When I had gotten the text from Ryan saying he wanted to talk, I was scared. First, I had no idea how he got my number and second, I did not want him to say he told me so and that I was not good for Aydan or that all that was happening was my fault. I had my brain already reminding me constantly that I did not want to add him to the list.
I sat by the bleachers wanting for him to show up while constantly trying to keep my heart rate normal. If my cardiologist saw just how much I had been putting my heart through, there was no doubt he was going to give me huge scolding and then prescribe more medication which meant more money which also meant having to work triple shifts on Mum’s end. I was not ready for any that. But the one case I feared most was if he suggested that I get hospitalised.
