Just Rose

Chapter 43

The girls spent the rest of the day at the cottage in Rose’s work room, she had been glad of being able to go straight to the car when Abby went in for Muffin and even more glad to see Morag’s car was nowhere to be seen anymore.

At the cottage, she had been teaching Abby about illustrating whimsical creatures and magical forests, watercolor and the use of inks and pens in her work; together they had been creating some little art pieces for Abby’s room. Magical Unicorn and princess style pictures in soft tones and muted colours.

There was something relaxing and healing about sitting side by side in silence and painting, the companionship of another artist in the way her aunt and she had sat as a child. She realised just in that tiny moment why her aunt had loved bringing her here and it pained her to think of her again. She had got so good at pushing it away. Forcing the memories down until she could deal with the pain, but today she felt more able to let them linger for a moment. Reminisce and remember her. Picture her sweet face and her long flowing dark hair that she loved to wear down; it still hurt a lot but not in the heart-wrenching, breath stopping way it had after the funeral.

She watched Abby, engrossed in her painting; her eyes watching the way her brush flowed on paper, the gentle tilt of her head and the innocent chew on her lip and felt an overwhelming maternal surge.

Rose had never had a sister. She had two brothers she rarely saw but she had never had someone she loved to death the way she loved this girl. Not since her aunt. Not in this way. A real friend but something more; a sisterly protective love, she knew she would beat down walls to look after her no matter how things ended with her brother.

Abby felt her gaze and glanced up smiling at her. There was something in that trusting look, the eyes full of affection, trust and happiness and mutual love that instantly broke her. Out of nowhere the sob flew from her throat and the tears fell like a waterfall that had just erupted from a damn and she just could not contain it.

Maybe it was the meeting with Rob’s father and his words, maybe it was having no one to talk to about this and bottling it up inside for days on end. Maybe it was allowing the thoughts of her aunt to overwhelm her in that moment, making her fragile or maybe it was the exhaustion from lack of sleep and a hellish night, but whatever reason; it came crashing out like an eruption and she could not stop.

* * *

Two hours later, calm and curled on the couch, surrounded by screwed up tissue Rose was sat with a snuffly nose and puffy eyes. Her skin sore from repeated wiping and she was cradling a cup of cocoa as Abby sat perched on the arm of the chair, watching her studiously. The picture of calm wisdom despite the fact Rose had told her everything.

Abby had not flown into a rage, angry at the lies and the deceit or betrayal of both brother and best friend. She had not stormed out or cried and gone off on one. She had instead wrapped her friend in a hug and let her talk and sob until there was nothing more to say. Nodding and stroking her hair; she had told her she knew deep down something was going on between them. Gut instinct. Knowing both of them well enough to see the subtle signs and she wasn’t mad at either of them. She was hurt, but she understood why they hadn’t told her; Abby herself admitted it would have been used as a weapon the first-time Morag riled her, she was just glad she finally knew. That she finally had the whole picture instead of hopeful suspicion and half guessed facts.

‘What now?’ She watched Rose take sips of her soothing drink, a look of compassion on her beautiful face, but Rose shrugged.

‘I try and get over him I guess.’ Even saying it aloud hurt.

‘I can’t believe it had been going on that long and I had no clue, looking back though it’s so obvious. Rob has been unusually happy the last few weeks, overly nice and loving and well he was just damned more fun to be around. Until this past week that is.... He’s back to being a crabbit arse. I could arrange her disappearance.’ Abby broke into a wide grin and winked, that same wink bestowed earlier by her father. ‘You know how much I love that wretch and well, we are rich enough!’

Rose smiled, feeling lighter and drained. She shook her head.

‘If it’s meant to be Abby then she wouldn’t be an issue. He would make it work. I would have made it work. It wouldn’t have ended the way it did.’ She needed to accept part blame in this. It was not all on him.

‘No! If he loved you then he wouldn’t have let her come between you. He would have been honest from day one and made you feel like you mattered more than she did. He’s an arse and a half for how he handled this.’

‘You know it’s not that simple. Morag is his friend and she is fragile. Despite everything, all my pain and tears... He was only trying to be a good guy, Ab’s.’ Rose nudged Abby with her foot, to pull that scowl from her face. ‘It’s not his fault that Morag’s unwell, he just got into a place that he couldn’t get out of so easily and I stupidly agreed to play along. I thought I could handle it... I thought it would be different and he just needed a little time.’ Both girls sighed loudly.

Abby looked down at her feet, curled on the couch, equally frustrated; seeing the situation from Rob’s viewpoint and trying to empathise.

‘Maybe not being with you will change things, Rose...? He seems...’ She was grasping the air for the right words. ‘Different!’ She huffed, ‘I don’t know! With him, it’s always hard. He’s not easy to read, always keeps everything close to his chest, but he’s off; moods and general air around him. Since he came back he is just so agitated; jogging way more at night than ever before. Spending a lot of time in his office; narky as f**k and seems to lose his temper way too easily with me lately. More so than ever before.’ She slid down into the couch a little more, her feet mingling with Roses. ‘Knowing what I know now, I would say he’s hurting... In that manly, quiet, strong faced guy, kinda way! You know when they act like there all cool and don’t care s**t! I’ve never seen Rob broken hearted but I’m guessing it looks a lot like this.’ She laid her head on the arm of the couch and pulled a fluffy cushion between her knees.

‘Maybe...But it doesn’t make me feel better Abby. It doesn’t change how things are, how impossible it is to even try again.’ Rose threw a gentle smile at her friend, pulling the cushion from her and cuddling it herself. All this talk of Rob had her heart aching badly and she wanted nothing more than for his arms to be around her right now.

‘Maybe not right now it doesn’t, but Rob is hardly the type to sit back and let things he wants slide away.’ Abby stretched her arms out into the air, exhaled as she stretched her limbs.

‘Maybe that’s the problem...? Maybe he didn’t want me enough? Maybe, despite thinking I would be different than those other women, he just realised I wasn’t, and it was just another casual fling.’ A tear rolled down her cheek, her insides aching, and Abby pulled her over into an almost headlock embrace and patted her back, meaning she was pulled forward almost to lie on top of the girl. It was incredibly uncomfortable and awkward.

‘Don’t ever say that! Any guy who did not want you with his whole heart and soul is a f*****g moron. Brother or not I’ll slap his big dumb head into...’

‘No!!’ the sudden spring backwards sent them both flailing, close to the edge of the couch and grasping to stay upright, sheer panic on Rose’s face.

‘You CANNOT! I repeat CANNOT! Let on you that know anything Abby. Promise me? If he knew I told you after promising I would tell no one...’

‘Heck No! That i***t brother of mine deserves no loyalty now Rose. You’re done with him and your promise ended when you broke up! You already told me my dad knows, so it’s okay for him to tell someone, but not you? How is that fair then? It’s not and right now I am so severely pissed at him.’ Abby was back to scowling, scrambling to sit up and sit rigidly.

‘You can’t hate your brother on my account, He loves you and you love him. You adore him! I don’t want this to affect you Abby, to come between you.’

‘I don’t hate him. I’m mad at him. I’m severely raging at him for letting this happen. For you getting hurt... It’s HER I hate!’

They both sat back silent and broody, looking at one another, with minds whizzing, gears and wheels turning. A smile slowly broke out on the younger girls face that started to take over, reaching her mischievous glittering eyes.

‘What?’ Rose knew that look only too well and sighed suspiciously. The plan hatching smirk! Abby licked her lips looking smug.

‘What does every wronged heroine do in every chick flick and soppy book since the start of time when the hero breaks her heart?’ She beamed knowingly.

‘Cry and hide in her mansion, looking beautifully distressed and eating ice cream?’ Rose sighed hopefully, knowing full well Abby was plan forming in that quick head and she probably wouldn’t like it.

‘Screw that! Shut up and err NO... They spruce up. Push up their boobs and get out there, acting like the world’s their oyster and way more fish in the sea!’ She exclaimed triumphantly as thought she had just found the cure to cancer.

‘I’m not ready to go fishing Abby.’ Rose said flatly and returned to picking fluff from her dress.

‘You’re not going to be fishing, my empty-headed love...It’s never about getting under a new man, is it? It’s about getting over one! It’s about torturing the old one!’ Abby prodded her annoyingly in the shoulder to get her undivided attention.

‘You lost me.’ Rose just blinked, deadpan.

Abby jumped up onto the arm, perching her butt rather tediously for emphasis and leant in with a wickedly childish smile

‘You look amazing, right? Swan about carefree and non-broken hearted. You see him and you’re like ‘Yeah whatever’...It drives him crazy. He will pine over you and long for what he has lost; if you look broken hearted then he feels better, right? Because he knows you’re in as much pain as he is, and it makes him feel better. You look over it, act on it and he goes into meltdown. Starts acting like a crazy fool to get you back and maybe finally dump the red head in the river.’ Abby all but licked her finger and sizzled it in the air as though she had found the answer to all her prayers. Rose was not so sure.

‘And you learned this from where? A Danielle Steele novel? This is real life Abby and he’s not some dim-witted moron who would fall for games like that. I don’t play games and I don’t want to start now.’ She felt irritated and got up to start clearing up the sea of tissues and empty mugs. This was what having a childlike best mate was really like.