa. She started thumping on his back while he continued to cough and gag.

“Angelo! What happened? Are you alright?” She asked, patting his back.

Angelo nodded and gripped his knees, his eyes watering from the ordeal. Another large gulp of Coke brought instant relief to his smarting throat.

“What were you thinking? You should know better than to slather your pizza with that much Tabasco sauce,” Louisa reprimanded while massaging his back.

I was thinking about how delicious you would taste like, he almost blurted.

Luckily, his tongue was still too numb for speech. He reached up behind him and gently pulled her hand towards him. He kissed her fingers in a silent ‘thank you’ then glanced back at her. He’d expected her to pull away, but she only smiled, her eyes sparkling in amusement. Angelo let go of her hand and slumped back against the couch, afraid that any prolonged contact with her would make him do something that would bring them further embarrassment later.

Clearing his throat a few more times, he took another mouthful of his drink before turning to her. She was now sitting with her hands clasped around her knees, staring thoughtfully at the pizza.

“Don’t blame the pizza. I’m sure it’s the Tabasco that had despicable designs on me,” he rasped. Her smile was tiny...and a bit sad.

“So, why are you here, Louie? I’m sure it’s not just to watch me gag and choke on pizza,” he said, his heart beating a painful tattoo inside his chest as he speculated on the real purpose of her visit.

“I’m almost done with the outfitting. The last of the fixtures will be delivered tomorrow. I’ll oversee their installation so you need not worry about that,” she replied, her fingers tracing invisible swirls on her pants.

Is she saying goodbye? Is that it? Is she telling me that we won’t be seeing each other anymore?

“So, the pizza’s a sort of ‘Despedida’, huh?”

“No. Not really. I just wanted to spend some time with you. We had not talked since the party and now that my job’s almost done, we probably won’t be seeing much of each other.”

He recognized the hesitation in her voice. But there’s something else, isn’t there? He wanted to ask, but couldn’t, not sure if he was ready for her answer.

“Angelo, we already set a date.”

His heart practically stopped at her words. He did not need to ask what ‘date’ she was talking about. He knew. She would be going through with the wedding. She was marrying Gabriel. The lump in his throat choked his reply, allowing him only a short nod.

The ensuing silence was unbearable, her proximity even more so. The couch seemed to burn his backside and in one swift motion, he was on his feet, walking away from her and towards the mini-bar. He needed something stronger than Coke. Grabbing the decanter from its perch, he poured himself a double shot of Johnny Walker blue. The warm liquid quickly spread through his insides after he guzzled it without pause. He took two deep breaths to calm his nerves before turning to Louisa.

“Is this what you really want, Louie? Or is this nothing more than ‘doing what is honorable and expected of you’?” he asked, unable to mask the bitterness in his voice.

Louisa did not answer, her head was bowed and still. There was a palpable tension between them and her silence exasperated him. He wanted to scream at her, tell her that she’s a fool. He wanted to shake her back to her senses. He wanted to reveal to her what he’d discovered about Gabriel.

But he couldn’t. And he wouldn’t. Because he knew that if he did, he would break her heart. And upset as he was with her right now, he just could not bear to hurt her in any way. She would know about it soon enough, of that he was sure. But that devastating piece of news would not come from him. He would not be the one to shatter her perfect world.

Sighing in frustration, he trudged back and sat beside her. He slumped back, closed his eyes, and let his thoughts wander for a bit. A feather-soft touch on his arm brought him back from his reverie. He opened his eyes to see Louisa sitting on the floor before him, her chin now casually resting on his right knee, her eyes bright and beseeching. For what? Understanding or absolution? He could not tell.

All he knew as he looked down on her bewitching face, was that he wanted to touch her, to hold her in his arms and make her forget everything else. Then, without even knowing it, his hand was reaching out and caressing her silken cheek. He felt the first stirrings of desire as his fingers moved down to trace her luscious lips. He gasped when an extremely sensual image invaded his mind at her very suggestive position on the floor.

With a grunt, he grabbed Louisa by the shoulders and hauled her back onto the couch. Shaking fingers raked through his hair, appalled by his brusque treatment of her. Louisa must have felt the same way since she was now looking at him with something akin to what one would give a dangerous reptile, her fingers briskly rubbing where his own had dug painfully a while ago.

“I’m sorry, Louie. I didn’t mean to hurt you...but seeing you sitting at my feet like that, well…let’s just say it made me very uncomfortable,” he said, glancing at her. He saw her frown, pondering his meaning, then she shrugged, evidently unable to decipher his words.

“It’s okay, no harm done,” Louisa replied, smiling again at him.

“When did you decide to go through with it?” Strangely, he could not bring himself to say the words ‘marry him’.

Louisa scooted to the far end of the couch, pulled up her legs, and hugged them tightly, her chin resting on her knees. Her eyes twinkled as she replied with a dreamy smile on her lips, “On the day of the party. Somehow, I felt then that we were meant to be.”

An arrow could’ve pierced Angelo’s heart, yet it would not have brought as much pain as her words had. Meant to be? That sounded utterly final and irrevocable. So, something did happen between them that day!

“Are you telling me that you fell in love with Gabriel the day of the party?” he asked, his heart crumbling to a million pieces.

Louisa’s hesitation perked him up a little, but then she blushed and nodded, “Yes, I think I did.”

With that, the world closed down on him, crashing in waves of grief, hopelessness, and resignation. Five little words that wounded him more than a thousand lashes would have.

Still, he must not let Louisa see the devastation her words brought him. If she did, she would realize just how much he really loved her, and with her new-found love for Gabriel, it would be the one thing that would definitely make her shun him.

She must not know. Not yet, anyway. Because after Gabriel’s secret was revealed, she would need someone to catch her, someone to comfort and help her overcome the agony of his betrayal.

And Angelo would make sure when the time came, that ‘someone’ would be no one else but him.