Love You As You Are

13 | Miles and Mr Stark

“It kinda sucks that it’s your birthday and you’re not here,” I rolled my eyes at Indra. Out of all the times, she’d chose now to do a video call when I can’t even find my iPods. I yawned, as I looked through the available fridge to see if there’s anything I can eat.

“It’s just another day, Indra,” I murmured, frowning when I realised that we’re not in Mr Stark’s apartment and there’s room service. “Ugh, there’s nothing to eat here,” I slumped on the isle stool, grabbing the phone. My heart almost jumps out of my chest when Mr Stark suddenly appears in the doorway. “Indra, let me-“

“This is the first time we’re apart on our birthdays,” Indra said quietly. “You said you’d come back in a week. Two weeks’ over now,”

“Something came up,” I said. “I have to do something important today in London,” I refused to look at Mr Stark’s naked torso as he leaned against the doorway, looking at me. He’s doing this on purpose.

“You’re still in London?” Indra shrieked, zooming her face into the screen. “What are you still doing there? The event was yesterday. You’re supposed to be on the plane back to Seattle,”

“Yeah, but something came up,” I said.

“Miles, your family’s in London. What if they see you?” I found myself laughing.

“Might be too late for the ‘what if’,” she grimaced.

“You’ve met them?”

“Some of them,” I said.

“And…are you okay?” she asked me.

“Why wouldn’t I be, okay?” Indra rolled her eyes at me. I don’t know why Mr Stark is watching me.

“Anyways, happy birthday b***h,” she yelled. “I’m on my way to work,” I can hear shuffling. “I miss you,”

“Ha, you miss the food you were going to get for my birthday, not me,” I said laughing.

“I’m trying to be sentimental here you old hag,” she yelled. “You know what? f**k you,”

“I love you,” I said.

“b***h,” she said before hanging up. A moment later, she called again.

“What?” she’s sitting in her car, pouting.

“I love you too,” I thought I heard Mr Stark snickering under his breath, but it could be in my head with how emotionless he looked. “Come back soon, okay?”

“Okay,” she hung up then. “I’m going to town. Am I needed for anything?” I asked Mr Stark. My eyes were glued to the tattoos littered all over his upper body. His left sleeve looked like a forest scenery of some sort. Right at the back, he had numbers, a date, with a tiny baby handprint. I wondered what they meant.

“You can go,” he said his back to me.

*****

| Mr Stark |

“When does s*x feel…different?” I found myself asking as I watched Miles interact with his little brother from afar, right on the ground floor of Sirenio Inc.

Anthony turns to gawk at me, no doubt surprised by my sudden question. My eyes are shamelessly looking at Miles’ ass in those navy blue pants. Even when they’re loose fitting, I can still see the outline of his ass. f**k, he has a nice ass.

“Emmanuel Stark, where is that coming from?” Anthony inquired. “And why are you talking about s*x when we agree-“

“You told me I shouldn’t touch Eloise,” I pointed out. “And what I do behind closed doors is none of your business,” I gave him a look.

Once upon a time, I was smitten by Anthony’s ass. Well, more like asshole, since he has the flattest ass known to men. It’s probably still the case, but I’m pretty occupied with somebody else’s ass. f**k me for even agreeing to this marriage nonsense. Now I have to act like a husband to the woman I’d never even give a second glance. Just as Anthony is pleasing to the eye, so is Eloise. I just don’t see myself with that woman. She’s too…meek and innocent.

Once upon a time, I thought Miles was innocent and meek. The man has proved me wrong more times than I can count in the last two weeks. And just when I find the perfect p***y, I have to get married. The Gods are against me, I’m convinced.

I cannot comprehend how I became so addicted to Miles overnight. One drunken night and all I can think about is the way his p***y grips. How wet he gets, it slips right in. And don’t get me started on his moans. There’s been a sickening number of times the women I’ve slept with had the most irritating moans ever. It’s just…too much and too fake, it take God’s grace to make me c*m around those sounds. Those sounds are just not it for me. Kinda contradictory when I want to make Miles scream out when I f**k him.

Sex is the same to me. It has always been the same. With every woman I’ve slept with, it was just that. s*x and nothing more. One-night stands. Quickies. Hook-ups. Booty calls, whatever people call it, it’s all the same. It’s just the same p***y with another face. I’d grown accustomed to that routine. I call someone, we f**k, and she leave. No pillow talk, no cuddling, nothing. And I liked it that way. It’s the same. The only time it ever felt slightly different was when I was with Anthony. Only because the piece of s**t is a f*****g freak and well…he’s good at what he does.

Miles though.

With Miles, I want to explore him. I want to know the deepest secrets that he clearly hides from the rest of the world. I want to be the one to discover him. That night we f****d, there was something innocent about him. Something he too hadn’t discovered. When Liam brought him back to our place, drunk wasted, he’d been a completely different person. He had let loose. One thing led to another, and I was in for a surprise. A part of me was surprised to find that Miles is a transman. As everyone else who’d have the reaction ‘oh, you are trans’ I did too.

But it meant nothing to me. Not in a sense that it’s disgusting, and I don’t want to see you again. It changed nothing, except that now I hold the knowledge not many people know about. It’s probably his friend and little brother that knows. That’s about it.

He's trans. Life goes on. I still wanna f**k him.

I fail to understand why people are so harsh on things they do not understand. Things that aren’t affecting their daily miserable lives at that. Now, all that’s left is Miles believing that it’s better to hide himself than have people find out. It’s pathetic what they can do to one person.

Now, as I watch him talk to his brother, he’s clearly not himself. Nor does he feel relaxed. He’s visibly tense, his eyes constantly darting everything, possibly searching for the rest of his family.

The Sirenios have been ruling the business industry since the beginning of time. They’re literary everywhere, it’s not a joke. They’d had to have gone through the shittiest bankruptcy for me to bypass them. I’m not planning to anyway. They’re not my competition, if it were even one. And I hadn’t realised all this time, that I had their heir right under my command. And he’s willing too. Now, I’m even more curious about Miles. He keeps drawing me in. He’s a mystery that I’m willing to solve.

“Fine,” Anthony huffed out. “Who are we talking about?” he said.

“s*x,” I said.

“I mean the person that changed s*x for you, i***t,” he said with an eyeroll. My eyes twitch at the sight. I remember when Miles rolled his eyes at me last night. And when he shivered under my touch.

“When did I mention a person?” I quirked a brow at him. He eyed me with a distasteful look. “Don’t tell me you’re jealous, Roman,” at that, he rolled his eyes again.

“Get over yourself, Stark,” he said. “I said I wanted your d**k, not you,” it was my turn to roll my eyes as I focused back on Miles, who quickly looked away upon meeting my eyes. I found myself smirking at that. So he was checking me out too. Good.

The young Sirenio escorted us to the elevator that will take us upstairs. He was eating a chocolate cake of some sort, smearing his mouth with it. “Whoa, slow down. Cake’s not going anywhere,”

“Oh it might,” he said shoving another forkful of cake in his mouth. He chewed for a moment before speaking up. “If mom or dad sees me eating this cake, it’s over for me,” he laughed, going back to eating, though he was slower. Anthony and I listened in on their conversation. “You know how fussy they are about the food you’ve consumed,”

“They still do that?” Miles frowned, stopping at the elevators.

“Never stopped. You know, gotta keep up for the public image and all,” young Sirenio rolled his eyes. “If I suddenly show up with a belly, the world is ending. It’s way worse for Irina,”

“That’s absurd,” Miles’ frown deepened, and I know he’s bothered by the information. We filed in the elevator. Miles does his best to avoid me at all costs, which is to be expected. Every time we have s*x, he’ll probably do this. I guess I’ll have to stop that before it becomes a habit.

“Tell me about it,” young Sirenio said with a sigh, eating what’s left of the cake. “Thanks for this anyway. I didn’t think you’d remember my birthday,” at that, I frowned. “Which is weird now that I think about it,” he added with a nervous smile. “Since we share a birthday. Still find it weird, how we have a whole eight years between us, but we share a day. Like what are the odds?” Miles didn’t say anything. “I got you something as well,” young Sirenio piped up, tapping the front of his bag. He pulled out a rectangular midsize green box with a gold ribbon.

“You didn’t have to,” Miles said, eyeing the box.

“But I wanted to,” young Sirenio said nervously, no doubt fearing his brother might reject the present. Instead, Miles smiled and reached across to take the present, making his brother smile widely.

“Thank you,” Miles said. “I should open this later. It’s going to be pretty busy in a few minutes,”

“Yeah yeah, of course,” Miles crouched down to put the box in his bag. The length of it had the box peeking out the top and he couldn’t close the box. “I had other presents for you, but I figured you wouldn’t want them,” he said. Miles looked up at him with a frown. “Well, mom still celebrates your birthday every year, hoping that…one day you’d come back,” I saw the way the atmosphere shifted in Miles’ face as he stood up. “So I got you presents every year as well. They’re at home if…you want them,” I watched Miles carefully.

One thing about him, he rarely shows any emotions other than anger. Even that anger is contained.

“Maybe someday,” he said quietly. Young Sirenio’s face fell for a split second before he hid it well behind a blinding, surprisingly genuine smile.

“Someday,” he repeated. “Marquezine misses you,” I witnessed Miles’ face light up at the mention of the name. That seemed to please young Sirenio because his smile widened.

“She’s still there?”

“Yep, except now her daughter is working. She retired,”

“How does she even remember me? Isn’t she like 80 or something?” Young Sirenio laughed.

“Don’t let her hear you say that” he said shaking his head, as they shared a laugh.

“Get out of my kitchen, you little rats,” Miles said, mimicking whoever Marquezine is. “No more cookies for you,” they burst out laughing. I can’t help but look at the way Miles smiled. Lines crinkling the corners of his mouth, his eyes almost closed. “By now, you should have gotten a different name,” Miles says still laughing.

“Oh no, I haven’t seen her in a while,” young Sirenio said.

“Why not?”

“I don’t…do that anymore,” he replied, his smile fading. “Not since you left anyway,” he murmured the last part. Miles’ face dropped when the words registered in his head.

“Seriously?” He spoke up. “Why must you act like everything fell apart after I left?”

“Well, things did fall apart after you left, Miles,” young Sirenio said eyeing his brother. “In no way am I saying that it was all your fault. I just…” he paused. “It feels like you think we forgot about you,” Miles scoffed at that. “It’s true. Mom and dad have been on the verge of a divorce. I don’t know man; I think she hates him for…whatever reasons. Things just…got cold. Things aren’t the same, Miles. Maybe…someday you could come back home and-“ the elevator stopped then, the doors opening. Miles is now rigid, no longer laughing. “Mayb-“

“That place was never my home,” Miles said walking out.

*****