To Have and To Hold (complete)

Chapter 22

“Louisa! Louisa! Wake up, for God’s sake”, Gabriel cried, repeatedly tapping Louisa’s cheeks to revive her. He’d started to lift her off of the bed when he heard her soft moan. He breathed a sigh of relief when she opened her eyes and looked up at him questioningly.

“Oh, dearest! You scared me!” he blurted before he could stop himself, his long fingers gently stroking her forehead. “Please don’t do that again, ever!”

Louisa smiled, her eyes softening at Gabriel’s worried expression. She reached up and slowly caressed his face, her eyes roving over every feature, assuring herself that it was indeed Gabriel that held her and not just a dream of him.

“I’m sorry, Gabriel. I’ve never done that before. I guess I’m just not used to hearing such words from someone as brutish as you,” Louisa said, smiling playfully at him.

Gabriel leaned in and placed a feather-soft kiss on his fiancée’s half-opened lips. When he pulled away his eyes shone with a tenderness that his heart could no longer hide. He could not believe that just a month ago he had been so opposed to being betrothed to this impossibly fascinating and desirable young woman. Now, here he was, opening his heart freely to her, laying his much-guarded emotions at her feet.

Could this really be love? Or was he just being swept away by his desire for her? Had he really forgotten how things stood between them before? Had he really gotten over his annoyance for that exasperating ‘little tyrant Louie’ he used to know? He searched her face for any trace of the imp he knew but all he saw was a woman eager to offer herself completely to him. How could that have happened? Where did that ‘hoydenish nuisance’ go? Or was she still there, hiding beneath the surface of this enthralling beauty?

Gabriel realized that he did not care. If indeed, that part of her was still there, he would take it along with everything else she had hidden underneath. Besides, if he really were capable of falling in love, would it not be better if he did so with this woman? She was his betrothed and he’d already resigned himself to marrying her anyway.

Yes, he’d been vocal about his displeasure at being betrothed to Louisa. He’d even contemplated on finding enough reason not to go through with it. He might’ve even have told Miguel, at one point or another, during one of his blackest moods, that he would marry her just to appease their father. But that was before his heart had decided to stage a coup d’etat and unseat his malevolent self; before his body betrayed him into desiring her more than he’d ever desired anyone in his entire life.

Gabriel could not help but smile, the thought of their wedding night flashing in his mind’s eye. He felt like a schoolboy awaiting summer vacation. He shifted in his seat, the first stirrings of desire clawing inside him. And before he knew it he was swooping down and capturing Louisa’s soft lips. He felt pleasure blossom within him when she responded to his kiss, her arms going around his neck, pulling him closer to her. He feasted in the sweetness of her lips, the softness of her breasts pressing against him, the warmth of her body inviting him to further intimacy.

Yet, he knew that he must not give in to his desire, not after he’d promised himself that he’d make their union memorable. Because, for the first time in his life, Gabriel wanted purity and legitimacy in his relationship. Reluctantly, he pushed himself up and slowly disengaged from Louisa’s embrace. He almost gave up resisting when he saw the same naked desire mirrored in Louisa’s face, but his iron-clad will gave him the strength that he needed. And just to make sure that no confused signals came between them again, Gabriel pulled Louisa close to his chest and hugged her tight.

“Oh, Dearest! You don’t know how hard it is for me to restrain myself from finishing what we’ve started. But I must not take advantage of your innocence and lead you to dishonor. I can wait. And I assure you, there will be time enough to show you what I really feel.”

He looked down at Louisa and saw her smile, relief briefly flitting in her eyes. Gabriel realized that she was struggling with herself just as strongly as he was and had he continued with his provocation she would not have had the strength to resist him. His heart fluttered at the thought of Louisa desiring him as much as he did her. It gave him a sense of joy and contentment, a quiet assurance that everything would work out between them eventually.

After giving his fiancée a quick peck on the cheek, Gabriel jumped to his feet, smoothed his rumpled shirt, then grabbed Louisa’s hand and pulled her up from the bed.

“Come on, sweetling. Let’s get you out of that tempting contraption before I forget myself and r****h you again,” Gabriel said, chuckling softly at Louisa’s snort.

“As if I’d let you do such a despicable thing,” Louisa replied, her brows raised mockingly.

Gabriel smiled at the feigned indignation. So, she’s still got claws. Good! I really much prefer the untamed lioness to the docile kitten.

“Shall we put it to the test then?” Gabriel retorted, slowly pulling Louisa to him. Louisa playfully slapped his arm away then wriggled out of his reach and ran for the door.

“Later perhaps, mi amor. For now, let’s eat. I’m famished!” she said, throwing him an impish smile that made Gabriel’s insides churn in ravenous hunger, but not for food.

Louisa must’ve recognized the licentious look in Gabriel’s eyes when she squealed and ran out the door, her playful laughter egging Gabriel to rush out in pursuit of her.

Gabriel caught up with her when they reached the kitchen. He grabbed her hand and pulled her to him, his lips coming down on hers with a vengeance. His senses soared at her rapid response, her lips moist and sweet and hot and welcoming. He was already lost in his intoxicating exploration of her delicious mouth, his hands moving of their own volition to the small of her back, when he heard three, loud coughs coming from the direction of the kitchen table.

Slowly, he disengaged himself from Louisa and saw, to his dismay, that the kitchen was far from deserted. Sitting around the table, were his father, his brothers Miguel and Rafael and (to his added embarrassment), Louisa’s father. He would’ve died of humiliation right then and there had he not chanced a glance at Louisa’s still upturned face, eyes tightly closed, lips slightly parted, blissfully unaware of the debacle they were in. And before he could control himself, he burst out laughing.

Louisa’s eyes flew open when she heard his laughter, annoyed that he was making fun of her. They grew wide when she saw Gabriel looking behind her. Her face turned like freshly-picked strawberries when she rightfully concluded that they were not alone. Grabbing Gabriel’s hand, she ran and dragged him out of the kitchen. She was running so fast Gabriel ended up getting towed up to the gardens by a little runaway dynamo. When they reached the gardens, Gabriel tugged Louisa’s hand to halt her charge.

She abruptly turned to him and gave him the most adorable, staring-down he’d ever seen; her cheeks were flushed red, in exhaustion (or perhaps anger), her hands were on her hips, her brows pulled down into a tight frown, lips (still red and luscious) puckered tautly, eyes bright and blazing amber against the sun.

Even in anger she still looked like a goddess. How could I resist such a woman! Gabriel despaired.

He reached out and pulled her toward him. He could feel the resistance in her but she gave in just the same. Then he recalled how her eyes grew as big as saucers upon realizing their embarrassing situation and he started chuckling again. Two small fists started pounding on his chest, her body shaking against him. Thinking that she was crying, Gabriel slowly stroked her hair but was surprised when she pushed his hand away. She strode over to the nearest bench and plopped down unceremoniously, her shoulders shaking due to laughter and not sorrowful tears.

He joined her on the bench, laughing. How could he have thought that such a trivial incident would bring tears to her eyes! The ‘little tyrant Louie’ he knew cried out of anger and frustration but never from embarrassment.

“That was quite a show we put on for them, wasn’t it?” Louisa said, her eyes sparkling mischief.

“Quite. But do you know who were in that kitchen?” Gabriel asked.

“I’m sure my father was in there. You wouldn’t have blushed like that if he wasn’t.”

“Yes, well, I wonder what he’s thinking now.”

“He’s probably thinking that you’re despicable and he’s crazy for entrusting his only daughter to you.”

“Really? I believe he’s thinking his daughter is so lucky to have a fiancé who adores her that much.”

“Hmmm..well, he might adore his fiancé but will he still adore her when she becomes his wife? Would he not get tired of her by then?”

Gabriel put his arm around Louisa’s shoulder, pulled her against him and kissed the top of her head.

“He would adore her above everything else, put her on a pedestal and worship her day and night.”

Louisa pulled away and looked up at Gabriel’s now serious face. “I don’t want to be put on a pedestal and I don’t want to be worshipped.”

“Well then, what would you rather have me do, my sweetness?”

“I just want to be loved, Gabriel, that’s all. Nothing more.”

“I think I can do that. But then, there’s one thing I’d require from my wife, too.”

“What’s that?”

“She’d have to love me back.”

I already do, Louisa almost said. But fear stilled her lips and she chose to lighten the moment instead.

“Well, perhaps can do that, too. If, you don’t turn back into that ogre that I used to know.”

“Me? An ogre? I disagree completely. I was just too serious and quiet for my age back then.”

“Hah! You weren’t ‘serious and quiet’ for your age! You were brutish and snobbish and cold and…”

The rest of her words were cut off when Gabriel cupped her face and kissed her with total abandon. Louisa responded in kind and they completely forgot about the incident in the kitchen and the light banter that they’d started just now.

When they finally found the strength to control their raging feelings, the couple left the bench and walked back to the villa hand-in-hand, prepared to face their future together with eagerness and hope, unaware that their new-found happiness would be short-lived as sins from the past would soon come to drive them apart.